Misery Loves Company
by prettytiedup23
Summary: Work out your own salvation through fear and trembling. The Veil is giving up it's secrets just in time to save Harry from himself. Post-HBP Harry/Sirius Slash. Set during Deathly Hallows. DH spoilers throughout.
1. Chapter 1

Misery Loves Company

Rating: MA – Eventually

Authors Notes: Alright, so I am having a serious writers block when it comes to Love and Potion Blunders so I decided to try a little something new. I would really appreciate some feedback on this…I have no idea where I am going with this but I know eventually it will be Harry/Sirius.

Warnings: This is Slash people!! Don't like, don't read. Simple.

**Misery Loves Company**

By: Kitty

I used to love the rain. Now, I can't stand it. The rain patters against the dilapidated roof of Grimmauld Place with a sickeningly graceful rhythm. Nothing about this time is graceful and the fucking weather should learn to go along with the rest of the world. It's chaos out there. Oh, not that the bloody Prophet is reporting any of it, but that's what convinces me that everything is going pear-shaped.

The grey fog creeps lazily along the street and it makes me shiver just looking at the bleakness surrounding the decaying house. It must be mating season for the Dementors. Or maybe it's the house itself. Something has always been wrong with this ruddy house, without him it's insufferable. All I smell, hear, taste, and see here is death. There is a constant searching, clawing, snapping, choking shadow that creeps into me and sticks in the back of my throat.

The bed sheets were beginning to smell of the house instead of the man who once lay here so I cast a stasis charm on it. The bed smells right again. Yesterday I even found a strand of silky black curled into the fabric of the pillowcase. I saved it for….something, I don't know what yet but I couldn't just flick it onto the floor like I would with my own. It was his, after all.

"Master Harry, Kreature has making lunch for you. Miss Mud Blood and Mr. Blood Traiter is already eating" a rattling voice flows through the door and I draw the slightly plusher pillow over my head with a grunt. I wish they would leave me alone for just one day.

"Thanks Kreature, but I wont be taking lunch" I reply as formally as possible, removing the pillow from my head. Please go away, please go away, please go away.

"Kreature is knowing as much so he is bringing Master Harry a tray" the elf croaks before popping into the locked room without so much as a pause. He places the lunch tray on the edge of the bed and bows deeply, already beginning to pop away. Well, that went better than I expected. At least I didn't have to toddle downstairs to reprise my award winning role as Normal Harry.

"Thanks, Kreature" I whisper to the recently vacated room. It's just me and the house now. I feel the corners of my lips turn up in a sardonic smile and I begin to eat the soup that the house elf brought. Yum, potato cream. I was never allowed to have cream soups at the Dursley's. They were Dudley's favorite so I didn't get any. I never have to see them again, but the thought that I am eating a cream soup makes me grin.

Even as I pull a book from the bedside table and begin to read while I sip happily at my soup I can feel it. Something is wrong here, dreadfully wrong. The absolute unnaturalness of this house is distracting; it turns my mind from Horcrux Hunting and mindless moping… for that I almost welcome the abomination. Almost. Right, you are reading a book. Pay attention, focus. You have to find a way to destroy Horcruxes!

_A Horcrux is a receptacle in which a Dark wizard has hidden a part of his soul for the purposes of attaining immortality. With part of a wizard's soul thus stored, the wizard becomes immortal so long as the Horcrux remains intact. For this reason, Horcruxes are typically hidden in a safe location. Even if the wizard's body is destroyed, a portion of his soul will remain preserved within the Horcrux.__ However, the destruction of the creator's body leaves the wizard or witch in a state of half-life, without corporeal form…_

Fantastic, I already know that. Fuck! I was positive that the Black family library would have something about identifying and destroying Horcruxes. Blood Fuck! Alright, table of contents….ah ha!

_Creation and Masking of objects, Wizardspaces, Usable Potion Ingredients, Horcruxes, Dream Spheres, Pensive Trespassing, Wand Craft, The Veil, Creature Blood and their uses in pure bloodlines, Interrogation procedures, Transpor…_

Wait a tick. The Veil? Oh Merlin, THE VEIL! I flip the pages frantically, almost tearing some in my haste. There has never been any indication that there was written literature about The Veil. Bless you, Blacks and your insidious library!

_The __Veil__ was widely believed to be the barrier between the land of the living and the land of the dead. This is not the case. The Veil is a very powerful ancient artifact that was discovered previous to the construction of The Ministry of Magic building. Unable to remove The Veil, officials built a room around the artifact and sealed it within The Department of Mysteries. Only Unspeakables have access to study and observe The Veil within the Room of Death. _

_Although not much is known about The Veil, its origins, or its uses before 110 B.C., once the Ministry began research on the artifact itself it was discovered to be an arcane form of imprisonment used by the free roaming magical beings that once inhabited this region. Once a subject was forced through the archway, an immediate stasis overcame them thus keeping the assumed prisoner alive indefinitely until judgment was passed. By placing a person in this type of stasis, there was absolutely no way for escape or need for sustenance during the imprisonment period. Retrieval of persons placed within The Veil is relatively easy, requiring only a witch or wizard and a rather long rope with specific enchantments placed on it to keep the retriever from falling under the same stasis charm that prisoners were subjected to. _

_For full instruction, complete with steps and illustrations, see page 215._

I stare at the bottom sentence for well over five minutes, blinking sporadically. Retrieval of persons placed within The Veil is relatively easy, it said. I close the book gently, placing it safely back on the bedside table, and fall back onto the scented bed.

This is the way to bring him back, to bring myself back. I tried, Merlin knows I tried so hard but I just can't do this anymore. I hate feeling so… wrong. I need him just to get out of bed every morning. Plus, who else would know where Regulus would hide something important? This could be the lead we need to be able to find Slytherin's locket! Oh god, Sirius.

This is the first time in a very long while that I have allowed myself to think, speak or hear his name. I imagined it would be painful but it doesn't hurt like the ache does. Aunt Petunia always said it wasn't right to cry… God knew best. That's what she always told me after Uncle Vernon had taken the belt to me and left me to starve for days. I wonder if she deluded herself by thinking God wanted me dead. When I was little, I used to cry. I wish I could cry now, Sirius deserved it more than most, but I cant find the tears within the apathy. He took part of me with him and I thought I would never be able to get it back but now…now there is a chance to be whole again. I will bring him out of that wretched Veil if it's the last thing I do.

A few stings of fleeting hope entwine in my chest and I can almost feel The Shadow clamoring to take control, to take me back to the dark place but I can see it now. My light, my hope, my life, my Sirius. Oh yes, I know this is the answer. I can see it! Sirius and I searching for Horcruxes with 'Mione and Ron…Defeating Snake-Face once and for all, living together in a little cottage in the country. It's all so clear to me now! How could I have forgotten? Sirius was always my life ever since I learned the truth about him. It's only fair that I give him his own life in return.

With a renewed vigor, I spring from the bed, take my book from the bedside table and make my way out the door and down the stairs. I can hear voices drifting up to me but I cant be bothered with any of their idle chatter! I finally found the answer we have been looking for.

Entering the sitting room, I find Ron with his head pillowed on Hermione's lap…I suppose they are just as lost as I am.

"Harry!" Hermione yelps, jumping to her feet and pulling me into a hug.

"Oi, Harry! Good to see you, mate" Ron states, sitting up straight on the couch. Hermione finally pulls back and smiles at me hugely.

"Harry, we were beginning to worry" she smiles, pulling me to sit between the two of them.

"I found it" I say proudly, raising the book into their eye line. The look of wonderment on their faces is priceless!

"That's fantastic, Mate! I cant believe it, finally. Well, let us have a look!" Ron exclaims holding his hands in front of him like he is expecting to get a present.

"Ronald, if anyone should look at it, it's me! You wouldn't even know what you were looking at. Give it here, Harry" Hermione teases, taking the book from me with a tug. I manage not to tense up the minute the book leaves my hands but I assist her by finding the correct page anyway.

Hermione's eyes flash as she reads, a frown making itself at home on her face and she keeps giving me sad looks out of the corner of her eyes.

"Harry…I don't think this is what we need" she says tentatively. I grimace and snatch the book back from her with a soft growl. I knew she wouldn't understand. I mean, how could she? She didn't like Sirius from the start! 'He isn't a good role model, Harry' 'He isn't entirely well, Harry' 'You shouldn't get too close to him, Harry'. I love her dearly but she will never understand.

"Hermione, this is exactly what we need. Who else knows Regulus better than him? We can't do this by ourselves. We need an adult, we need help. This is the best plan" I state, giving her a look that dares her to disagree.

"Don't you think that maybe you have alternative motives about this?" she asks, placing her hand on my shoulder.

"Of course I do, 'Mione! But this is a good idea! I know that I've been off lately but that doesn't mean I'm barking. We need him… I need him. Please" I trail off and attempt to make myself look as pathetic as possible. I suppose it's not much of a stretch from what I look like normally these days.

"What exactly are we talking about?" Ron asks, glancing between the two of us and looking very confused.

"Harry has found a possible way of getting Sirius back" Hermione deadpans, emphasizing the word possible as much as one can.

"Really? Wow….it's just…wow" Ron says stupidly, blinking rapidly as though that will cement the idea further in his mind.

"Yes, really. This will work, I just know it will. 'Mione I am doing this with or without you but I really would like your help" I say, gentling my tone a bit near the end.

"Alright, Harry" she sighs, rubbing her temples. "But you must know that this is rather dangerous. What if the book is wrong and you just go jumping into The Veil with a rope tied around your waist and you never come back? You must promise me that if this doesn't work, you will stop fixating on it" Hermione blurts, grabbing my arm tightly in her small hand.

"I promise" I lie, smiling brightly. And the award goes to…

"Good" she sighs in relief, flipping the book to page 215 and beginning to read through the instructions.

"I just can't believe it. This could be exactly what we need, exactly when we need it" Ron states, shaking his head as though to wake himself from a dream.

"I know" I beam.

"That's the first smile I've gotten out of you since…since the end of the school year" he finishes lamely. I know what he wanted to say and I have never loved him more for not saying it.

"Yeah" I sigh. Well, if this works then I know I will be smiling almost nonstop for at least a week.

"Well, from what I can gather from the instructions, the act of retrieval can occur any time but the problem is how exactly we are going to get into the Department of Mysteries in the first place. The act itself is actually very easy; just a couple of Ennervate and restorative charms on the rope" Hermione recites, eyes never leaving the book.

"We could always go visit my dad" Rom says with a smile.

"Ronald! That would hardly be productive! We would be caught by Death Eaters and killed" Hermione exclaims, flailing her arms around wildly.

"I realize that, Hermione. I meant that we could use some polyjuice and go to the Ministry as people who need to see my dad and then sneak down to the Department of Mysteries" Ron says, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, yes well, that might work. We just need three peoples hair" Hermione replies with a slight flush.

"Well, we can use the cloak and just walk onto the street and pluck three hairs. Presto! Our disguises" Ron suggests loudly.

"Something like that" I say, knocking his shoulder slightly and receive an answering knock in return.

"Alright, I suppose you would like to do this as soon as possible, right?" Hermione asks, looking at me squarely in the eyes. I nod eagerly.

"Well I suppose if we can get the hair in time we can try today" she says reluctantly. I bounce up with a whoop and take the stairs two at a time. Reaching Sirius' bedroom where I have been living for the past few weeks, I grab my father's cloak out of my trunk and bound from the room and down the stairs. I don't think I have been this happy since Sirius asked me to live with him in third year.

"Got it" I shout, entering the sitting room rather dramatically.

"Yes, good. Luckily I have some Polyjuice already made so as soon as you and Ronald return with the hairs we can go" Hermione says, reaching for her purple clutch lying on the floor by the couch.

"Excellent" I say, grabbing Ron by the arm and pulling him under the cloak and out the door.

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A/N: Well, this is the first chapter. Let me know what you think. Do you think I should continue this story or totally scrap it and pretend I never posted it? I want to hear what you think so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!! The more reviews I get, the faster I update!!

Oceans of Love,

~Kitty


	2. Chapter 2

Misery Loves Company

Rating: MA – Eventually

Authors Notes: Alright, so I am having a serious writers block when it comes to Love and Potion Blunders so I decided to try a little something new. I would really appreciate some feedback on this…I have no idea where I am going with this but I know eventually it will be Harry/Sirius.

Warnings: This is Slash people!! Don't like, don't read. Simple.

**Misery Loves Company**

**Chapter two**

By: Kitty

Ron and I returned from Grimmauld Place with our three hairs firmly grasped in my fingers. Shrugging out of the invisibility cloak and walking into the parlor, we spot Hermione bent over the book, writing furiously on a new piece of parchment.

"We're back" I call, sitting down in the arm chair opposite her.

"Good, good. We have a few details that need hashing out. One, how on earth are we going to get a wanted felon out of the Ministry, not to mention ourselves. The Polyjuice will have worn off by the time we go to leave and there is anti-apparition barriers on the whole building. Two, the Death Chamber is well within the restricted section of the Department of Mysteries and not easily accessible from the lobby entrance we will be using. Three, if things go unfortunately and we destroy, damage or harm the archway in any way, we will be forced to make a rather quick escape. Any suggestions?" Hermione suggests, breaking off her ramble with a frown. That was actually one of her shorter blathers…

"Well, we can create an unlicensed portkey to get us out. With all the wards around this place, the Ministry will be unable to detect it. And I am more worried about the archway harming us then the other way around" Ron interjects, smiling at Hermione when she glares at him.

"Ronald Weasley, that is not only incredibly illegal but we don't actually know how to create a portkey" she finishes, eyebrows drawing together in concentration.

"Well the entire operation is rather illegal not to mention that Sirius Black is the one who we are performing these illegal acts for and I in fact do know how to make a portkey. Dad taught me" Ron snarks back, looking rather smug.

"Yes, I am aware of the illegality of our actions. Thank you, Ronald. Are you sure you can create a portkey…correctly? I would like to avoid any unintentional trips to Australia" Hermione quips with a smirk.

"Yes, 'Mione. I know what I'm doing" Ron replies. Hermione nods absentmindedly, focusing again on the furious writing from before.

"Right, Ron will make a portkey for us all to make a fantastic escape. I'm more concerned with actually getting to the chamber itself" I intone, glancing between them with both eyebrows raised.

"Er…I came up with the portkey thing. It's someone else's turn" Ron supplies with a sheepish smile.

"Well, we could hide out until the Ministry closes…" I say, pursing my lips in thought.

"That will never work. They use detection spells before closing to ensure no one is still in the building" Hermione states, not looking up from her parchment.

"Right. I suppose we will have to ward the doors into the chamber and hope that no one comes along and notices" I try sarcasticly.

"Yes, I suppose we will" Hermione says rather harshly. I simply raise my eyebrows in question.

"That's a terrible idea, 'Mione" I say with a soft snarl.

"This whole thing is a terrible idea, Harry! We are going to be arrested and turned over to Voldemort all this before we even reach The Veil. Sirius is most likely dead considering that no other book on the planet mentions the Veil as anything other than a doorway to instant death! Even if we manage to get to the Death Chamber and secure the rope and you do go through, you will probably die and then no one will be able to defeat Voldemort and the whole world will be tossed into chaos" Hermione babbles, voice raising in volume with each passing word.

"Don't you get it? I don't care! I would gladly risk my life to save Sirius any day. If this is what I need to do in order to bring him back with even the slightest chance that it might work, then I will" I spit out, most likely turning many shades of red.

"I think I have heard that before. Where….OH YES! WHEN WE RUSHED OFF TO THE DEPARTMENT OF MYSTERIES AND SIRIUS WENT THROUGH THE VEIL IN THE FIRST PLACE" she shouts, standing from the couch and knocking the papers from her lap.

I stare at her, mouth agape, breathing heavily and hearing the words reverberate through my mind with a sickening echo.

" 'Mione that was harsh" Ron gasps, shooting out of his chair to stand beside me. I cant hear anything except the ringing in my ears. Merlin, she's right. I killed him and I know it. That's why I have to do this, I have to save him. I have to tell him how sorry I am, how much I love him. He has to know. I never told him how wonderful he is, how his smile would always brighten up the gloom from this wretched house, or the way his laugh would make me feel like nothing bad could ever happen to me again, or whenever he hugged me and I could smell his hair I would imagine my life beyond all this death…and then he died and I never told him.

"She's right, Ron" I say, my voice devoid of the swirling emotion inside me. "I killed him and that's why I have to do this. I have to fix this" I try through the narrowing of my throat.

"Harry…I'm so sorry. I didn't mean…" she starts, eyes full of remorse.

"Yes you did. Its alright. If you don't want to do this, just give me the notes and I will do it myself. Standing around arguing isn't going to accomplish anything so decide now what you want to do" I bite out, standing at last and glancing between them.

"Well I'm going" Ron states, puffing out his chest and squaring his shoulders. I force myself to stifle a smile at the picture he makes.

"You boys will just mess it all up, so I guess I have to go" Hermione sighs, a small smile tugging at her lips. I nod at her and sit back down, waiting patently for the planning to resume.

"Ron, you will create a portkey before we go. We don't want to get there and not have a way back. 'Mione, you will have to charm the rope while I ward the doors and then someone will tie the rope around me and I will go get Sirius" I start, looking at them encouragingly.

"Yes, that sounds like a good plan. If…when you come back through, hopefully with Sirius, we will activate the portkey once we all touch it and get the hell out of there" Ron finishes, smiling gently.

"Will the wards let us back in with the portkey?" I ask, glancing to Hermione in question.

"Well" she says, sitting up straighter and flicking her hair proudly. "According to the research I did in fourth year about portkeys, words don't have an effect on portkey entry as long as the portkey originated from the warded area" she recites, shuffling the papers into some kind of order.

"Great. Are there anymore loose ends we need to cover before we go?" I ask, leaning back in the chair and crossing my legs at the ankle.

"We never actually decided how on earth we are going to get to the Death Chamber and do anything before the Aurors get to us" Hermione sighs, frowning again.

"You said that the Ministry uses detection spells but Unspeakables and Aurors work all night. How would they be able to tell the difference between intruders and people who are supposed to be there?" I ask, sitting forward in my chair again.

"Err….I don't know. I can't imagine that they could…The spell only tells you if there are people not who the people are. Maybe we can just hang around until the offices close" she replies, rubbing her temples again.

"Well, worse case scenario is that we get caught and arrested. I'm sure Harry has enough cash to make our bail and then we could just skip the trial" Ron pipes in with a wry smile.

"Yes, that does sound like a wonderful plan, Ronald" Hermione deadpans.

"Alright, so we hide somewhere until the offices close and then we make our way to the Death Chamber. Is that the current plan?" I interject, turning the conversation away from their bickering.

"Yes, so it seems" Hermione says, looking through the impressive stack of notes still piled on her lap.

"Wonderful! That about covers it! We should get going if we want to get there today" I blurt, jumping from my chair and bouncing slightly in place.

"Right, I need something to make into a portkey" Ron states, standing as well.

"Use something that we all will be able to touch" Hermione reminds, nose still buried in her notes.

"Thanks, 'Mione" Ron utters under his breath. I cant help but smile at the put out look on his face.

"How about that horseshoe in the kitchen?" Ron suggests.

"Sounds good" I reply, keeping the smile on my face.

"Good" He says and marches off to the kitchen to do his job. Oh Merlin, this is it. We're getting so close. Soon, Sirius will be home and we will be drinking firewhiskey in the library. He will have his arm around me and everything will be right in the world again.

"Harry, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to shout at you like that. You know you weren't responsible for Sirius'…whatever it is" Hermione says with a small frown creasing her forehead.

"I most certainly am responsible for this whole thing and you know it. If I never went charging into the Ministry if the first place then Sirius would never have went after me and got himself trapped inside a bloody drapery" I say, a bitter smile maiming my lips.

"Harry, you know just as well as I do that Sirius was… is very reckless. You cannot allow yourself to feel responsible for his actions" she lectures with her infamous air of rightness sweeping around her.

"All I know is that I have to get him back" I finish, looking her directly in the eyes. She must be aware that I am just as stubborn as she is.

"If there is a way, we will" she smiles before looking back down at the heap of parchment.

"Right, portkey made" Ron says, entering the room with a sweeping gesture.

"Excellent job, Ronald. Everyone clear on the plan?" Hermione asks, smile blooming on her face.

"Yes, lets go" I say, making a few steps towards the door.

"OK, do you have the portkey?" she ensures, and at Ron's nod she smiles and puts her coat on.

"We can Apparate outside the Ministry as soon as we past the wards" I chime in as I open the door. Everyone files out and steps onto the street with tentative steps. Hermione hands us all our flask of Polyjuice and we swallow most of it with a large shudder and a sour expression. Feeling the changes take effect, we look at each other and nod reassuringly.

"On the count of three. One, Two, Three" Hermione chants, grabs our hands and disapparates with a crack.

After the rather unfortunate sensation of being squeezed through a Laboratory beaker, we arrive outside the Ministry amidst the bustling traffic of employees. Disentangling our hands, we make our way to the reception desk where a bubbly blond is twirling her hair and looking bored.

"Excuse us, we are here to see Author Weasley with the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts office" Ron explains, smiling pleasantly with his borrowed face.

"Third Floor, third door to your left" the blonde intones, not looking up from her Witch Weekly hiding below the lip of the desk. Glancing at each other, we scurry away before she could ask any questions. We skirt to the elevator and press the button for the ninth floor and I cross my fingers at my side. Please don't let anyone stop us. Oh Merlin, please let us get through this without another catastrophe.

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A/N: Here is the second chapter for you all. Sorry to leave off there but I am falling asleep at the keyboard and need to get some sleep. I will post again tomorrow. PLEASE REVIEW PEOPLE! I need them to survive and I wont post anymore if I don't hear anything from you all. I don't want to post something that no one likes!! So PLEASE REVIEW, I know I'm begging here!!

Oceans of Love

~Kitty


	3. Chapter 3

Misery Loves Company

Rating: MA – Eventually

Authors Notes: Little shout out to Joss Whedon in this chapter. Those of you who are familiar with him might recognize it but if you don't its not a big deal. I am a huge Whedonist and this is my little way of showing my never ending love and support.

Warnings: This is Slash people!! Don't like, don't read. Simple.

**Misery Loves Company**

**Chapter three**

By: Kitty

"Level Nine, Department of Mysteries" an automated voice intones as the elevator doors slides open.

I am the first to walk out of the elevator, letting my feet carry me down the stretching corridor. I don't have to look behind me to know Ron and Hermione are following. Our footsteps echo eerily against the floor as we wind though the maze-like hallways to the deeper areas of the level. I thought I would be nervous or even scared of my own death but at this moment all I can feel is a strange tug around my shoulders that is leading me.

A familiar door looms in front of me and I stop short. Why am I here? I am supposed to be hiding for a while. It's too soon!

"Harry, don't you think we should find somewhere else to wait?" Ron asks, breaking the silence that entombed us since we got on the elevator. I began shaking my head as soon as my name was past his lips.

"No, we need to wait in here" I reply absently, hand stroking down the door without my permission.

"Your acting strangely, Harry. Maybe we should just…" Hermione starts, grabbing me by the elbow and tugging gently.

"NO! We need to wait in here, Hermione" I roar, tearing my arm from her grasp in the process.

"Alright, fine. We can wait in here" She recants, stepping back beside Ron almost instantly. I cannot turn my head and even give her so much as an apologetic glance; all I could do was continue staring at the door I have seen so often in my dreams. Even recently I can still see it, see everything that happened that night.

I never see it the way it actually happened anymore. Don't get me wrong, I used to see him fall every night and every night it killed me. I would see the elegant way he arched back into the Veil and the mingled look of shock and just the hint of his previous mirth as he mocked his cousin. Some nights he would even say my name as he fell, those were the worse nights. Now though, I always save him. I make him leave with me, or I push him out of the way at the last second and sometimes I even take the hit for him and fall into The Veil myself. Hundreds of different times, hundreds of different ways but it always ends the same. Every night I save him.

"Mate, we should get out of sight. Someone could walk by at any moment" Ron cuts in, sufficiently ripping me from my thoughts.

"Yeah, alright" I reply, my hand closing over the handle and turning slowly. The door opens without a sound and the Prophesy Room fills my vision. The air is stale with broken glass and dust, there are orbs missing from the shelves but all the evidence that a battle went on here is gone.

"Its strange being back, isn't it?" Hermione asks from right beside me. Neither Ron or I speak but the response is there in the tense set of Ron's shoulders and in the clenching of my jaw.

The three of us walk between the shelving, glancing briefly at the names adorning each remaining orb before moving on to the next. Poor souls, I bet most of them don't even know that they have a prophesy made about them…like I didn't.

"Should we just duck behind a bit of shelving then?" Ron asks, gazing about and looking rather lost.

"I think we should find a corner and huddle together for the hour until the offices close. We'll be less likely to be seen" Hermione suggests, making her way to one of the many corners in the Prophesy Room.

"Sounds like a plan" I state, following behind her slowly. We squeeze into the small space and make ourselves as comfortable as possible for the remainder of the hour.

"Harry, when I was reading the instructions… well it's not quite as simple as the original passage led us to believe. For this to work, you must be totally focused on Sirius when you pass through the Veil. You must think only of him otherwise the magic wont know who to send you to. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of people in the same situation as Sirius but you mustn't think about them. Focus entirely on Sirius. Do you understand?" Hermione instructs quietly, looking at me intensely. I have a feeling that something very bad would happen if I don't think only of Sirius.

"Yes, thank you. I understand" I reply wearily. I haven't slept well in so long.

"Good. I think that this should go rather smoothly if the Veil does what this book suggests. I cant say I'm not concerned but I've been with you all through this and I see how… broken you are. I told myself that if I could ever find a way to help you, I would do it. Well, here we are and I finally realized what happened. You fell in love with him, didn't you?" she asks, staring sadly into my eyes. To say that I am shocked is an amazing understatement. In love with Sirius? Me? My Godfather? Sure, I love him…I loved him almost as soon as I met him. I suppose I do like to hug him a lot, I like the way he smells and I want to spend as much time with him as possible. I was absolutely crushed when he went through the Veil. I mean, it's Sirius! He was the first person ever to escape from Azkaban, he evaded the Ministry and Dementors for three years and yet he always found a way to help me when I needed it. Funny, kind, smart, loyal, wonderful Sirius. I adore him, miss him and need him with everything inside me. So the question remains…Am I in love with Sirius?

"I don't know. Maybe" I sigh, bringing my fingers up to massage my temples.

"It's alright to be in love with him, Mate" Ron supplies, looking very awkward with the words that came out of his mouth.

"Pardon?" I ask.

"He didn't raise you, he isn't your blood and he's a decent bloke. Sure, it would have been nice to tell your best mate that you were gay but… The heart wants who the heart wants" he finishes, smiling crookedly.

"Ronald, I am so proud of you! That was very mature" Hermione praises, patting the top of his hand.

"Yeah, well…It's not like the other things are important in our world" he quips sheepishly.

"What do you mean 'the other things'? What other things are there?" I ask in mild alarm. It isn't enough that he is my Godfather and absolutely way too gorgeous to want me. Wait a minute! Since when did I consider Sirius gorgeous? Handsome, certainly…but gorgeous? Oh hell, who am I kidding? He is an Adonis among mortals. Even after Azkaban. Looks like I'm gay after all…

"In the muggle world, the age difference might be considered a problem…but here, well, it's not such a big deal. I mean, we can live up to three times the muggle life expectancy so an age difference would have to be sixty years or more before it became a real problem" Hermione explains, glancing to Ron for confirmation. At his nod, she smiles and pats my shoulder gently before facing forward and crossing her hands in her lap.

Oh. I didn't even think about the age difference. Merlin, he went to school with my dad! Now I know he wont ever want me. He always says how like my dad I am, how like his best friend I am. Doesn't it just describe how messed up I am that I don't care that he went to school with my dad except for the fact that he wont want me because of it.

"Its six o'clock. The offices are closing now and we should be able to make our way to the Death Chamber in a few minutes. Is everyone clear on the plan?" Hermione asks, shifting slightly in her seat. Looks like I'm not the only one who's a bit anxious.

Ron and I nod, glancing towards the door leading to the chamber with trepidation.

"Good. Harry, you must promise me that you will come back to us. We cant do this without you" Hermione pleads, pursing her lips as though to stave off any further words.

"I promise that I will do everything I can to come back… but if something should happen to me, you need to get Lupin. Tell him everything and let him help you. You're right, you cant do this by yourselves" I request, frowning to show the seriousness of the situation should I not come back.

"Not that we will need it, but it's always good to have a contingency plan" Hermione states with a polite nod of her head.

"Is it time?" Ron asks impatiently, bouncing a bit on the floor.

"Good as any" I reply, standing hastily and helping the other two to their feet.

Silently, we make our way between the rows of prophesies. I can feel the coldness of the floor beneath my trainers, the small gusts of conditioned air flowing past my fingertips, the tightness in my chest. Everything is clear again; I can see and hear everything around me. My heartbeat thunders as we approach the chamber door and my palms itch to grasp the handle and swing the entry open.

I open the massive door slowly and walk with hesitant steps to the middle of the room, to step lightly onto the dais.

"Ward the doors, Harry" Ron reminds me softly. I nod, grasping my wand in my right hand, and point it at each door with the proper incantation. Hermione is muttering softly, kneeling on the stone floor over the rope. Everything is moving so slowly, like we are all submerged in molasses. I know it's just me, Ron and Hermione are looking flustered as though things are moving too fast for them.

"Harry, I need to tie this around your waist and then we will anchor it to both of us to ensure proper tension in the rope" Hermione explains, her voice uncommonly loud in the empty stone room. I lift my arms a bit and allow her to fasten the rope around my middle, looping it several times.

"Right. Er… be careful, Mate" Ron declares, slapping my back in a friendly manner.

"Come back" Hermione demands, face a mixture of worry and determination.

"See you soon" I say, smiling tightly and nodding.

I watch them wind the rope around themselves and then each other before I turn to face the Veil. I always had the fleeting notion that once this whole war was over, I would return here and join Sirius wherever he was but now… I just hope the book was right. I couldn't stand it if I abandoned everyone when they needed me most. Get a grip, Potter! You are a Gryffindor, damn it! Gather your courage and stop acting like a whining, cry-Hufflepuff.

With a deep breath, I begin to step towards the Veil and allow my mind to become lost in memories of Sirius Orion Black. How terrible he looked that night in the Shrieking Shack, how his eyes shone when he asked me to live with him, "The ones we love never really leave us, you can always find them… in here", his reassurances during the Triwizard Tournament, how magnificent he looked when I finally saw him again at Grimmauld Place, the way his hair smelt, the way his arms felt wrapped around me, how sad he looked when he talked about his family, the way his laugh sounded, the way Padfoot's fur felt under my fingers, the sweet way he would smile when he was proud of me…

Darkness, whispering voices, fluttering all over my skin, air whooshing past my face and then nothing. Absolute stillness in the overwhelming darkness. I move my arm to ensure that I did not fall victim to the stasis charms and find it mobile. I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding and look for any source of light. There, to the right! It's a soft glow emanating from…something. Its too far to make out clearly. Guess that's where I need to go…

I step over the nothingness, gliding effortlessly towards the glow. A figure is emerging from the formless light. I can see a person encased in the brightness and I know without having to think about it that it's Sirius. The stasis is trying to take me, but Hermione's spells are strong and my will too fierce.

Finally reaching him, I reach out my hand to trace his beloved face. His skin is flawless and waxy but it's his! Oh Sirius, I have waited so very long to see you again. I fumble, trying to grasp his hand in my own. His limbs are stiff with the spell but I manage alright. Gathering him close to me, I glide back to where I came from and allow myself to think of my friends on the other side. I don't exactly realize what I'm doing until I feel a strong tug around my shoulders again. I hold Sirius' hand tighter, unwilling to accidentally leave him behind.

We whiz through the darkness without as much as a twitch from Sirius. Faster and faster until I feel the weight of gravity around me and we tumble to the floor in a heap.

"HARRY" I hear somewhere to the left of us but I pay it no mind.

"Oh Merlin, he did it. It's Sirius!" A male voice mutters close to us and I try to focus my eyes, shake the lethargy from my mind. Sirius, Sirius is here with me. GET UP FOR SIRIUS!

I squint up at the two blurry figures hovering over me and slowly the familiar forms of 'Mione and Ron come into focus.

"Did I do it?" I croak, looking to my right where Sirius is lying.

"Yes, Harry. You've done it but we need to get you both back to Grimmauld. Grab onto this, alright?" Hermione says, shoving something into the palm of my hand. Instinctively, I grab Sirius' hand in mine again and place it on the old horseshoe. With a hook in my navel we are back in the recognizable sitting room.

We made it back! Thank Merlin!

"Harry, can you stand?" Ron asks, and with my nod he helps me up and away from Sirius.

"Herm, why isn't he waking up?" I blurt, staring at his prone form on the floor.

"We just need to reverse the spell. Ennervate!" she says firmly with a flourish of her wand. Yellow light erupts from the carved wood and hits Sirius in the center of his chest. His middle lifts off the carpet and with a thud he lands back on the floor.

With a great shudder, his chest begins to rise with a deep breath and I can hear a choked sob coming from somewhere. Oh, it's me. I throw myself back onto the ground and place his head in my lap. I want the first thing he sees when he wakes up to be me.

With a great effort, swirling blue eyes flutter open. He snaps his eyes around him, taking in his surroundings, before locking onto mine. His chest sucks in another deep breath and I smile gently at him.

"Harry" he sighs, shutting his eyes for a long moment before latching on to my own again.

"It's alright, Sirius. Your home" I supply, stroking my fingers through the silken black curls soothingly. It seems to relax him briefly but after a minute he shoots into a sitting position and whips around to face me.

"What the bloody hell happened?! Is everyone alright? Oh Merlin! Are you alright? Oh Harry, I got there as soon as I could. Did that git Malfoy hurt you? Godric help him if he did. Ron! Hermione! Are you alright? I saw the Death Eaters had you but I was a bit pre-occupied, yeah?" he rushes out, grabbing onto my forearms tightly.

"Siri, everyone is fine. Calm down" I soothe, anchoring him by grabbing both his hands.

"Why do you look like that?" he exclaims, blinking rapidly.

"Like what?" I ask, frowning with the unintentional insult.

"I dunno. You're different. What happened?" he explains with a shrug, sharp sapphire eyes boring into my own.

"Almost a year and a half happened, mate" Ron blurts, rejoining the conversation.

"WHAT?" he roars, ripping his gaze from mine to stare at Ron incredulously.

"Um…What Ronald meant to say is you had a bit of an accident back at the Ministry and we were just now able to… er… help you" Hermione says gently, elbowing Ron in the ribs sharply.

"Remember that creepy Veil?" I ask and at his nod I look pointedly at him. His eyes widen comically and then snap shut. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he grimaces and reopens his eyes to meet mine again.

"A year and a half, eh? Let me look at you…" he sighs and places his hand under my chin, turning my head left and right before stopping again in the middle.

"Sirius, I'm so sorry it took me so long. But with Dumbledore and the pensive and The Half-Blood Prince… I'm just so bloody sorry" I blather, horrified to feel my eyes filling with tears.

"Hey, now. None of that! Come 'ere" he coos, bringing me into a powerful hug that freezes the breath in my lungs and forces a sob from my throat.

"Now what's all this about Dumbledore?"

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A/N: Terribly sorry for the delay! Well, no matter, I got it out for you all anyways! I hope you've been enjoying this story so far. If you do….REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!! Please. Tee hee. If you have something you would like thrown in or have some constructive criticism for me, I would love to hear from you! Thanks to everyone who reviewed! The story should be getting a bit more romantic soon but I planned this to be a slow, gentle relationship… so not a lot of steamy sex scenes for a while. I do believe I have rambled enough for one chapter, so REVIEW PLEASE!!

Oceans of Love,

~Kitty


	4. Chapter 4

Misery Loves Company

Rating: MA – Eventually

Authors Notes: This story will encompass the entire seventh book from the time spent at Grimmauld Place to the Battle for Hogwarts with one exception. Siri is alive and will eventually be with Harry. Ginny can sit and spin for all I care and will not be included in this story except in passing. Hope you will allow a few artistic liberties I will have to take to make the plot fit with my revisions. Thanks for reading! REVIEW PLEASE!

Warnings: Harry/Sirius. This is Slash people!! Don't like, don't read. Simple.

"Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one's life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one's side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart it's pages betrayed the rhythm and the music; perhaps . . . perhaps . . . love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath." – Lucy Maud Montgomery

**Misery Loves Company**

**Chapter Four**

By: Kitty

"Now what's all this about Dumbledore?" Sirius asks as soon as my breathing regulated and I was mortified to notice that I have soaked his jacket with my tears.

"He sort of… died" Hermione answers, shifting her weight nervously and chewing her bottom lip.

"Died? Are you sure? Come on, it's Dumbledore!" Sirius exclaims, convulsively clutching me tighter to his chest.

"I saw it. He got hit with the Killing Curse and fell off the Astronomy Tower" I mumble into his shoulder. God, he smells divine. I don't ever want to move from this spot. Oh, Sirius, I missed you so. At my explanation, he simply tugs me fully into his lap and thrusts his nose into my hair.

"Fuck, Harry. When…Who…I don't…Are you OK?" he rambles, petting my hair and neck unconsciously.

"June, Snape and I am much better now" I answer, stroking my hands down his back in what I hope is a soothing manner. Merlin, I feel like I'm back in Care of Magical Creatures, trying to tame a wild animal.

"SNAPE?" he roars, looking between Ron and Hermione desperately before letting his head fall onto my shoulder with a groan.

"Yes, Profe…Snape killed Dumbledore" Ron states with a grimace.

"Always knew that bugger was evil" Sirius mutters with a bitter chuckle.

"Me too! Always was a greasy bastard. I mean, now that we know he was The Half-Blood Prince it's so obvious. He created that nasty Sectumsempra spell and some really vile potions" Ron says with an angry expression.

"Sectumsempra? Never heard of that one. What does it do?" Sirius inquires, lifting his head from my shoulder.

"Sirius, perhaps now isn't the time to be talking about this. You just got back and you should rest. I know Harry should be resting" Hermione suggests with a stern look. Oh. She's good. Thanks to Molly, everyone knows that the key to Sirius is making him take care of me. Damn women and their manipulations.

"What do you say to a little kip, eh?" Sirius asks, squeezing the back of my neck to get my attention.

"… Well, the thing is, I've sort of been using your room lately and all my stuff is in there and I don't know if I can sleep in another room anymore…" I blather out before shutting my lips with a small click, feeling the heat rise to my face.

"Why were you sleeping in my room?" Sirius questions, before snapping his mouth shut and nodding sadly. "We can just share for a bit, yeah?"

"Um…OK" I reply, more blood rushing to my cheeks. This is all just too good to be true. Did Sirius always touch me so much? Well, far be it from me to complain about this new development. My train of thought is thoroughly derailed by the sudden jerk of being lifted into Sirius' arms like I weigh bloody nothing. I manage an indignant squawk before falling silent with one stern look from Sirius.

Sirius carries me up the stairs to his bedroom like he was not hefting one hundred pounds of Harry around bridal style. Again, not that I'm complaining. It's not everyday that I get to be this close to him. It feels like eons ago that I found the passage I have been hoping to find for over a year. With a great bounce, he drops me onto his bed and follows almost immediately.

"I gathered that it was probably best to just humor her" he announces, relaxing into his side of the bed and folding his hands behind his head.

"Sirius…" I start, not exactly sure what I want to say but knowing that I need to say it.

"That would be me" he declares with a smirk, turning his head to face me. My face must reflect my somber attitude because the smirk melts off his lips to be replaced with a gentle smile.

"Gods, you have no idea… I'm just so…You're here and for so long now… I know I'm not making any sense but I… You mean the world to me and I lost you, we all thought you were dead and I trashed Dumbledore's office, I cried and cried but you never came back and I couldn't feel you anywhere and you were gone and I just… I screwed up and you fell and I never hated myself more because it's my fault" I force out, ripping the words from my mind with great difficulty as dry, wrenching sobs break from my throat and I cant summon enough dignity to care. He needs to feel how much he means to me, I have to show him. He frowns and tugs me into the circle of his arms roughly, pushing my head into the space between his neck and shoulder and carding his fingers through my hair.

"Everything is fine now, Love. You should know that there is nowhere that I wouldn't go for you, nothing I wouldn't do. I've never been any good at saying things but I tried so hard to show you how much you mean to me. I obviously didn't do a very good job if you think for one second that I would blame you for any of this. So, let me make this as clear as I can. Until I met you, I didn't know a person could love someone as much as I love you" he croaks, voice breaking near the end. Another sob tears out of my throat and I clutch onto his shirt as tight as I can. I wonder if he knows that he has just given me everything I have ever wanted.

Merlin, this is so humiliating! I can't seem to stop crying ever since Sirius got here. It's just that I have been carrying his death around for so long and now he's here and I can feel his breaths ruffle my hair, smell his sweet skin, hear his heartbeat under my ear and I don't know what do anymore. Someone just told me they love me for the first time and all I can do is blubber all over him.

"Stay" I choke out, pulling myself as close to his body as possible.

"Of course" he replies, tightening his hands in my hair for a brief moment before soothing the errant strands again. "Just rest now, love".

"Sirius?" I start, bringing my face away from his neck to look into the swirling grey orbs that have haunted me for so long.

"Harry" he says, touching his forehead to mine and sweeping clinging tears from my cheeks.

"Love you too" I blurt, pinching my lips together anxiously and allowing my eyes to fall closed at the look of absolute wonder whirling in his glimmering depths. I breathe in deeply and the scent of him surrounds me so perfectly that I have to look at him again.

"Love you always, kitten" he coos, fingers curling into the hairs at my temples and closing his eyes with a sigh.

My eyes fall shut and for the first time in months I drift into a peaceful sleep.

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"Harry" a voice whispers into my ear, dissolving the delicate weaving of sleep.

"Hmm?" I mumble, snuggling down into the warmth of the bed.

"You need to wake up, kitten" the voice persists, and something nuzzles against the fleshy spot behind my ear. Mmm that's nice. Kitten? Who calls me kitten? SIRIUS!

"Sirius!" I shout, snapping my eyes open frantically and try to focus on the blur next to me.

"Hush, love. I'm here, right here next to you" the voice, now identified as Sirius, coos.

"You stayed" I sigh, resting my head back on the pillow and smiling serenely.

"I said I would, didn't I?" he replies, stroking the fringe back from my eyes and placing my glasses back on my face. I don't remember taking them off…I guess Sirius must have done it once I fell asleep.

"Thank you" I breathe, finding his hand and gripping it firmly in my own.

"My pleasure, love. Now though, you need to wake up. You slept all night and Hermione is nagging me to get you up for breakfast" he chuckles, pressing a light kiss to my forehead.

"Do I have to?" I whine, pouting and widening my eyes pathetically.

"Yes, Kitten. Do you want Hermione storming in here and screeching for ages?" he threatens, rubbing my neck with the pads of his fingers.

"Eh, no thank you. I'm up" I grimace, sitting up with a stretch and a yawn.

"Excellent choice" he says, his bark-like laughter ringing out.

After a short shower, a good brushing of my teeth and new clothes, Sirius and I make our way downstairs to the kitchen where Kreature is frying eggs and bacon on the stove.

"Since when does Kreature do anything around here?" Sirius pouts, looking at me with wide eyes.

"Since I gave him something that once belonged to your brother" I reply, sitting down at the narrow table with a slight plop.

"Bloody elf was always doing things for Reg. The bastard" Sirius gripes, pulling a face and reclining in the chair next to mine.

"Kreature is so very… pleased to see Lord Black back home" the little elf simpers, placing a steaming plate down in front of both of us. Lord Black? Have to ask him about that later.

"Yeah, right" he scoffs, barely sparing the elf a glance. Hermione will not be pleased when she comes down…

"Good morning, you two. Did you sleep well?" Hermione greets, flouncing down the stairs and smiling pleasantly. Speak of the devil and the devil appears, indeed.

"Spectacular, actually" I reply, grinning at her in the way I used to before all this war got in the way. God, I'm deliriously happy this morning. It's so wonderful to have Sirius back! Maybe 'Mione was right and I did fall in love with him, not that I will ever tell him if I did.

"That's great, Harry" Hermione exclaims and pats my shoulder. From my peripheral vision, I notice Sirius' narrowed eyes and slight frown but I choose not to mention it and just continue to eat. As soon as 'Mione steps away from me, Sirius is grinning and throwing his arm around my shoulders.

"So what should we do today, kitten?" Sirius asks, leaning the side of his head against my shoulder with wide eyes and a mischievous smirk.

"Well, considering the absolute lack of information on Slytherin's locket I think that we should move on to Hufflepuff's cup or perhaps identifying another one since we have no idea what we're looking for" Hermione interjects with a sour expression.

"What in Godric's name are you talking about?" Sirius blurts, blinking rapidly at her.

"Horcruxes, Siri. That's what's keeping Voldemort alive" she explains, not noticing the curl of his lip at his nickname.

"Yes, I do know what a Horcrux is but what I don't know is why you are talking about cups and lockets" he clarifies with a glare aimed at Hermione.

"Well, according to Dumbledore, Voldie would use historically significant items to house parts of his soul. Like objects once belonging to the founders of Hogwarts. We know that he stole Hufflepuff's cup soon after he graduated but other then that all we have is Slytherin's locket. Well, I mean we have the ones that are already destroyed but we still have at least four left" I hastily explain, taking the focus off of Hermione.

"I see, and why weren't you able to locate the locket?" Sirius asks, looking only at me. I wonder why he's mad at 'Mione?

"Well the last person to have it is dead and no one knows what happened to it after he died" I say, shrugging in a hopefully dismissive manner. I don't think Sirius is at all ready to talk about Regulus' Death Eater days.

"Who was the last person to have it?" he inquires, lifting an elegant eyebrow. Damn it, there goes my considerate notion of not mentioning his little brother.

"Er… well…." I start, glancing to Hermione pleadingly. All I get in response is a shrug from Hermione and a second raised eyebrow from Sirius. Loads of help around here, I see.

"Regulus" I finish, looking down at the patterns ingrained in the ancient table.

"Why would my brother be in possession of a Horcrux?" Sirius exclaims, blinking again.

"He sort of stole it from Voldemort and hid it somewhere until he found out how to destroy it… Unfortunately, he was killed before he could discover the secret to Horcrux destruction and he never told anyone where he hid the locket" I explain as gently as I can.

"Reg. switched sides? Wow, didn't know he had it in him" Sirius says with a melancholy expression I can't identify. Maybe he wishes they could have reconciled before his death. Poor man, he has lost so much.

"It would seem so. Would you like to see his note?" Hermione asks, rejoining the conversation in a rather transparent attempt to soothe whatever pissed Sirius off.

"Yeah, I would" he replies, looking at me with a small smile. Looks like he isn't soothed. A chair scrapes the floor as Hermione leaves the table to retrieve Regulus' note.

"Are you sure you want to do this now? It can wait for a few days" I suggest, placing my hand on his shoulder.

"No, the war isn't going to wait until I've settled in. Plus, I don't even remember The Veil so there's no real reason not to just jump back into the fray" he chuckles darkly.

"If you're sure. Well, do you know where Regulus would hide something this important?" I inquire, smiling encouragingly.

"He used to hide everything he really liked behind the portrait of Phineas Nigellus" he supplies with a shrug just as Hermione re-enters the kitchen with Regulus' note clutched in her tiny hands.

"Here we are" she announces cheerfully. Sirius takes the note from her with a stiff nod and begins to read. As soon as he places the note on the table, I take it up and fold it into my jacket pocket.

"It took us a while to figure out who R.A.B was, but once we did I was convinced that the locket was here" I explain, looking to Sirius for some sign that he was listening. To my delight, his eyes are clear and he is looking thoughtful.

"I would suggest looking behind that portrait. No one but the two of us know about the safe behind it…except maybe the man himself" he replies with a smirk. I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. I have never been so grateful for an adult then I am to have him here. For Godric's sake, don't you dare cry again!

"Thank you, Sirius" I say, allowing my sincerity to saturate my voice. I receive a strong squeeze in response followed by a kiss to my temple. Merlin, I am so in love with him. How did I not notice before?

"Come on, kitten. Lets you and I take a peek, yeah?" he suggests, tightening his arm around me briefly before standing up and holding his hand out to help me up. Placing my hand in his, I give Hermione an apologetic glance and stand up with Sirius. I adore the way he said 'you and I' as though it's the most natural thing in the world.

"Hey, where did Ron get off too?" I ask, stopping in the doorway to the kitchen.

"Still sleeping, I think" she replies with a prominent blush staining her cheeks. Ah, I guess she kept him up for a while last night. Can I just say…EW.

"Coming Harry?" Sirius asks, turning from his spot near the banister.

"Course" I answer, giving him a blinding smile and following him up the stairs to go Horcrux Hunting once again. Only this time, I have Sirius with me which makes all the difference.

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A/N: Here we have the fourth installment of Misery Loves Company! To your left you will see the construction of the fanfiction in its early stages and to your right you will notice that the author is hard at work each night to get chapters out for her beloved readers!! I truly hope that you are enjoying this story so far! It's still a WIP so if you have any requests, I will do my best to get them into the story for you! PLEASE REVIEW! IT ONLY TAKES A FEW SECONDS AND IT WILL MAKE ME SO HAPPY I MIGHT JUST WRITE YOU A STEAMY SEX SCENE!! Thank you to everyone who did review, I love hearing from you all!

Oceans of Love,

~Kitty


	5. Chapter 5

Misery Loves Company

Rating: MA – Eventually

Authors Notes: A bit of this chapter was taken almost verbatim from Deathly Hallows. I just had to add Sirius in there. Hehe.

This story will encompass the entire seventh book from the time spent at Grimmauld Place to the Battle for Hogwarts with one exception. Siri is alive and will eventually be with Harry. Ginny can sit and spin for all I care and will not be included in this story except in passing. Hope you will allow a few artistic liberties I will have to take to make the plot fit with my revisions. Thanks for reading! REVIEW PLEASE!

Warnings: Harry/Sirius. This is Slash people!! Don't like, don't read. Simple.

"Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one's life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one's side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart it's pages betrayed the rhythm and the music; perhaps . . . perhaps . . . love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath." – Lucy Maud Montgomery

**Misery Loves Company**

**Chapter Five**

By: Kitty

"Absolutely not!" Hermione shrieks, stomping her foot on the parlor floor. We have been fighting about this for exactly 27 minutes already and we are just going around in circles. Hermione says no, Sirius says yes, I try to placate them both and Ron sits there on the couch like a wanker.

"What are you going to do, Hermione? You can't keep him here if he is determined to go" I say reasonably, pleading with my eyes for her to drop it.

"Whose side are you on? I though you would be the first person to fight to keep Sirius from going back to the Ministry" she glowers, narrowing her eyes menacingly.

"This isn't about Harry and this is especially not about you! I am a grown person and I am quite capable of deciding what I will and wont do" Sirius hisses through clenched teeth, stepping between Hermione and I.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Ron bellows, leaping from his seat on the couch and joining the argument for the first time. Finally! If I had to endure another round of 'I am a grown up and you are a meddling know-it-all', I would have just screamed.

"Ronald, you can't honestly support…" Hermione starts only to be cut off by Ron's raised hand.

"It doesn't matter what I think. Sirius has made up his mind to go to the Ministry and get the locket from Umbridge and that's what he's going to do. All that is left to do is to ensure that no one is captured while we are all there" Ron states softly, for once not raising his voice.

"Right" I say stiffly, a bit disappointed that Hermione was unable to convince him to stay behind. I mean, its not that I want to keep him from doing something that he feels he has to do… its just that I could never forgive myself if something happened to him again. Rubbing my forehead tiredly, I slump against the wall with an air of resignation.

"Harry…?" Sirius asks, looking at me and furrowing him brow in concern. Crap, I guess I have to work on not showing my emotions. I was trying to make him think that I was way more supportive and a lot less clingy then I actually am.

"So then are we going with the Polyjuice idea again?" I inquire, widening my eyes innocently and glancing between the other three in the room. Come on, Potter, try to be cool. Sirius will never want to spend time with a worrying, clingy godson.

"Not so fast, Kitten. Would you two excuse us for a moment?" Sirius chirps, grabbing my arm and pulling me into the kitchen with a cheery smile for Ron and Hermione.

"Really, I'm…" I start, plastering a smile across my face.

"Completely freaking out" Sirius finishes with a smirk, leaning against the counter and raising his eyebrow in challenge.

"A bit" I confess, slouching against the counter next to him with a long sigh. Sirius pries my arm from its crossed position against my chest and threads our fingers together. This past week, Sirius and I have completely scoured this house looking for that damned locket and all through the unpleasantness of Horcrux Hunting we have managed to become closer than ever. We both take every opportunity to touch, hug or otherwise come into contact with the other. I think Sirius is just so happy that he isn't stuck here by himself and add in the fact that his Godson, who happens to be his new obsession since his escape from Azkaban, is stuck here with him and you get one touchy feely Sirius.

"Hey, look at me" he says softly, pulling on my hand a bit to get me to face him. I allow myself to be positioned with my right hip against the counter, facing Sirius, but refusing to meet his eyes.

"Harry…" he coaxes, bending down to capture my gaze with his own. I shut my eyes petulantly, biting my lower lip to stave off any unnecessary declarations of undying love or embarrassing pleading.

"Do you trust me?" he asks gently, touching his forehead to mine and taking my other hand. I snap my eyes open in shock and at his pointed look, I nod. Apparently that isn't enough for him because he just raises his eyebrow and waits.

"You know I do" I rasp, lowering my gaze to the filthy floor. Someone really needs to mop in here.

"If I promised you that I won't leave you for a long, long time, would it help?" he solicits with a gentle smile on his lips.

"Not at all" I snap, letting out a suffering sigh between us.

"I didn't think so. Tell me what you want me to do, Harry. Do you want me to stay here and let you go traipsing off to the Ministry while I sit here with my thumbs up my arse? I don't want to let you out of my sight let alone go on a mission that could get you arrested or handed over to Voldemort" he rants, dropping one of my hands to run his fingers through his hair.

"I know, and I'm not going to make a scene and beg you to stay here. I just can't lose you again, Sirius. I wont survive it" I croak, using my free hand to pinch the bridge of my nose. Why cant I just be normal around him. I am not some blubbery, watery girly man! I often pride myself on being rather resilient, but whenever I'm around Sirius I just turn into an absurdly emotional person. Do not cry again, you big girl.

Sirius brings his hand to my hair and cards his fingers through the strands soothingly. I turn my head towards the caress, desperate for any touch Sirius bestows. I am the most pathetic excuse for a man I have ever known… except maybe Malfoy.

"I couldn't survive if anything happened to you and I wasn't there to do anything to help you" he replies, continuing that blissful hair stroking I have become so dependent on lately.

"There's nothing for it, it seems. We'll have to make a suicide pact" I snark with a wry grin. Sirius lets out his bark-like laugh and tugs me into a tight hug, thrusting his nose into my hair with a great inhalation.

"We could always just let Ron and Hermione go while we head out for a pint down at the pub" he quips, one hand slipping up the back of my shirt to stroke at bare skin. I shudder and picture Mrs. Weasley naked in order to calm my raging libido. It is, after all, not easy to sleep next to an insanely hot man and not get any. I can't even wank in the shower because Sirius seems to think that its appropriate to brush his teeth and take a piss while I fight helplessly with a very persistent erection.

"Yes, that does sound like the perfect solution" I sigh into his neck, rubbing my face against the rough facial hair I encounter. Who would have thought that I would find stubble arousing? Then again, if Sirius is involved, I cannot even look at him while he eats. Everything that man does is obscenely hot. Oh, for Merlin's sake! Get yourself under control, this is a very serious (Tee hee) situation!

"Harry, I need to do this. I have to be there to protect you or I will go absolutely mad" he exclaims, scoring his nails into my exposed skin in his desperation.

"You already won, I just want you to make me a promise" I say, pulling back slightly to look into his eyes.

"Sure, kitten" he replies with a smile.

"Promise me you won't do anything stupid! Don't you give me that look! You know exactly what I'm talking about. I don't want to see you chucked back in Azkaban or worse" I explain, searching his blue depths for understanding.

"I promise" he pouts, pulling me back fully into his arms. Don't kiss him, you ridiculous sod. Alright, this whole thing is just an exercise in self control. You need to just be happy with whatever Sirius is willing to give you and not force yourself on the poor man.

"Good, now let's get back out there before they send a search party" I say with a large smile, grabbing his hand and pulling him behind me.

Sirius and I reenter the parlor only to find Hermione and Ron arguing in quiet hisses very close to each other. Ah, I cant imagine that this is going to end any time soon. Women have an uncanny ability to hold things over your head for years.

"Ahem" Sirius coughs, smile stuck onto his face and his fingers still firmly laced with mine.

"Oh, we didn't see you both there. Is Sirius still going?" Ron asks, blush clashing horribly with his hair.

"Yes, I am. You three talk amongst yourselves while I run upstairs for a minute" Sirius suggests, dropping my hand and heading up the stairs. Great, just leave me here with them.

"Harry, I thought you were going to talk him out of this" Hermione nags, pinching her lips together in anger.

"Hermione, you and I both know that once Sirius sets his mind on something, there is no talking him out of it. Besides, we need all the help we can get" I soothe, gentle smile gracing my lips.

As soon as the words are out of my mouth, the door opens with a loud creak followed by the mechanical Albus Dumbledore springing to life to confront the intruder.

"It is not I who killed you, Albus" a raspy voice states with confidence, footsteps sounding loudly in the hallway. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck fuckfuckfuckfuck. Death Eaters finally found a way into the house and Sirius is upstairs and my wand is in the kitchen. Fuck.

The sound of heavy, fast footsteps sound on the stairs as Sirius thunders down at the sound of Dumbledore's accusations. He flies down the stairs, jumps off the banister at the landing and plants himself in front of the intruder with his wand already under their chin.

"GET OUT" he spits, a curse on the tip of his tongue. Something seems to surprise him because he blinks at the person and lowers his wand.

"Sirius?" the person says in a breathy, choked whisper.

"Remus!" Sirius exclaims, throwing this arms around his long time friend and laughing. "Sorry about that, mate".

"Harry James Potter, get in here this instant" Remus shouts, pulling back from Sirius with a stormy expression. I am in so much trouble; Remus never uses my full name unless I am going to get a very stern talking to.

"Hi Remus, great to see you" I gush, slinking into the entry hall with a sheepish smile. One glance at Sirius supplies that he is looking at me with an apologetic grimace. Loads of help, yet again.

"Don't even try it. What the hell did you do?" he demands, hands on his hips. Fuck.

"We snuck into the Ministry and got him out of the Veil" I explain with a small smile at Sirius.

"You are trying to tell me that you brought him back from the dead" he asks incredulously. Why isn't Ron or Hermione helping me? Geez, great friends they are.

"No, you see, he wasn't actually dead. Just trapped in a Stasis of some sort. I found this thing in this book and we just did it because I was just so useless with how sad I was and I was going to Owl you but I didn't want to risk it being intercepted and I'm really sorry" I finish with a rising blush. I was never good at explaining myself to him when he's pissed.

"…so this is actually Sirius?" he asks with hope gleaming in his amber eyes.

"Of course it is!" I say indignantly. What did he think I did? Paid a whore to impersonate my Godfather for me?

"Oh god" he breathes, putting his head in his hands. Well, that's not exactly what I was expecting.

"Remus…" I start, not really sure what I wanted to say.

Sirius seemed to know that now was the opportunity to get his hug so he steps forward and pats his back until Remus flings his arms around him in a rather manly hug. Ending the embrace rather quickly, Sirius steps back with a smile.

"Good to have you back, Sirius" Remus says, grin practically breaking his face in half.

"It's good to be here" Sirius replies, with another glance at me. I know there is a message I was supposed to receive from that look, but I can't figure out exactly what it is.

"Yes, well, I actually came here to offer my help" Remus says, smiling gently at me. He has a strange glint in his eyes, though. Something is the matter with him and I am determined to figure out what.

"Moony, what's going on" Sirius interjects, raising his eyebrows expectantly.

"Nothing, I'm just concerned that three 17 year old wizards might be finding whatever task Albus assigned to be rather difficult. I know you cant tell me exactly what's going on, but I can still help. I could be there to protect you. What do you say, Harry?" Remus explains, looking hopeful again. Alright, now I know something is going on.

"What about Tonks?" Hermione asks, entering the small space at last.

"What about her?" Remus retorts, looking a bit put out. Something is going on and it has to do with Tonks.

"Well," said Hermione, frowning, "you're married! How does she feel about you going away with us?"

"Tonks will be perfectly safe," said Lupin. "She'll be at her parents' house."

There was something strange in Remus' tone; it was almost cold. There was also something odd in the idea of Tonks remaining hidden at her parents' house; she was, after all, a member of the Order and, as far as I know, is likely to want to be in thick of the action.

"Remus," said Hermione tentatively, "is everything all right ... you know ... between you and--"

"Everything is fine, thank you," said Remus pointedly. Yup, defiantly hit the issue.

Hermione turned pink. There was another pause, an awkward and embarrassed one, and then Remus said, with an air of forcing himself to admit something unpleasant, "Tonks is going to have a baby."

"Oh, how wonderful!" squealed Hermione.

"Excellent!" said Ron enthusiastically, finally joining the conversation.

"Congratulations" I say with a smile, looking to Sirius with a pointed look.

"You are married to my cousin and now she's knocked up?" Sirius repeats, blinking rapidly and looking generally confused. Remus nods hesitantly, looking to Sirius for some sign of approval. Sirius only smiles and tips his head in acceptance.

Remus gave an artificial smile that was more like a grimace, then said, "So ... do you accept my offer? Will…four become five? Assuming that is, that Sirius is coming along. I cannot believe that Dumbledore would have disapproved, he appointed me your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, after all. And I must tell you that I believe that we are facing magic many of us have never encountered or imagined." Ron and Hermione both look at me to answer.

"Just -- just to be clear," I say. "You want to leave Tonks at her parents' house and come away with us?"

"She'll be perfectly safe there, they'll look after her," said Remus. He spoke with a finality bordering on indifference. "Harry, I'm sure James would have wanted me to stick with you."

"Well," I start slowly, "I'm not. I'm pretty sure my father would have wanted to know why you aren't sticking with your own kid, actually."

Remus' face drained of color. The temperature in the kitchen might have dropped ten degrees. Ron stared around the room as though he had been bidden to memorize it, while Hermione's eyes swivelled backwards and forwards from me to Remus.

"You don't understand," said Remus at last.

"Explain, then," I demand, raising my eyebrow in a very Sirius-like manner. Remus swallowed nervously.

"I -- I made a grave mistake in marrying Tonks. I did it against my better judgment, and I have regretted it very much ever since."

"I see," I drawl, "so you're just going to dump her and the kid and then run off with us?"

Remus pursed his lips and he glared at me so fiercely that I see, for the first time ever, the shadow of the wolf upon his human face.

"Alright, let's all just calm down" Sirius sooths with a troubled look on his face. I hadn't meant to get between them and I certainly understand if Sirius wants his best friend to go with us. I just can't sit by while another child goes without a father while I can help it.

"Sorry, it's… I know what its like to grow up without a dad and…" I try with a guilty look on my face.

"Why do you feel that you made a mistake in marrying her?" Sirius asks, once again forced to be the voice of reason.

"I… cant burden her with my… problem. You don't know what I've already done to her by marrying her in the fist place. Her own family is disgusted with the marriage. It's not right. And the baby… It was stupid and I knew it was wrong but I did it anyway. It was wrong of me and…" Remus stumbles, looking desperate and rather upset. I risk a glance at Sirius and see him looking back at me with a sad smile.

"Remus, stop acting like a coward" I say, venom entering my tone. Sirius turns a shocked glance on me but I stay focused on Remus' pallid face. I cant believe the words that are coming out of my mouth, but upon reflection, I know it's the right thing to do.

"Harry, no!" Hermione exclaims, stepping up beside me and placing her hand on my arm. Another unknown glare from Sirius at the action but I am completely occupied with getting Remus to go home to his wife. Parents shouldn't leave their kids unless they have to.

"No, Harry's right" Sirius gasps, looking at Remus with sad eyes.

"How dare you…the both of you! I am trying to save Tonks and that poor child the agony of having me sullying their entire lives!" Remus shouts, rage slowly taking over his features.

"You think your being noble? I think you just want a bit of adventure, don't you, Moony? Fancy yourself a bit of a daredevil. Giving my shoes a good try, eh? Well, I wont let you do this to yourself" Sirius mocks, eyes still unbearably sad but determined.

"I never would have thought that the man who taught me to fight dementors would turn out to be a coward" I spit, looking away from him and mustering a look of disgust. I think I might vomit, I can't believe I am saying these things to Remus Lupin.

Remus drew his wand so fast that I barely registered Sirius groping inside his robes for his own before there was a loud bang and I went flying into the portrait of Mrs. Black as though I was punched. Through my swimming vision, I see the tail of Remus' cloak billowing through the door before it slammed behind him.

"Harry, love, are you alright?" Sirius grunts, kneeling down in front of me and placing his hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah" I whisper, feeling the air entering my lungs at last. The nauseated feeling hasn't subsided, in fact it only seems to be getting worse the longer I replay the conversation in my head.

"How could you?" Hermione gasps, looking between Sirius and I with a furious expression.

"It was easy" Sirius says with a shrug, but his eyes betray the casual tone. He is just as sickened as I am by what we had to say to the nicest man on the planet. Sirius helps me to my feet and leads me gently to the couch with his hand on the small of my back. I am eternally grateful to his backup out there and I have to force myself not to hug him fiercely in response to my ragged nerves.

Sitting on the couch next to me, Sirius gathers me to his side and begins carding his fingers through my hair again. I think it must soothe him as much as it soothes me for him to keep doing it like this. The warmth from his side seeps into me and I feel my bunched muscles relax in response, frazzled nerve endings piecing back together slowly with the gentle motions of Sirius' hands.

"I'm sorry, Sirius" I whisper, shutting my eyes against the flood of guilt the words bring forth.

"Don't be, love. It needed to be done" Sirius coos, using his other hand to coax my head to his shoulder. I find myself curling into him and allowing the waves of emotion I feel for this man to crash over me. I couldn't even name the feelings I have swirling inside my chest right now. All I know is that no one is more important to me than Sirius.

"You shouldn't have said those things to Lupin" Ron says, shuffling into the parlor with a glare.

"Leave off it, Ron" Sirius intones with a soft growl and a curl of his lip.

"No, I bloody will not. He was only trying to help us, you git!" Ron snarls, eyes hard and biting.

"You obviously don't have a clue as to what you are talking about, boy" Sirius hisses through clenched teeth and I shut my eyes against the eminent blow up about to occur.

"No! We mustn't fight!" Hermione declares, placing herself between Ron and Sirius. Thank Merlin for her. I don't know what I would do without her sometimes.

" 'Mione is right, we need to focus on getting the Horcrux from Umbridge and not over petty arguments" I say wearily, opening my eyes again with a soft sigh.

"Of course. Sorry" Sirius agrees, directing his apology at me instead of Ron. Oh well, at least he said the words and Ron will probably assume it's meant for him.

"Right, well I assume we're going with the Polyjuice plan. We don't have any more hairs so we will have to get more" Ron redirects with a sheepish smile for Hermione.

"I had thought about that. I think we need to get hairs from employees so that we can take their uniforms and blend in better" Hermione suggests, plopping into the armchair opposite the couch.

"Good plan, it will take a bit longer but its better than trying to go in as visitors" Sirius comments, sighing softly as he continues to card his fingers through my hair. I think I could just turn into a big Harry-puddle right here. No, focus.

"Should we plan it for tomorrow, then?" I ask, curling my legs under me and resting my full weight against Sirius.

"Yes, I think that would be best" Hermione replies, smiling at me.

"Alright then, I guess I should see about some dinner" I state, moving as though to get up only to be stopped by an arm slithering around my waist.

"Kreature" Sirius calls, raising his voice only slightly. With a soft pop, the little elf stands in the center of the room with a glower in full force on his face.

"Lord Black has called Kreature?" he rasps, bowing from the waist.

"Yes, we were wondering if you might prepare dinner tonight, Kreature" I ask, smiling gently at the little elf.

"As you wish, Master Harry" Kreature responds, popping away as soon as the words were out of his mouth.

"Just relax tonight, kitten. It's going to be a long day tomorrow" Sirius coos, pulling me tighter against him.

"As you wish, Lord Black" I tease, letting my eyes fall shut again. I am certain I don't want to know what is causing those wet smacking sounds from across the room. Ew.

"I could get used to that" he teases right back, nuzzling my hair sweetly.

"I wouldn't if I were you" I warn with a smile, snuggling further into his chest.

"Kitten?" he prods, speaking directly in my ear. I suppress a shudder and manage a grunt in response.

"I'm proud of you, you know. It took a lot of courage to say the things that needed to be said today" he says, pride entering his tone and I smile at him with a nod.

"You too, Sirius. It must have been harder for you" I reply, wrapping an arm around the front of his torso.

"He'll come back and thank us for it later" he says with a small chuckle.

"I just hope he'll forgive us. I don't need to be thanked" I sigh, thinking of all the times I wished I wasn't the one who had to save the world.

"I'm not worried. Besides, I have all I need right here" he whispers and places a small kiss on my cheek. Me too, Sirius. Me too.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

A/N: There we have it. Let me know what you think, please! It was terribly difficult to write this chapter, I love Remus so! PLEASE REVIEW! I love hearing from you all, huge thanks to everyone who has let me know how I'm doing.

Oceans of Love,

~Kitty


	6. Chapter 6

Misery Loves Company

Rating: MA – Eventually

Authors Notes: Some of this chapter was taken almost verbatim from Deathly Hallows, I just had to add Sirius in there! So, no I am not JKR, I don't have any money. Don't sue!

Warnings: Harry/Sirius. This is Slash people!! Don't like, don't read. Simple.

"Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one's life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one's side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart it's pages betrayed the rhythm and the music; perhaps . . . perhaps . . . love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath." – Lucy Maud Montgomery

**Misery Loves Company**

**Chapter Six**

By: Kitty

"Harry, quickly! In my bag there is a bottle labeled Essence of Dittany. You need to get it, I won't be able to stop the bleeding without it" Hermione orders, ripping Ron's soiled shirt in half and exposing the gaping hole in his upper arm.

"Bag – got it" I say, picking up the purple clutch and summoning the small vial.

"Unstopper it for me, would you? My hands are shaking" she admits, eyes firmly focused on Ron's ashen face.

I wrench the top out of the bottle and hand it to her. She sprinkles three drops of the potion onto the bleeding wound. Greenish smoke billowed upward and when it cleared I can see that the bleeding has stopped. The wound now looks several days old with new pink skin stretched over what had just been opened flesh.

"Wow" I say, slumping into a fully seated position and off my knees.

"Its all I felt safe doing" said Hermione shakily. "There are spells that would put him totally right, but I daren't try incase I do them wrong and cause more damage… He's lost so much blood already" she finishes, swiping a piece of still-grey hair from her face.

"How did he get hurt?" I ask, trying to clear my head and make sense of everything that has just happened. "I mean, why are we here? I thought we were going back to Grimmauld Place"

"Harry, I don't think we can go back there" Sirius says, moving to sit beside me and grasping my hand in his own.

"Why not? I ask, trying to siphon as much assurance from Sirius' hand as I can.

"When we dissapparated, Yaxley caught hold of me and I couldn't get rid of him, he was too strong, and he was still holding on when we arrived at Grimmauld Place and then – well, I think he must have thought we were stopping there so he loosened his grip and I managed to shake him off and I brought us here instead" Hermione explains, taking a large breath as soon as she finished speaking. I grip Sirius' hand tighter in response and shuffle closer to him.

"Then where is he? You don't mean he's at Grimmauld Place? He cant get in there…" I exclaim, searching Sirius' face for confirmation.

"Harry, I think he can" Sirius says, eyes bright with some emotion I cant identify.

"I forced him to let go with a Revulsion Jinx but I'd already taken him inside the Fidelius Charm's protection. Since Dumbledore died, we're Secret-Keepers, so I've given him the secret, haven't I?" Hermione barks bitterly, lowering her eyes in remorse.

There was no pretending; I know she's right. It was a serious blow. If Yaxley could now get inside the house, there was no way we can return. Even now, he could be bringing other Death Eaters over by Apparition. Poor Kreature, making dinner that we will never eat, cleaning the house only for Death Eaters to storm the place.

"I'm so, so sorry" Hermione wails, tears falling down her still pale cheeks.

"Don't be stupid, it's not your fault. If anything, it's mine…" I say trailing off at Sirius' grunt of disapproval. I reach into my pocket and pull out Mad-eye's magic eye. Hermione recoils, horrified but Sirius leans forward with excitement.

"Umbridge had it stuck to her office door, to spy on people. I couldn't leave it there… but that's how they knew there were intruders" I explain

Before Hermione or Sirius could respond, Ron groaned and opened his eyes. He was still grey and his face glistened with sweat. Hermione jumps and rushes to his side, stroking the damp hair from his face.

"How do you feel?" she asks, stroking his face repeatedly.

"Lousy" Ron replies with a smile, only to wince as he felt his injured arm. "Where are we?"

"In the woods where they held the Quidditch World Cup. I wanted somewhere enclosed, undercover and this was…" she says, trailing off uneasily.

"… the first place you thought of" I finish for her with a small grin. Glancing at Sirius, I can see his face showing concern for the apparent desolate glade. I frown at him but before I could ask what was bothering him, Ron spoke up.

"Do you reckon we should move on?" he croaks, shifting onto his elbows to look about. He was still pale and clammy and the prospect of moving him seemed daunting.

"I think we should camp here for the night" I suggest, glancing around at the others for any sign of apprehension. Looking relieved, Sirius jumps to his feet and walks away a few feet.

"Where are you going" I ask with a small frown.

"If were going to stay here, we need to put up some protective enchantments around the place" he replies, smirking at my impressed expression. Raising his wand, he begins casting in a wide circle around the three of us.

"We could put up the tent" Hermione suggests, springing to her feet with her purple bag. Instead of trying to rummage around, she simply summons the tent and places it close to Ron. With a muttered _Erecto_, the tent was set up innocently behind Ron yet still in the protective circle Sirius was weaving.

With a final _Cave Inimicum_ and a flourish of his wand, Sirius completes his wards and walks back over to us.

"It's the best I can do. At the very least, we'll know they're coming. I don't think it will keep out Voldemort, but it might slow him down enough for a quick escape" he says with a shrug and a small smile.

"Thank you, Sirius" I reply, grinning up at him with pure adoration.

"No problem. Lets get Ron inside the tent, yeah?" he suggests, squatting down by Ron's legs and glancing at me expectantly. I shuffle to his head and place my hands under his arms and lock our gazes together.

"One, Two, Three" he chants, grunting as we gather him off the ground and carry him inside the tent, placing him on a bed closest to the entrance without incident. Hermione follows, glancing around as if to ensure that the entire tent is intact.

"I'll make some tea" she says, bringing out the proper equipment from her bag and moving to the stove to begin her task. The prospect of tea is as welcome as the firewhiskey after Mad-Eye died, burning away the bit of fear and anxiety still left over from the struggle at the Ministry.

Hermione gave each of us a cup and moved to fret over Ron with such immense tenderness and affection that I feel my heart clench in my chest. Would Sirius be fussing over me like that if I were the one who got splinched? I look over at Sirius who is gazing forlornly at his cup of tea and try to imagine him hunched over my bedside and brushing hair out of my face. Merlin's shorts! Get yourself under control and stop staring at him like you'll never talk to him again. This is Sirius and you can just get up and march over there and talk to him. Any minute now, it's coming, we're going to do this.

"Siri…" I start, keeping my voice low as to not disturb Hermione and Ron.

"Mhm" he replies, prying his gaze from his tea cup and onto me with a smile.

"I'm really glad that you're here" I murmur, casting my eyes to the rumpled fabric that is serving as our floor.

"I'm glad to be here, kitten. Now are you going to tell me why you're moping over there in the corner or am I going to have to spike your pumpkin juice with Veritaserum?" he says in the same soft tone. Well, he sure gets right down to the thick of things. I am obviously not going to tell him about the desperate longing I harbor for him, so that leaves only my irrational fear that I will wake up and all this would have been a dream.

"I suppose I just feel like if I even blink for too long, you'll disappear" I admit, forcing myself to appear sheepish. No matter how much I love and yearn for him, I can never tell him. I will be what he needs me to be and keep my inappropriate urges to myself.

"Come over here" he whispers hoarsely, placing his tea on an end table and opening his arms wide in invitation. He can't possibly mean he wants me to sit on his lap, he must just want a hug. Keeping my expectations remarkably low, I walk to his chair and stand in front of him.

"Do you need a written invitation? Sit down with me" he chuckles, raising his eyebrow at my reluctance.

"Where exactly do you want me to sit?" I ask, giving him a look that says that he should have anticipated this predicament.

"We are going to have a good cuddle and work out all the things that have you convinced that I am going to leave you again. So, sit on my lap if you please" Sirius explains, holding his arms open again. Merlin in a garter and stilettos, he really wants me to sit in his bloody lap.

"Yeah, alright" I consent, crawling awkwardly into his lap and placing myself sideways so that I can just turn my head to the side and see his face. We sit in silence for a few moments and I assume he is letting me get over my embarrassment about being coddled like an infant in a grown man's lap. Although, if I were honest with myself I would admit that this is rather pleasant. Of course, I am not being honest with myself for fear of crying again or worse, throwing myself at him like a two-knut twink.

"Now I am positive that we went over this before, but just to clear up any misunderstandings I am going to say it again" he whispers directly in my ear, sending delicious shivers up my spine all the way to the tips of my hair.

"There is absolutely nowhere I would rather be then wherever you are. If that means camping in the woods or breaking into the Ministry then that's exactly where I will be. I am never leaving you again, Harry Potter, and there is nothing that anyone can say or do that will change that" he declares and buries his face in my hair with a large intake of air.

"Love you" I choke, burrowing my head into his neck, knowing that the words are horribly insufficient but it's the only thing I can think to say in response. Wood smoke, cloves, leather, whiskey and something wild and uniquely Sirius invades my nostrils and I have to fight hard to keep my eyes from prickling with tears. I am not going to cry again and that's final!

"If I really thought that saying that I love you too would be enough then I would just say it and get it over with. As it is, there aren't words enough to tell you the enormity of what I feel for you. So I will just have to endeavor to show you" Sirius rasps, pressing a lingering kiss to my scar. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, holy mother of Salazar Slytherin I'm crying again. At the feel of my tears on his neck, he rubs my back and makes little shushing sounds, letting his lips rest against my temple.

Ok, gather up the remaining bits of your dignity and try to stop crying like a big girl! We have to talk about Horcruxes and Voldemort and Ron's injury and… other things I cant think of right at the moment. We don't have time to sit around and pine for forbidden men!

"Don't even think about getting up yet" Sirius demands, locking his arms around me in a sort of shackle as though he was reading my mind. He probably just knows me so ruddy well that he knows I will be trying to remove myself from emotional scenes.

"Siri, we have… things to talk about. Important… things" I try, wiggling around impatiently. The only response I get is a deep chuckle and a kiss to my cheek.

"Yes, we most certainly do. That, however, does not indicate the need for new seating arrangements" he chirps and I can feel the smile against my hair. Alright, this might be the most blissful seat I have taken in my entire life but that doesn't mean its healthy for me to get used to this. This is obviously just a one time thing and will never happen again, there's no use in thinking anything of it.

"Sirius… I don't think" I start, furrowing my brow.

"You will sit here until you like it and then you will continue to sit here some more" he exclaims, smirk out in full force. Oh gods, if he only knew how much I liked it already!

"Fine" I cave, resting my head on his collarbone with a long sigh. It's not as though I actually wanted to move.

"See now, wasn't that so much easier than arguing about it for endless hours? You will like it eventually!" he smirks, looking for all the world like the cat who ate the canary. Cocky prat.

"Hermione" I inquire, attempting to keep the whine out of my voice.

"Yes, Harry?" She replies with a pout, looking rather put out at the interruption only to widen her eyes comically when she notices my new seat.

"Have you got it?" I ask, keeping my expression pleasant despite the absolute shock on hers.

"Got – got what?" she sputters with a little start.

"What did we just go through all that for? The locket! Where's the locket?" I bark a bit frantically.

"You got it?" shouted Ron, raising himself a little higher on his pillows. "No one tells me anything! Blimey, you could have mentioned it!"

"Well, we were running for our lives from the Death Eaters, weren't we" Hermione snarks. "Here" she finishes, pulling the locket from her pocket and handing it to Ron.

It was as large as a chicken's egg with an ornate 'S' inlaid with many small green stones. It glinted dully in the diffused light shining through the tent's canvas roof.

"There isn't any chance someone's destroyed it since Kreacher had it? I mean, are we sure it's still a Horcrux?" asked Ron hopefully.

"I think so. There'd be some sign of damage if it had been magically destroyed" she says, taking it back from Ron and tossing it to me. I turn it over in my fingers and trace the engravings softly with my fingertips. Sirius is glancing over my shoulder all the while and I can feel his breath on the side of my neck.

The bloody thing looked perfect, pristine. I remember the mangled remains of the Diary and how the stone in the Horcrux ring had been cracked open when Dumbledore destroyed it.

"I reckon Kreacher's right. We're going to have to work out how to open this thing before we can destroy it" I muse, attempting to prise the locket open with my fingers. Sudden awareness of what I'm holding, of what lives behind the little golden doors, hit me as I spoke. Even after all our efforts to find it, I feel the violent urge to fling the thing from me. Mastering myself again, I try the charm Hermione used on Regulus's bedroom door which didn't work at all.

"We'll just have to keep it safe until we work out how to destroy it" Sirius comments soothingly, taking the locket from my fingers and bringing it closer to his face. Blinking, he hands it back to me and I can feel a shudder pass though him.

"Did you feel that?" he asks, looking down on me with a curious expression. Grasping the locket firmly in my fist, I allow the energy to pass into my skin and with a shudder of my own I nod.

Little though I wanted to, I hung the chain around my neck and sighed deeply.

"I think we should take it in turns to keep watch outside the tent" I add to Hermione and Sirius, leaning back into his chest and rubbing my tired eyes.

"We'll need to think about something to eat as well" Sirius interjects, shrugging helplessly at Hermione's glare.

"Yes, your right. I'll go see what I can find" she sighs, looking sharply at Ron before ordering him to stay put.

Hermione returns some time later with some wild mushrooms which she stews in a billycan. After a few mouthfuls, Ron pushes his share away looking a little queasy; Sirius and I had only persevered so as to not hurt Hermione's feelings.

"Harry, you want to take first watch with me?" Sirius asks, giving me a meaningful look which I interpreted as a desperate need to get out of the tent.

"Sure" I reply, rising from my seat and waiting patiently for Sirius to join me.

We walk a few feet from the entrance and plop ourselves down on the soft ground, sitting as close to the other as separate bodies allow. Minutes bleed into hours, chattering about meaningless things just to occupy the deafening silence surrounding our little clearing. Eventually Hermione emerges from the tent and takes over the watch while Sirius and I try and get some sleep.

Finding myself in my own bed for the first time in nearly a month, with the chill creeping under the bed clothes and into my skin, I find myself strangely awake. I can hear Ron's little snores and Sirius's deep breathing but my mind will not be lulled by any of the familiar noises. Every time I get close to sleep, something outside rustles, groans or otherwise stirs and I snap into awareness. Its not that I don't trust Hermione to warn us should someone find us, I just find myself unable to sleep without Sirius next to me.

"Budge over" a harsh whisper sounds from my right and I turn towards the voice with a little grunt of incomprehension.

"I said, budge over. I'm cold" Sirius hisses, climbing into my bed and snuggling in for the night. Sometimes I really think he can read my mind. With a small smile, I cuddle into his chest and sigh happily. This is what I needed; he always seems to know exactly what I need. Cold, my arse.

"Night, Siri" I say for the second time that night, but this time I actually believe I could sleep.

"Goodnight, Kitten" he whispers, placing a kiss into my hair and wrapping an arm around my waist.

Yes, it will be with Sirius next to me.

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A/N: Here you go! I hope you are enjoying this story as much as I am enjoying writing it. Please take a moment to review. PLEASE! I need them!!

Oceans of Love,

~Kitty


	7. Chapter 7

2-Misery Loves Company

Rating: MA – Eventually

Authors Notes: Here is just a little romance inductive chapter! So, no I am not JKR, I don't have any money. Don't sue!

Warnings: Harry/Sirius. This is Slash people!! Don't like, don't read. Simple.

"Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one's life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one's side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart it's pages betrayed the rhythm and the music; perhaps . . . perhaps . . . love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath." – Lucy Maud Montgomery

**Misery Loves Company**

**Chapter Seven**

By: Kitty

_It seemed to take Sirius an age to fall. His body curved in a graceful arc as he sank backward through the ragged veil hanging from the arch....  
And I see the look of mingled fear and surprise on Sirius's wasted, once-handsome face as he fell through the ancient doorway and disappeared behind the veil, which fluttered for a moment as though a high wind and then fell back into place. _

"_SIRIUS! SIRIUS! Let me go. He's just gone through, we can still get him back! Let me go!"_

"_He can't come back, Harry. He can't come back because he's d—"_

"_HE—IS—NOT—DEAD! __**SIRIUS!**__"_

"Hush, kitten. Everything is fine. Just breathe for me, that's right, keep breathing. I'm here, your safe and everything is fine" a husky voice rasps into my ear, holding me around the waist, a firm body pressed into my back. Oh gods, it was just a dream. Just a bloody dream and Sirius is lying next to you, not behind a damned veil.

"Sirius?" I whisper, still attempting to regulate my breathing. I feel more than here his sigh and he tightens his arms around me.

"That's right, love. I'm right here just like I promised. I won't leave you" he breathes into my ear, nuzzling the fleshy spot just behind the lobe.

"I saw you fall again" I confess, voice higher than I would have hoped.

"It was just a dream, Harry. I'm here with you. Can you feel me behind you?" Sirius rumbles and I can feel the vibrations flutter along my back.

"Yes, I can feel you. I think I'm alright" I say, closing my eyes briefly only to snap them back open at the remaining images waiting.

"No your not, I can feel you shaking. Turn around" he orders, releasing his vice-like hold around my torso. I turn to face him eagerly, wanting desperately to see his eyes. His eyes will tell me if things are ok again. As soon as I finish my wiggling, he wraps one arm around my waist and uses the other to caress my face and hair. His eyes are calm and bright.

"I'm sorry I woke you up" I drawl, yawning widely and snuggling into his chest.

"Don't apologize" he whispers harshly, placing a soft kiss on my cheek. What wouldn't I give to feel those lips on mine, on my neck, tracing down my spine? There is a desperate ache coiling in my stomach, a gaping hole that makes me dizzy and nauseated all at once. As the minutes pass in silence, the pressure builds inside me and forces absolutely inappropriate scenarios to play out in my mind.

"You're shaking again" he states, pulling me tighter against him and skimming kisses all over my face and hair. It's too much, the pressure has reached critical limits and I cant focus on anything else. I bring a trembling hand to the flesh of his throat and run my fingertips up his neck to tangle in the tips of his hair. Oh Merlin, what am I doing? This is Sirius! You cannot allow yourself to be overwhelmed, he is too important! I love him too much to live without him.

With a start, I jerk my hand away from the tantalizing curls framing his neck. What exactly did you think you were doing? Did you think he would just lie there and let you kiss him? How stupid are you? He would never want you! For Godric's sake, you don't even know if he's gay let alone remotely interested in his barely legal godson! Never in a thousand lifetimes would someone as wonderful as Sirius want you.

"Sorry" I mumble, utterly mortified with my lack of self control. I can't believe I let it get that far. I was literally one minute away from kissing him.

"Why on earth are you sorry?" he inquires, blinking at me in confusion. Gods, he wants me to say it!

"I… um…like your hair. I shouldn't have… you know… touched it" I stammer, feeling the heat flooding my face. Thank Merlin its dark. How retarded are you? 'I like your hair'? Brilliant, Potter, just brilliant. It's no wonder that he doesn't want you.

"Right" he says, drawing the word out to show his puzzlement. Fuck, this is totally humiliating. "You do realize that right now, as we speak, I'm stroking your hair and have been for a good ten minutes. Not to mention the fact that I was just kissing your face" he finishes, smirking in his charming way.

"That's different" I mumble, shrugging my shoulders helplessly. Even if he doesn't, I know that I cant touch him. He doesn't think about what it would feel like to have him fuck me every five minutes, so of course its alright for him to stroke my hair. It is not, however, alright for me to fondle an unsuspecting man just because I love him too much to keep my hands to myself.

"Oh, it is, is it?" he replies, removing his fingers from my hair and tipping my head up to catch his gaze.

"Yes" I say with much more confidence than I actually feel. In fact, I am feeling a little dizzy again and I don't exactly know what he's trying to get at, which isn't helping.

"You can touch me whenever you want, kitten" he sooths, grinning sweetly and keeping our gazes locked. Yeah, I am positive that he doesn't mean that the way it sounded to my lust-addled mind. It is best for me to just keep my hands to myself, least I pounce him and have his pants unzipped with his cock in my mouth in ten seconds flat. I haven't ever actually sucked cock, but nothing could stop me from chugging his as soon as I got the green light. Holy Salazar, stop thinking about things like that! It is completely counterproductive. Right, time for the old fail safe… Molly Weasley naked.

"Alright" I grin, plastering an innocent look on my face to hide the pornographic thoughts that have taken up residence in my brain.

"That means that you should put your fingers back in my hair" he coaxes, lifting a challenging eyebrow. Hair is relatively safe. I should be able to restrain myself as long as he doesn't move any closer to me.

So, without further provocation, I twine his hair around my fingers and practically purr with contentment. So soft and silky, even at the ends. Growing more bold, I stroke the strands at the scalp and let my nails score the skin gently.

"See now, nothing bad happened. Did it?" he prods, closing his eyes in what can only be described as pleasure. Aw, he likes to be petted just like Padfoot. Well, I suppose he technically is Padfoot so that makes sense.

"No" I answer, teasingly scratching behind his ears which earns me a slight swat on my shoulder and a deep chuckle.

"Do you think that you can fall asleep now?" he asks, resting his forehead against mine and sighing deeply. Oh fuck, his mouth is way too close and I can smell his sweet breath and feel the warmth of his skin under my hands. Too much, too soon, not nearly enough control. I cant believe that I thought this was a good plan! Stupid, stupid, stupid!

"Alright? You tensed up" he inquires, clarifying upon my furrowed brow.

"Yeah, you just startled me" I reply, putting a little space between our faces to ensure I don't maul him with my lips.

"I'm sorry, love. Come 'ere" he coos, kissing my cheek ridiculously close to my mouth and letting his lips linger where they fell. This is just getting worse and worse… or better and better depending on how you look at it. Right at this moment, with my restraint considerably depleted, I'm going to go with worse.

"Better?" he whispers, lips brushing my skin as he spoke. NO IT IS NOT BETTER I want to scream. What I really want to be screaming is… STOP! Do not even go there.

"Yes" I sigh, not giving voice to any of my rampaging thoughts.

"Good, don't want to scare you away" he mutters around a yawn, letting his eyes fall shut and his hand resumes its stroking across my face and hair.

"You could never scare me away" I let out before I could even catch it. I like to call these moments 'word vomit' – where the words just seem to slip out without your permission and all you want to do is shove them back in your mouth. Fuck.

"That's good to know, kitten. Close your eyes now and try to get some sleep. I'll be here when you wake up" he chuckles, pressing another kiss to the spot that his lips have been resting for quite a few moments.

"Mhm" I lie, making as though I was settling down to sleep. I don't think the sandman will be visiting me again tonight. I was wrong, because within mere minutes all I knew was blissful nothingness where Sirius is pressing his lips to mine ever so gently. I don't know what I would do without dreams.

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A/N: Sorry that this one is so short but I just wanted a frivolous fluffy chapter before any actual plot development. For those of you who are wondering what the hell I am doing, let me assure you that this story will be taking major plot points from Deathly Hallows and putting a Sirry spin on it. I promise more action soon! PLEASE REVIEW! I need some nourishment to continue writing! Thanks to everyone who did review, I adore each and every one of you! PLEASE REVIEW! IT ONLY TAKES A FEW SECONDS TO LET A STARVING WRITER KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

Oceans of Love,

~Kitty


	8. Chapter 8

Misery Loves Company

Rating: MA – Eventually

Authors Notes: Here is just a little romance inductive chapter! So, no I am not JKR, I don't have any money. Don't sue!

Warnings: Harry/Sirius. This is Slash people!! Don't like, don't read. Simple.

"Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one's life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one's side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart it's pages betrayed the rhythm and the music; perhaps . . . perhaps . . . love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath." – Lucy Maud Montgomery

**Misery Loves Company**

**Chapter Eight**

By: Kitty

"No, Hermione, it was just a regular sort of nightmare. Lay off it" I force through my clenched jaw.

"Harry, this is important! You need to block Voldemort from your mind" she shrieks, flailing her arms in a windmill pattern. It's rather comical to watch, actually.

"'Mione, maybe you should just…"Ron starts only to snap his teeth together upon her rabid glare.

"Maybe I should nothing, Ronald. You all know I'm right, Sirius – Back me up a bit would you?" she snips, pursing her lips in restraint.

"The nightmare was just that – A nightmare! I was right there with him, I know. His scar wasn't hurting, there was no headache and it was just a side effect of having too much fucked up shit happen to him. Leave him alone" Sirius snarls back, stepping up to stand at his full height next to me.

"No, I won't! Do you presume that you're the only one who cares for Harry? We're all here because we love him and want to be here to help him. You saw what happened to him before he started blocking the visions" she replies, straightening her spine and lifting her chin proudly.

"I'm still in the room, standing exactly here!" I exclaim, throwing my hands up in exasperation.

" 'M sorry Kitten" Sirius chuckles, banding an arm around my waist and pulling me to stand against his side.

"Harry, please! We all need to know if something…" Hermione begins again only to trail off at my hand making a stopping motion.

"Hermione, I promise you that I am not having any visions from Voldemort" I soothe, gentling my expression.

"Then why won't you tell any of us about the nightmare you had last night?" Ron demands, standing beside Hermione with a stern set to his shoulders. It's an even split, it seems.

"Because normal people don't go around telling everyone about their nightmares" Sirius bellows, his blue eyes blazing with indignation.

"Why don't you let him speak for himself for once?" Ron hisses, looking at Sirius with a murderous expression.

"He shouldn't have to answer your idiotic questions, that's why!" Sirius growls, the timber of his voice lowering dangerously. You know Sirius is absolutely livid when he isn't shouting. Bloody hell, Ron is going to be hexed if I don't step in, loathe though I am to actually participate in this absurd argument.

"That's enough" I say softly, allowing the softness of my voice carry the weight of my frustration better than any amount of yelling.

"Harry, how can you just let him put words in your mouth like that?" Ron asks, completely oblivious to the look of disgust gracing Sirius's face.

"Stop it, the both of you. Just stop for one ruddy minute! I dreamt about Sirius falling through the veil again, alright. I shouldn't feel obligated to discuss every horrific thing my mind dreams up. So next time either of you decides to stick your nose where it doesn't belong, JUST DON'T" I bark, turning sharply and walking calmly from the tent.

The air outside the tent is crisp and fragrant, cooling my flushed skin with a sweeping breeze.

"Do you need to be alone or may I join you?" Sirius asks from behind me, sparing me the torture of his close proximity.

"Come stew with me" I offer, turning sideways to give him a cheeky grin.

"Gladly" he replies, striding over to stand next to me. This whole morning has been a complete disaster and I never even got the chance to thank him for helping me through the night. I don't like to complain too much, but I am hungry and tired and the absolute last thing I needed was Ron and Hermione jumping down my throat… our throats, really.

"Thanks – for back there and last night" I mutter, keeping my eyes facing forward and off the Adonis standing beside me. Don't blush, don't fidget, and under no circumstances are you to cry!

"Anytime, love. Thanks for letting me do… whatever it is I'm doing" he sighs, chuckling lightly near the end. I allow a small laugh to escape before sobering again, glancing at him discreetly from my peripheral vision.

"May I ask you something?" I inquire, still only snatching glimpses of him from the side.

"Anything" he says, turning his head to the side to look at my profile. I can feel the weight of that sapphire gaze settling on me and I shift a bit in response.

"Why are you doing this? I mean, I get that I'm your godson and my dad would want you to look after me, but why are you always…" I trail off, unable to come up with anything other than 'being perfect'. I choose to merely shrug instead.

"Because, I love you" he answers simply, as though that should have been the most obvious thing in the universe. Great lot that does to clarify anything. I turn slowly to face him, eyes drawn to the blue hurricane of his gaze without my immediate permission.

"That's not an answer, Sirius. Tell me why" I insist, letting the melancholy show on my face for once. Sirius always has the uncanny ability to see through my mask anyway, why not just allow him to see me for once.

"Sorry to disappoint you, kitten, but that's my answer. I love you. Plain and simple" he shrugs, closing the distance between us and placing an arm around my shoulders.

"Yeah, well, here's another thing. You never used to be so… touchy. Why are you doing this to me, Sirius?" I whine out, looking away from him as soon as the words leave my mouth. There is that Word Vomit again. God, why can't I ever just keep my mouth shut when it really matters? I had to go complain and now he won't ever touch me again. He'll pull away and sleep in his own bed and I'll never hear that he loves me again. I am the biggest idiot ever.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know it bothered you" he snaps, taking his arm from my shoulders and backing away a step. Bloody fuck. You had better fix this, Potter!

"No, it doesn't bother me! I'm just… I am very confused and I need to know that you aren't doing this out of some misguided loyalty to my dad" I plead, closing the distance he created to grasp his jacket's lapels in my hands. Please, God, don't take him from me again. His eyes seem to soften, filling with some emotion I can't identify, and he reaches his hands up to tangle in the hairs at my temples and brush against the sides of my face.

"I was never this 'touchy' with you before because I was trapped in that house and you were at school and when I did see you, you were so upset about Cedric's death and Voldemort's return that you never seemed receptive. All I can do now is show you how much I've always loved you. I love you, kitten, _you. _I know I'm not a good godfather, I've never been very responsible and Merlin knows I do too many things without really thinking them over. But I like to think that I make a pretty good friend so that's what I'll give you, unconditionally" he says brokenly, gripping the sides of my face between his palms and looking directly in my eyes.

"So, let me say this again and I pray it gets through this time because I outright refuse to live without you. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone, not because your dad made me your godfather but because you are my entire world, Harry"Sirius finishes, holding my gaze for many minutes before releasing my face and grasping my shoulders.

Oh Merlin, don't cry. Keep it together, Potter. Now would be the time to say something eloquent and smooth. Anything, just say anything. Oh please don't just stand here with your jaw on the floor. Act like you have a brain in your head! Say something!

"I don't even… There aren't… I can't say anything remotely close to that, but I'm so thankful to have you" I whisper, blinking furiously to stave off the tears threatening to fall at any moment.

"The only time you have to say anything is if you want me to bugger off. Not that I'll listen, of course" he teases, bringing me into a fierce hug that drains me of every last strain of propriety I had left.

"Sirius, do you trust me?" I ask, completely undone. Alright, just this once and when he tells you how fucked up you are you can just pretend to have been caught up. Everything will be fine and then you can forget about it and focus on defeating Voldemort.

"Of course I do" he replies, pulling a face that suggests that I am completely ridiculous. I really have to agree at this point.

"Close your eyes" I breathe, pulling back slightly so I can see his face. He gives me another confused look, but complies quickly.

I allow myself a rare moment to simply look at him without the threat of being caught in the act. His black curls are tousled but combed; his facial hair is neatly trimmed into a rather stylish manner; long lashes rest against clear, porcelain skin; full pink lips that really are as soft as they look. Holy Salazar, this is the absolute worst idea you have ever had. No, I can do this. I will do this. Besides, I've already started so why not follow through and have one minute to replay endlessly for a lifetime of wank fantasies.

So, with confidence that I do not feel at all, I lean forward and rub my cheek against his gently. Receiving nothing more than a sweet sigh in response, I drag my lips down the soft skin above the line of his jaw, using only the slightest pressure and the most agonizing pace to give him ample time to pull away. He doesn't, in fact his hands that have been resting on each side of my waist clench and pull me closer to him; wrapping around me to stroke up my back.

"Harry" he whispers, not opening his eyes in the slightest. His voice is deep and raspy, gliding on my nerve endings to dance into electrical currents that run the length of my spine.

"Mhm?" I mumble into his skin, continuing the nuzzling against the side of his face. Instead of answering verbally, he simply tilts his face into the attention, little sighs escaping his throat sporadically.

After several moments of torture, I finally gather enough courage to pull my face away and bring my mouth millimeters from his, breathing through my mouth. He is deathly still, breath rasping harshly in and out of his parted lips. Oh sweet Merlin, I cant go through with this. This is just wrong! Forcing a kiss out of someone who would never otherwise kiss you, is wrong!

"Harry?" he whispers again, a question now. I squeeze my eyes shut and will myself to either pull away or just bloody kiss him already! Do something! Unfreeze yourself and DO SOMETHING!

"Fuck it" he growls, pulling me roughly against him and opening his eyes. Shocked beyond movement, I am forced to watch numbly as he searches my face for some kind of indication to what I must me thinking. Seeming to come to a decision, he lowers his head slowly, touching our foreheads together and taking a deep breath.

What is he doing? Doesn't he know I was just about to maul him with my mouth?

"Sirius…" I croak through the uncomfortable narrowing of my throat, attempting to explain my inappropriate caress. I don't even get another syllable out before he is making a sushing noise and staring into my eyes as though he's never seen them before.

"Tell me to stop" he growls, inching his mouth closer to mine, not looking away even for a moment. I shake my head vehemently, swallowing thickly around the rising anxiety clawing at my chest.

Smiling sweetly, he closes his eyes and nods and pulls his forehead from mine with a Herculean effort. Oh God, he's pulling away! Damn it! I missed my only chance. Only he isn't pulling away. He's leaning down again, angling his face slightly askew and then with one last glance into my eyes, he's brushing our lips together softly.

Open mouthed, lips simply touching, my head tilted back, standing totally still against each other. After an eternity of waiting, he finally seals his lips against mine with a groan.

His lips sweep against mine tenderly, gently coaxing my lips into movement with his own. The kiss is sweet and cautious and everything heaven is supposed to be. Oh Merlin, I'm kissing Sirius Black!

Unable to contain myself, I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him more firmly against me. A soft growl, a hand sneaking to the back of my head, and then his lips leave mine. I hear myself keen with the loss, and surge upwards to capture his lips again. His tongue traces my lower lip and I open my mouth to him without a second thought. My breath hitches at the first slide of his tongue against mine, but he pulls away after only a few blissful moments.

"Alright?" he whispers, and I can feel his breath fluttering against my still parted lips.

"Yeah" I squeak, completely unfazed with the absurd sound of my voice. I just kissed the most wonderful man on the planet! And the best part is that he kissed me back!

"Good, because I have wanted to do that for a long, long time" he says, smirking wickedly.

"We'll have to make up for lost time, then" I reply, voice finally sounding like my own again. The grin nearly splits my face in half as I bestow a chaste kiss to his neck.

"Oh, kitten, you have no idea" he rumbles, capturing my lips in a searing kiss.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~~_~_~_~_~_~_~

A/N: Here we go! The first kiss. Always a tough one to write, but amazingly fun at the same time. SO PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! Alright, I'm done begging. Hehe. Hope you like it!

Oceans of Love,

~Kitty


	9. Chapter 9

Misery Loves Company

Rating: MA – Eventually

Authors Notes: OK, so after the small interludes, on with the show! So, no I am not JKR, I don't have any money. Don't sue!

Warnings: Harry/Sirius. This is Slash people!! Don't like, don't read. Simple.

"Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one's life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one's side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart it's pages betrayed the rhythm and the music; perhaps . . . perhaps . . . love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath." – Lucy Maud Montgomery

**Misery Loves Company**

**Chapter Nine**

By: Kitty

Spending a good chunk of the morning under a tree, snogging Sirius is absolutely blissful. We actually went to the tree to bury Moody's eye, which we did in short order, despite Sirius's insistent groping. Not that I was complaining. As soon as I gouged a cross into the bark with my wand, I was grabbed unceremoniously around the waist and shoved up against the tree with his mouth attacking the sensitive skin of my neck.

"Sirius, we have to get back" I say, damning the lack of conviction that bleeds through. I mean, its not like I actually want to go back to the tent, I would much rather stay here with Sirius until Voldemort destroys the world…

"We have a while yet" he replies, lips never leaving my skin. Oh, that's nice. Remind me again why I'm protesting…

"We do?" I murmer, tilting my head back against the massive trunk to give him further access despite my objections. Oh fuck, I wonder what else his mouth can do. Whoa, not helping!

"Mhm, so just relax, yeah?" he breaths, laving at my collarbone delicately. I think I managed to croak out an affirmative noise but truth be told, I am much too focused on his mouth to be aware of my own self.

With a soft growl, Sirius seals his lips over mine and takes a strong handful of my arse while stroking the hairs at the back of my head with the other hand. His mouth is gentle, keeping the kiss to a soft shifting of lips against mine, and I twine my hands into his curls in an attempt to get him to deepen the kiss. I want him to ravish my mouth, to possess every inch of me, to help me tame the raging desperation clawing inside me. I don't even pause to consider that this is only our fourth kiss (Yes, I'm keeping count) and that he is trying to be considerate of the newness of our situation. Sirius pulls back from the kiss after only a minute and thumps his head against my shoulder with a great sigh.

"What's wrong?" I ask, keeping my voice soft and nuzzling my nose into the curtain of his hair.

"I was getting too carried away" he rasps, lifting his head to give me a sheepish grin.

"No, you weren't! Did you hear me complaining?" I whine, pouting my lower lip in hopes of enticing him into claiming my mouth again.

"Actually, you were… Just a moment ago" he smirks, blinking innocently down at me.

"Siri…" I gripe, deepening the pout a bit more, creating a rather pathetic picture. My efforts are rewarded when he bestows a sweet (If rather short) kiss before pulling me into a hug. A hug? Not that it's not nice, but it's a bit of a step back if you ask me.

"I need you to help me out, kitten. I'm afraid my restraint is a bit out of practice after fifteen years" he comments, chuckling darkly at his own depressing sex life. I believe we have different ideas about what 'helping' him entails. If you were to ask me, at this very moment, I would tell you that the best plan is to fall down on my knees and let him fuck my mouth. I'm sure that would 'help' break the tension. Although, a small portion of my brain reminds me, he is clearly showing reluctance. Does he not want this? Or does he simply want it too much, like me?

"Sorry" I mutter, feeling the heat creep into my cheeks at the realization that maybe I'm taking this the wrong way. I was almost positive that there was no wrong way to take someone's tongue in your mouth.

"Fuck, no… That's not what I mean. I just need to take his slow, yeah? Plus, I don't fancy our first time to be against a ruddy tree and that's what would have happened if I didn't stop myself" he explains, stroking my reddened cheeks and pleading with his eyes for me to understand. My breath hitches at the mere mention of our first time only to escape in a little whimper. That noise would be really embarrassing if I wasn't preoccupied with swatting filthy images from my mind.

"Mmmk" I sigh, relaxing into the continued hug and taking a moment to smell his hair before pulling away.

"Ready to face the dynamic duo?" he asks with a grimace and I have to chuckle at the suffering look on his face.

"Yeah, I think I can manage" I reply, looking up at him with a rather vulnerable expression. With a winning smile, he threads his fingers through my own and begins walking towards the entrance to the tent.

"There you two are! Ronald and I were just talking about maybe moving on" Hermione exclaims with an apologetic tint to her voice.

"That's a good idea. We shouldn't stay anywhere too long" I say tightly, squeezing Sirius's hand in hopes of calming his infamous temper. Ron agrees with the sole proviso that our next move takes us within reach of a bacon sandwich.

We managed to pack the sparse supplies, take down the tent and remove the enchantments around the campsite within a matter of minutes. So it is without preamble that we disapparated to the outskirts of a small market town.

Once we had pitched the tent in the shelter of a small corpse of trees and surrounded it with freshly cast defensive enchantments, I ventured out under the Invisibility Cloak to find sustenance. This, however, did not go as planned. I had barely entered the town when an unnatural chill, a descending mist, and a sudden darkening of the skies made me freeze where I stood.

"I knew I should have gone with you!" Sirius roared when I arrived back at the tent empty handed, out of breath and mouthing the single word, _Dementors_.

"But you can make a brilliant patronus!" protested Ron, not sparing Sirius even the slightest glance.

"I couldn't make one. It wouldn't come" I panted, clutching the stitch in my side as Sirius helped me into the closest chair.

Their expressions of consternation and disappointment made me feel ashamed. It had been a nightmarish experience, seeing the dementors gliding out of the mist in the distance and realizing, as the paralyzing cold choked my lungs and a distant screaming filled my ears, that I was not going to be able to protect myself.` It had taken all of my willpower to uproot myself from the spot and run, leaving the eyeless dementors to glide amongst the Muggles who might not be able to see them but would assuredly feel the despair they cast wherever they went.

"Are you alright?" Sirius asks softly, his hand lingering on the small of my back as he perched on the arm of the chair. I nod my head pathetically and shut my eyes in mortification.

"So we still haven't got any food" Ron inquires with a sour face. Sirius snaps his flaming blue gaze up to stare at him in disgusted shock.

"Shut up, Ron" snapped Hermione. "Harry, what happened? Why do you think you couldn't make your Patronus? You managed perfectly yesterday!"

"I don't know" I answer, keeping my eyes on Sirius's knees.

I can't help but feel more embarrassed by the moment. I'm afraid that something had gone wrong inside me. Yesterday seemed a long time ago: Today I might have been thirteen years old again, the only one who collapsed on the Hogwarts Express.

Ron kicked a chair leg.

"What" he snarled at Hermione. "I'm starving! All I've had since I bled half to death is a couple of toadstools!"

"You go and fight your way through the dementors" I say, stung.

"I would but my arm's in a sling, in case you haven't noticed!" he shouts, face turning red with anger.

"That's convenient" Sirius snarks, smirking darkly.

"And whats that supposed to – ?" Ron starts.

"Of course!" cried Hermione, clapping a hand to her forehead and startling all of us into silence. "Harry, give me the locket! Come on," she says impatiently, clicking her fingers at me when I didn't react, "the Horcrux, Harry, your still wearing it!"

She held out her hands, and I lifted the golden chain over my head. The moment it parted with my skin, I felt free and oddly light. I had not even realized that I was clammy or that there was a heavy weight pressing on my stomach until both sensations lifted.

"Better?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah, loads better!" I reply, smile blooming on my face.

"Harry" she said, couching down in front of me and using the kind of voice I associate with visiting the very sick, "you don't think you've been possessed, do you?"

"What? No!" I say defensively. "I remember everything we've done while I've been wearing it. I wouldn't know what I'd done if I'd been possessed, would I? Ginny told me there were times when she couldn't remember anything" I finish, looking at Sirius in confusion when he growls softly at Ginny's name.

"Hmm" Hermione says, looking down at the heavy locket. "Well, maybe we ought to not wear it. We can just keep it in the ten".

"We are not leaving that Horcrux lying around! If we lose it, if it gets stolen – " I stated a bit frantically.

"Oh, alright, alright" Hermione says, placing the Horcrux around her own neck and tucking it out of sight down the front of her shirt. "But we'll take turns wearing it, so nobody keeps it on too long"

"Great" said Ron irritably, "and now we've sorted that out, can we please get some food?"

"Fine, but we'll go somewhere else to find it" Sirius interjects with a half glance at me. "There's no point staying where we know dementors are swooping around"

In the end, we settled down for the night in a far-flung field belonging to a lonely farm, from which we managed to obtain eggs and bread – thanks to Sirius's hefty food finding experience.

"Its not stealing, is it?" Hermione says in a troubled voice, as we devoured scrambled eggs on toast.

"Er-my-nee, 'oo worry 'too much. 'Elax" Ron states, rolling his eyes with his cheeks bulging with food.

And indeed it was much easier to relax when they were comfortably well fed: The arguments about dreams and dementors were forgotten in laughter tonight, and I felt cheerful, as Sirius and I took the first of the three night watches

"Come 'ere" he whispers, settling down with his back against a tent pole and his hand outstretched. I smile brightly at him and allow myself to be pulled into his lap with my thighs on each side of his legs, facing him. I can see the feverish brightness of his eyes and feel the irrefutable realness of him between my legs. Perfect. Good thing we used magic to put up the tent or the whole ruddy thing would have crashed down with the weight resting on it.

" 'S nice" I sigh, resting my head on his shoulder and nuzzling the line of his jaw.

"Too right it is, love" Sirius rumbles, running his hands up and down my back.

I let the tension out of my body slowly, feeling the warmth of him seep into my skin like rolling waves. I'm rather ashamed to admit it, but I was a bit worried that he would be unwilling to recapture the intimacy of this morning, that we wouldn't want me after the rush of the first kisses were over with. To be completely honest, I still am but when he wraps his arms around me like this and makes those little contented mewling sounds in the back of his throat, I feel the emotion crush my chest and protest each thought of inadequacy that passes through my mind.

"So I've been thinking about some things…"Sirius starts, the rest of his sentence seeming to be stuck in is throat.

"That's never good" I tease, and try valiantly to keep the nervousness out of my voice. Remember how I just said that I had pushed self-depreciating thoughts from my mind? Well, that was rubbish. I think I might vomit if my stomach continues to clench in terror like that.

"Ha bloody Ha. Here I am, trying to be serious for once and you go and make fun of me" he sniffs, pouting adorably. Don't kiss him, Potter. He could be trying to let you down easy and then you would look like a complete boob.

"Terribly sorry, please do go on" I snicker, trying to hide my panic to the best of my abilities. No, now is not the time for a serious/Sirius joke. Keep it to yourself.

"Yes, well as I was saying…I have been thinking about some things and I cant help but feel that I might have been pressuring you into something you don't want…you know…with me. Ron told me how you were seeing Ginny and well I want you to know that whether or not you let me kiss you, I'll still be here with you. Did that make sense?" He rambles, frowning delicately.

Wait a tick. He thinks that he's pressuring me into kisses? If this wasn't so appalling, I would laugh my head off. Wasn't it just two weeks ago that Ron was telling me that it's alright to love Sirius? Now he goes and tells the man of my dreams that I am seeing his sister when he was standing directly behind me when I broke up with her. Bastard.

"Ok, firstly I am not seeing Ginny. So you can just forget all about anything Ron says because everything out of his mouth lately is complete rubbish. Secondly, you aren't pressuring me to do anything. I should be the one apologizing to you for being so needy and pushy lately. Please don't put this on you" I reply just a bit too loudly, breathless in my ferocity.

"So you don't mind the kissing?" he asks, voice brimming with insecurity. My poor, broken Sirius. He tries so hard to make people believe that he wasn't affected by Azkaban. I love him desperately.

"No, I don't mind the kissing. I've been trying to work up the courage to kiss you since the first night you were back" I say, sweeping my lips across the corner of his mouth in what I hope is a soothing gesture.

"Oh. Really?" he prods, a small glint of hope slipping into his eyes.

"Yes, really. I'd have to be insane not to want to kiss you" I coax, smiling sweetly at his awed expression.

"Well, I'm not what I used to be since… well, the years haven't exactly been kind to me and you are young and smart and gorgeous and the savior of the world. I mean, I didn't even know you liked blokes" he explains, refusing to meet my eyes. Azkaban strikes again. Bugger, I don't know how to fix these types of things. Guess I'll have to just go in head first and hope that I don't completely pants this up.

"Sirius Orion Black, look at me this instant" I exclaim loudly and his eyes snap up to lock with mine almost instantly in shock. I bet he thought I didn't know his middle name.

"I adore each and every thing about you. You are… I was searching for a more poetic way to say it but I'm coming up black…You're fucking hot. Always have been, always will be. And I don't care what I look like, or sexual persuasions or what people see me as because I can assure you that I will only ever want you" I pant out, cursing my bumbling idiocy each and every word. Well, that's the best I get at long winded speeches. Does anyone else seem to be picking up on the abundant amount of absurdly long proclamations?

"Harry…" he breathes, shutting his eyes tightly in what I hope is a good way. "You'd better tell me now if this is some joke or if you don't mean it in the way I'm going to take it because I will just fly into pieces if you take it back".

"Well, how are you taking it? Because I mean that I'm in love with you and want to be with you always" I blurt snappishly. As soon as I realize what I said, my mouth snaps shut with a slight click and I close my eyes as though in pain. Way to give away the whole bloody cow, Potter. You didn't even wait one full day of possible romantic involvement before spitting out your deepest desires. Cue the running and the screaming.

"Christ, Harry" Sirius croaks, delving into my eyes as thought to search for any falsehoods. I don't think I've ever been more sincere in my whole life, even if I didn't exactly mean to say it like that.

"Sorry" I mutter, averting my eyes in embarrassment. Yup, any minute now he'll evict me from the wondrous seat in his lap and scream all the way to Bulgaria.

"Don't you fucking dare apologize right now, Harry" he growls through a clenched jaw. Oh Merlin, that voice is enough to make me come in my pants like the teenager I am. Oh fuck, I've got to not remind him about that!

"I didn't want to say it like that" I reprise, stroking his shoulder in what would be a soothing manner if it weren't preformed by a hard, squirming 17 year old.

"How exactly did you want to say it?" he asks, keeping his teeth clenched together and suffering an agonized expression.

"Er…well, that actually is how I wanted to say it but I didn't mean to just blurt it out at you like that" I sigh, the enormity of the situation catching up in a swell of weariness and trepidation.

"Do you want this?" he demands, raking his eyes up to catch my own in a blazing, quivering exchange. _Work out your own salvation through fear and trembling._

"More than anything" I reply immediately, knowing innately that now is not the time to display anything resembling doubt or hesitance.

Sirius growls out something that could be my name before catching my lips in a searing kiss that curls my toes and breaks the breath from my lungs. His lips rub slowly against mine, keeping the pressure just under the desired level. I cling to his shoulders and pant air through my nose, all the while attempting to deepen the kiss to no avail. He just keeps up the insanely gentle caress of his mouth, moving his lips with mine beautifully. Again and again, he brushes against my mouth and I shudder, whine and paw at him in my desperation to taste the sweetness of his tongue sweeping mine.

After only a few moments, he pulls back to rain kisses on my face, hair and throat. He whispers my name like a prayer and traces the lines of my ribs through the fabric of my shirt.

"These woods are abominably lacking in the medicinal application of cold showers" he whispers, pressing his lips against my scar repeatedly. If I could form words, I would whole-heartedly agree. As it is, I can only manage a nod and a stroke of his hair. A person could become addicted to the feel of his silken curls sashaying through their fingers. Sirius is like a drug, pulsing and curling in your bloodstream until you can touch him just one more time. I can't help but feel a sense of elation that he hasn't run yet.

And so our watch shift was spent luxuriating in chaste kisses and deep embraces. We talked minimally, as though to preserve the little slice of heaven found within the rages of war. Hermione came out for her shift after a few hours and we went to bed together, curling into each other's warmth.

Hours passed into days, seamlessly and without transitional space in between. We all found out rather quickly that full stomachs equal good spirits; an empty one, bickering and gloom. Although Sirius and I remained as we have always been, on the same side of the building void between us and Hermione and Ron. I have always been used to the effects of an empty stomach due to the suffered periods of starvation at the Dursley's and Sirius seemed completely unfazed by the lack of consistent meals due to his year living in a ruddy cave. Hermione bore up reasonably well on those nights where we managed to scavenge nothing but berries or stale biscuits, her temper perhaps a little shorter than usual and her silences rather dour. Ron, however, had always been used to three delicious meals a day, courtesy of his mother or the Hogwarts house-elves, and hunger made him both unreasonable and irascible. Whenever lack of food coincided with Ron's turn to wear the Horcrux, he became downright unpleasant.

"So where next?" was his constant refrain. He did not seem to have any ideas himself but expected Sirius, Hermione and I to come up with plans while he sat and brooded over the lack of food supplies. Needless to say, Sirius's easy temper didn't mesh well with this new behavior and it took at least twenty minutes of lap-sitting and sweet kisses to calm him down enough to not throttle Ron. That's not to say that he didn't need it.

Hermione, Sirius and I spent fruitless hours trying to decide where we might find the other Horcurxes, and how to destroy the one we already have, our conversations becoming increasingly repetitive as we have absolutely no new information.

As Dumbledore told had told me that he believed that Voldemort had hidden the Horcruxes in places important to him, we kept reciting, in a sort of dreary litany, those locations we knew Voldemort had lived or visited. The orphanage where he had been born and raised; Hogwarts, where he had been educated; Borgin and Burkes, where he had worked after completing school; then Albania, where he had spent his years of exile: These formed into the basis of our speculations.

"Yeah, let's go to Albania. That shouldn't take more than an afternoon to search the entire country," said Ron sarcastically.

"There cant be anything there. He'd already made five of his Horcurxes before he went into exile, and Dumbledore was certain that the snake was the sixth," said Hermione. "We know the snake's not in Albania, its usually with Vol – "

"Didn't I ask you to stop saying that?" Ron hisses, face turning red with furry. Oh Merlin, I better grab onto Sirius to make sure he doesn't start wailing on him. I slide my fingers into his own, grounding both of us into a sort of calm indifference to anyone other than the two of us.

"FINE! The snake is usually with You-Know-Who – Happy?" she spits.

"Not particularly" he snarls, turning his face away from us.

"I cant see him hiding anything at Borgin and Burkes," Sirius inserts, rounding the conversation back onto Horcruxes before Ron ended up unconscious. "Borgin and Burke are experts at dark objects. They would've recognized a Horcrux straight away"

Ron yawned pointedly. Repressing a strong urge to throw something at him, I press on, "I still reckon that he might have hidden something at Hogwarts" I urge to Sirius… who seems to be the only one not staring petulantly at the walls of the tent.

Hermione sighed and glanced at me from the corner of her eyes.

"But Dumbledore would have found it, Harry" she insists. I repeated the argument I kept bringing out in favor of this theory.

"Dumbledore said in front of me that he never assumed he knew all of Hogwart's secrets. I'm telling you, if there's one place Vol – "

"OI!" bellows Ron, cutting me off from a rather good ramble.

"YOU-KNOW-WHO, then!" I shout back, goaded past endurance. "If there was one place that was really important to You-Know-Who, it was Hogwarts!"

"Oh come on," Ron scoffed. SCOFFED! "His school?"

"Yeah, his school! It was his first real home, the place that meant he was special; it meant everything to him and after he left – " I explain, pinching the bridge of my nose with my unoccupied hand. Sirius gave me an encouraging squeeze in response to my visible anger.

"This is You-Know-Who we're talking about, right? Not you?" he inquired, tugging at the chain of the Horcrux around his neck: I was suddenly visited, yet again, by the desire to seize it and throttle him.

"You told us that You-Know-Who asked Dumbledore to give him a job after he left," Sirius says, squeezing my hand again to get my attention.

"That's right" I reply, giving him a brief smile of gratitude.

"And Dumbledore thought he only wanted to come back to try and find something, probably another founder's object, to make into another Horcrux?" he continues, raising an eyebrow at the weary slump to my shoulders.

"Yeah" I say.

"But he didn't get the job, did he?" said Hermione. "So he never got the chance to find a founder's object there and hide it in the school!"

"Okay, then," I sigh, defeated. "Forget Hogwarts."

"Alright, enough of this. Harry, come with me to find something to eat" Sirius interjects, tugging me by our entwined hands into a standing position and out of the tent. As we were walking though the opening, I could have sworn I heard Ron say something to our backs, but Sirius wouldn't let me turn around to inquire after it so it must have been a bit rude.

"What are we after tonight, then?" I ask with a sigh, already relaxing outside the hostile atmosphere of the tent… and Ron's nasty presence.

"A good snog and maybe we'll get lucky and find some bloody meat" he replies, pulling me into his arms and kissing me breathless. Yes, this is exactly what I needed. Some Sirius – Harry time. I would have gone mad days ago if I didn't have him to soothe my ragged nerves.

As his lips seal over mine, I let out a silent prayer to whoever was listening to allow me to keep him with me forever. Unreasonable, yes, but that doesn't stop me from wanting it.

* * *

A/N: Terribly sorry for the delay. I was a bit distracted by my discovery of Sirry_Slash on Livejournal. Brilliant, that! Anyhoo, this chapter was a bit more difficult than I anticipated but I hope I made it work none the less. PLEASE REVIEW! I want to know what you guys think about what I should do in regards to Ron leaving the group. I'm thinking about having Hermione leave with him. REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS!!

Oceans of Love,

~Kitty


	10. Chapter 10

Misery Loves Company  
Rating: MA – Eventually  
Authors Notes: This story will encompass the entire seventh book from the time spent at Grimmauld Place to the Battle for Hogwarts with one exception. Siri is back from behind the veil and will eventually be with Harry. Ginny can sit and spin for all I care and will not be included in this story except in passing. Hope you will allow a few artistic liberties I will have to take to make the plot fit with my revisions. Thanks for reading! REVIEW PLEASE!  
Warnings: Harry/Sirius. This is Slash people!! Don't like, don't read. Simple.

"Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one's life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one's side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart it's pages betrayed the rhythm and the music; perhaps . . . perhaps . . . love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath." – Lucy Maud Montgomery

**Misery Loves Company  
****Chapter Ten****  
**By: Kitty

"Harry, what's wrong?" Sirius whispers sleepily, tightening his arm around my waist. The hand that wasn't scrabbling at my scar was clenched tightly on his forearm in an attempt to pull myself from the latest vision.

"Scar. Hurts" I pant out, trying to take deep breaths through my nose.

"What happened? What did you see?" he asks, voice gently and soft, fully awake now.

"Gregorovitch is dead, he killed him" I croak, squeezing my eyes shut as another wave of pain crashes against the inside of my skull.

"Voldemort killed the wandmaker? Why?" he muses, sweeping hair out of my eyes sweetly.

"He wanted to find something. He asked him to hand it over, but Gregorovitch said that it had been stolen from him… and then… then he read Gregorovitch's mind and I saw this young bloke perched on a windowsill, and he fired at curse at Gregorovitch and jumped out of sight. He stole it, he stole whatever Voldemort was after. And I… I think I've seen him somewhere…" I bumble, wishing that I could see another glimpse of the laughing boy's face. The theft had happened many years ago, according to Gregorovitch. Why did the young thief look familiar?

The noises of the surrounding woods were muffled inside the tent; all I could hear was Sirius's deep breaths. After a while, Sirius whispered, "Couldn't you see what the thief was holding?"

"No… it must have been very small" I reply, tracing the crease of his elbow.

"Harry, do you reckon that Voldemort is after something else to turn into a Horcrux?" Sirius breaths against my ear as though to ensure no one else was privy to the question.

"I don't know" I say slowly. "Maybe. But wouldn't it be dangerous for him to create another one? Didn't Hermione say that he had pushed his soul to the limit already?"

"Yes, but maybe he doesn't know that" he suggests, tracing circles on my stomach with gently fingertips.

"Yeah… maybe" I say. I had been sure that Voldemort had been looking for a way around the problem of the twin cores of our wands, sure that Voldemort sought a solution from the wandmaker… and yet he had killed him without asking a single question about wandlore. What was Voldemort trying to find? Why, with the Ministry of Magic and the Wizarding world at his feet, was he far away, intent on the pursuit of an object that Gregorovitch had once owned and which had been stolen by the unknown thief?

I can still see the blond-haired youth's face: It was merry, wild; there was a Fred and George-ish air of triumphant trickery about him. He had soared from the windowsill like a bird, and I had seen him before, but I cannot think where…

"Try and go back to sleep, love. You've got to keep up your strength" Sirius coos, pulling me more firmly against him and settling his head down on the pillow.

"Course. Night" I lie, turning my head to give him a quick kiss on the corner of his mouth and letting the smell of him right next to me lull my senses into a dull sort of trance.

With Gregorovitch dead, it was the merry-faced thief who was in danger now, and it was on him who my mind lingered on. As Sirius's breath evened out in sleep and I myself drifted slowly into the blackness of slumber, the face of that doomed young man loomed in front of me like a beckon.

* * *

As per usual, in the morning we all got up and packed away the campsite and disguised any traces of our presence here. Without any new leads, we traveled into London and, hidden beneath the Invisibility Cloak, searched for the orphanage in which Voldemort had been raised. Hermione stole into a library and discovered from their records that the place had been demolished many years before. We visited it's site and found a tower block of offices.

"We could try digging in the foundations" Hermione suggested halfheartedly.

"He wouldn't have hidden a Horcrux here" I say. I had known all along that the orphanage had been the place Voldemort had been determined to escape; he would never have hidden a part of his soul here. Dumbledore had shown me that Voldemort sought grandeur or mystique in his hiding places; this dismal gray corner of London was as far removed as you could imagine Hogwarts or the Ministry or a building like Gringotts, the Wizarding bank, with its golden doors and marble floors.

Even without any new ideas, we continued to move throughout the countryside, pitching our tent in endless amounts of lonely and secluded spots, traveling by Apparition to more woods, to the shadowy crevices of cliffs, to purple moors, gorse-covered mountainsides, and once a sheltered and pebbly cove. Every twelve hours or so we passed the Horcrux between the four of us as if we were playing some perverse, slow-motion game of pass-the-parcel, where we dreaded the stopping of the music because the reward was twelve hours of increased fear and anxiety.

My scar continued to prickle frustratingly. I noticed that it happened more often when I was wearing the Horcrux. Sometimes I could not stop myself from reacting to the pain. Sirius would fix me a cup of tea and sit me in his lap, stroking my hair and neck, each time I flinched indicatively. Sirius has gotten extremely perceptive to the kinds of wincing faces I make because he always seems to know if its from something Ron or Hermione said or if it was from my scar.

"What? What did you see?" Demanded Ron endlessly, each and every time Sirius would pull me into the 'scar embrace'.

"A face," I murmer, every time. "The same face. The thief who stole from Gregorovitch."

And Ron would turn away, making no attempt to hide his disappointment. I know that Ron was hoping to hear news of his family or the rest of the Order of the Phoenix, but afterall, I wasn't a television aerial; I can only see what Voldemort is thinking at the time, not to tune in to whatever takes my fancy. Apparently Voldemort was dwelling endlessly on the unknown youth with the gleeful face, whose name and whereabouts, I felt sure, Voldemort knew no more than I myself did. As the days wore into weeks, I began to suspect that Ron and Hermione were having conversations without, and about, Sirius and I. Several times they stopped talking abruptly when Sirius and I entered the tent, and twice we came accidentally upon them, huddled a little distance away, heads together and talking fast; both times they fell silent when they realized that we were approaching them and hastened to appear busy collecting wood or water.

The fighting seemed to be a constant, stinging reminder of the void that was growing between 'Us' and 'Them'. Each and every argument was started by either Ron or Hermione who were wilting under the conditions of hopelessness and fatigue. So, it came as a great surprise when Ron and Hermione were fighting about Hermione's cooking that Sirius jerked onto his feet and shouted at them to 'Shut up NOW'.

"I can hear someone" he hissed, making his way to the opening of the tent.

"You cast the Muffliato charm over us, right?" I asked quietly, creeping to stand beside Sirius.

"I did everything. Muffliato, Muggle repelling and Dissillusionment Charms, all of it. They shouldn't be able to see or hear us, whoever they are" he replies, placing his hand on the small of my back.

As we all listened raptly, we discovered that most people think that I have run off out of fear, Ted Tonks had refused to register as a Muggle-Born, Dean Thomas had fled when he had no proof of having wizarding blood, two goblins named Griphook and Gornuk were on the run for some unknown reason and the Quibbler was the place to find accurate information about the war. The most interesting thing however was the discovery that not only is the sword of Gryffindor that resided in Headmaster Snape's office a fake, but Ginny, Neville and Luna had tried to steal it only to be caught by Snape as they were getting it down the stairs. The students were punished with a detention with Hagrid in the Forbidden Forest.

After a round of deciding to sleep in the forest, the group moved away from us and we all slunk back to our seats with thoughtful expressions. Hermione was so interested in knowing more information that she retrieved Phineas Nigellus's portrait from her purple clutch and probed, blackmailed and nagged him into talking about the incident. The would-be thiefs were sent to the forbidden forest where they most likely had a cuppa and a laugh with Hagrid, so no stress there. Apparently, any Goblin made silver repels dirt, imbibing only that which strengthens it. In one last attempt to get Sirius's great great grandfather to not insult everyone within earshot, he gathered that the last time the real sword was removed from the case before a forgery was planted, was when Dumbledore took it down to destroy the Horcrux ring. And with that, he vanished from his portrait completely, leaving behind nothing but his murky backdrop.

"Harry!" Hermione cried.

"I know!" I shout back, almost jumping up and down in my excitement. I settled with launching myself at Sirius while he punched the air in victory. This was more than we dared to hope for!

"The sword can destroy Horcruxes! Goblin-made blades imbibe only that which strengthens them – Harry, that sword's impregnated with Basilisk venom!" she squeals, shoving the empty portrait back in the beaded clutch.

"And Dumbledore didn't give it to me because he still needed it, he wanted to use it on the locket – "

" – and he must have realized that they wouldn't just let you have it if he put it in his will – "

" – so he had a copy made – "

" – and put a fake in the glass case – "

" – and he left the real one – where?"

We gazed at eachother; I felt that the answer was dangling invisibly in the air above us, tantalizingly close. Why hadn't Dumbledore told me? Or had he, in fact, told me, but I had not realized it at the time.

"Not at Hogwarts"

"Not in the Shrieking Shack because Snape knows how to get in"

"Dumbledore trusted Snape"

"Not enough to tell him that he swapped swords"

"Yes! Your right!"

"So, would he have hid the sword away from Hogsmeade then? What d'you reckon, Ron?" Hermione finishes, looking around the room and for a moment I thought Ron had left the tent but then realized that Ron was lying in the shadow of his bed, looking stony. Sirius and I share a knowing glance, one that says that we have seen this expression on his face many times before… right before the shouting.

"Oh, remembered me, have you" he said, curling his lip.

"What?" Hermione stumbles, looking troubled by his nasty tone.

"You all carry on, don't let me spoil your fun" said Ron, staring up at the canvas 'roof'.

Perplexed, I look to Sirius and Hermione, who both just shook their heads, apparently just as nonplussed as I am.

"What's the problem?" I ask.

"Problem? There's no problem" said Ron, still refusing to look at me or the others. "Not according to you, anyway."

There were several plunks on the canvas as it began to rain.

"Well, you've obviously got a problem. Spit it out, will you?" Snarled Sirius, completely unimpressed by Ron's continued bad mood. Ron swung his long legs off his bed and sat up. He looked mean, unlike himself.

"All right, I'll spit it out. Don't expect me to skip up and down the tent because there's some other damn thing we've got to find. Just add it to the list of stuff that you don't know" he spits, glaring daggers at _me_ as though the entire situation was my fault.

"I don't know? I DON'T KNOW?" I repeated, feeling the rage swell inside my chest and pound at me in desire to express itself.

Plonk, plonk, plonk. The rain was falling harder and heavier; it pattered on the leaf strewn bank all around us and into the river chattering through the dark. I was doused with dread. Ron was saying exactly what I had suspected and feared him to be thinking.

"Its not like I'm having the time of my life out here" said Ron, "you know, with my arm mangled and nothing to eat and freezing my backside off every night. I just hoped that, you know, after we'd been running around a few weeks, we'd have achieved something."

"Ron" said Hermione, but her tone was so soft that Ron could pretend not to have heard it over the loud tattoo the rain was now beating on the tent.

"I thought you knew what you were signing up for" I say, icily.

"Yeah, I thought I did too" he spits.

"So what part of it isn't living up to your expectations?" asks Sirius sarcastically, Black family scowl on his face. "Did you think we'd be staying in five-star hotels? Finding a Horcrux every other day? Did you think you'd be back to mommy by Christmas?"

"We thought Harry knew what he was doing!" Shouted Ron, standing up and his word pierced me like scalding knives. "We thought Dumbledore told you what to do, we thought you had a real plan!" He finished, glaring between Sirius and I with a look of disgust firmly on his red face.

"Ron!" admonished Hermione, this time clearly audible over the rain thundering on the tent roof but again he ignored her. Sirius was looking more furious by the second, ashen faced and clenching his hands into fists at his side.

"Well, sorry to let you down" I say, my voice quite calm even though I felt hallow, inadequate. "I've been straight with you from the start, I told you everything Dumbledore told me. And in case you haven't noticed, we've found one Horcrux – "

"Yeah, and we're about as near getting rid of it as we are to finding the rest of them – nowhere effing near, in other words!" he growls with a scoff.

"Ron, take off the locket" Sirius says, voice even and deathly low.

"Yes, of course! You wouldn't be talking like this if you weren't wearing it" Hermione inserts, her voice unnaturally high and pleading.

"Yeah, he would" I say, not wanting to have excuses made for Ron while he spits filth all over the three of us. "Do you think I haven't noticed the two of you whispering behind our backs? D'you think I didn't guess that you were thinking this stuff?"

"Harry, we weren't – "

"Don't lie!" Ron hurled at her. "You said it too, you said you were disappointed, you said you'd thought he had a bit more to go on than – "

"I didn't say it like that – Harry, I didn't!" She cried.

The rain was pounding the tent, tears were pouring down Hermione's face, and the excitement of only a few minutes ago had vanished as if it had never been. The sword of Gryffindor was hidden and we didn't know where, and we were just three teenagers and a recently presumed dead, escaped convict whose only achievement was not, yet, to be dead.

"So why are you still here?" I snarl at Ron, my control had snapped and I know that the next thing out of his mouth had better be a goodbye or an apology or by Merlin, I'll hex him.

"Search me" he spits back.

"Go home then" Sirius supplies, smirking darkly in a rather pure-blood Black way.

"Yeah, maybe I will" shouted Ron, and he took several steps toward me and it took a great deal to stay where I was. "Didn't you hear what they said about my sister? But you don't give a rat's fart, do you, its only the forbidden forest, Harry _I've-Faced-Worse_ Potter doesn't care what happens to her in there – well I do, all right, giant spiders and mental stuff – "

"I was only saying – she was with the others, they were with Hagrid – "

"Yeah, I get it, you don't care! You don't bloody care now that you have Sirius back! And what about the rest of the family, 'the Weasleys don't need another kid injured, did you hear that?" he rant, causing Sirius to take a dangerous step towards him at the mention of his name in the argument. I take hold of his arm and tug him back to me before he takes away the honor of hexing the retarded out of him!

"Ron, I don't think it means anything new has happened, anything we don't already know about. Bill's already scarred, plenty of people have seen that George has lost an ear by now. And you're supposed to be on your deathbed with spattergroit, I'm sure that's all he meant – " Hermione says, stepping to put her hand on Ron's arm to keep him from reaching into his trouser pocket to get his wand. No use trying that on Sirius, considering that he already has his wand in hand and ready to curse him at the briefest mention of impropriety with our behavior.

"Oh, your sure, are you? Right then, well, I wont bother myself about them. Its all right for you three, isn't it, with your parents safely out of the way – " Ron hisses, looking wildly around him for an ally.

"MY PARENTS ARE DEAD" I bellow, clutching reflexively to Sirius for support, who had gone rigid and was snapping loudly at the mention of Lilly and James Potter.

"OI! Keep that rabid mutt away from me!" Ron yells frantically, seeing the crazed prisoner that was depicted on all those posters in third year. Blue eyes glazed with rage, face taught with the effort of holding the curses off from the tip of his tongue.

"Not the best topic, Ron" I say darkly, glancing worriedly at Sirius to ensure his wand says down at his side, at the very least.

"My parents could be dying too, you know!" Ron yelled again, face distorting with his anger.

"Then GO" Sirius roars, manic fury reaching critical mass and exploding out in the angriest voice I have ever heard in my life. And that's saying a lot, coming from the kid who used to live with Vernon Dursley. "Go back to your mommy, BOY. You can pretend that you got over your spattergroit and Mummy'll be able to feed you up and – "

Ron made an abrupt movement towards his wand but before Sirius could fire off even so much as a jelly-legs jinx, Hermione had raised her own.

"Protego!" she cried, and an invisible shield expanded between her and Ron on the other side of Sirius and I; all of us were forced backward a few steps by the strength of the spell, and Ron and Sirius glared from either side of the transparent barrier as though they were seeing each other clearly for the first time. I felt a corrosive hatred toward Ron: Something had been broken between us and I don't think I can ever think of him the same way.

"Leave the Horcrux" I snarl.

Ron wrenched the chain from over his head and cast the locket into a nearby chair. He turned to Hermione.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"What do you mean?" she counters, looking at him with something akin to envy and understanding.

"Are you staying, or what?" he asks, face expectant.

"I don't – " she whispers, glancing at Sirius and I with sympathy painted in her eyes. "I promised that I'd go and help but I just cant – "

"By all means, Hermione, go with him. We can manage as long as you leave you little bag… since it is all my stuff in there" I say softly, with just enough bite to make it easier for her to leave.

"Too right you are, Harry! You two just simper back under Molly's skirt now" Sirius mocks as Hermione throws down her clutch and walks to stand next to Ron with an unreadable expression. Ron's face was radiant with joy over her choice as he took her arm and led her out of the tent with a superior upturning of his nose.

"Have fun" Ron shouts, waving over his shoulder as he leads Hermione past the wall of enchantments and Disapparates away with a pop.

Heaving myself from my spot, I snatch the Horcrux off the chair and place it around my neck. Without a word, Sirius opens his arms and takes me into a fierce hug, kissing my temple gently.

"Sorry, kitten. I guess my temper go the better of me" he whispers into my hair, squeezing me tightly in apology.

"Don't blame you, Siri. I'm just so incredibly glad you're here" I whisper back, pressing my face into the curtain of his hair and breathing deep.

"I wouldn't be anywhere else" he replies, leading me to our bed, pulling the covers off of Ron's mattress and wrapping us in them. With a sweet kiss, we settle back to listen to the rain patter against the roof together.

* * *

A/N: Phew! That was a long one! Just a little warning, from now on there will be some cannon changes beyond what I have already had to do. So I hope no one will crucify me for straying too much. Had to get them out of the tent so that Harry and Sirius could be 'alone'. *wink wink* IF YOU WOULD LIKE A STEAMY CHAPTER, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!

Oceans of Love,  
~Kitty


	11. Chapter 11

Misery Loves Company  
Rating: MA – Eventually  
Authors Notes: This story will encompass the entire seventh book from the time spent at Grimmauld Place to the Battle for Hogwarts with one exception. Siri is back from behind the veil and will eventually be with Harry. Ginny can sit and spin for all I care and will not be included in this story except in passing. Hope you will allow a few artistic liberties I will have to take to make the plot fit with my revisions. Thanks for reading! REVIEW PLEASE!  
Warnings: Harry/Sirius. This is Slash people!! Don't like, don't read. Simple.

"Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one's life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one's side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart it's pages betrayed the rhythm and the music; perhaps . . . perhaps . . . love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath." – Lucy Maud Montgomery

**Misery Loves Company  
****Chapter Eleven****  
**By: Kitty

Morning came with gray skies and pouring rain and hardly any light bled through the canvas tent. Sitting up in bed, I notice Sirius standing at the stove cooking breakfast and whistling softly.

"I didn't know you could cook" I supply, syllables still clumsy and voice scratchy with sleep.

"There are quite a few things you don't know about me, kitten" he purrs, arching an elegant eyebrow suggestively. Oh sweet Merlin, people like Sirius should not say things like that. It is completely distracting and could, quite possibly, cause an aneurysm. I manage to grunt out something that I hope sounded as though I was just sleepy and not a complete bumbling idiot.

Removing myself from the nest of blankets, I glance towards the empty beds that should have held Hermione and Ron. Childishly, I had hoped that last night had all just been a terrible nightmare and they would still be here. Alas, that is not the case, they left and they aren't coming back. I knew that was the simple truth of it, because our protective enchantments meant that it would be impossible, once we vacated this spot, for them to find us again. The only thing I could think of to console myself was that at least Sirius loves me enough to stay and tough it out. Not like I had any doubt that he would stay, but it's nice to have a bit of proof.

"If you get washed up, you can get some breakfast and then maybe we can find a nice, cozy cave somewhere" Sirius says, interrupting my depressing thoughts.

"Right, sorry. I'll be back in a tick" I rush out, scrambling to get to the wash room and make myself look like less of a wreck. I change, scrub and style in less then five minutes and emerge from the closed off area to find a lovely egg and sausage breakfast set out for me. I cant help but smile at Sirius's proud face and dig in with a vengeance.

"How did you get all this?" I ask with a hint of incredulousness in my tone. His lips twitch in a suppressed smirk and it only serves to increase my interest.

"I might have borrowed the Invisibility Cloak and went to a supermarket" he says with a wince and a nervous smile.

"You were certainly busy this morning" I comment dryly, taking a sip of my tea and trying to keep the smile from blooming on my face. I should be angry, furious even, but right now I am so touched by his thoughtfulness that I just cant find the anger inside the flood of gratefulness. It is just so amazingly sweet that he is trying to make me feel better by feeding me and suggesting caves instead of another field. I adore him.

"You aren't going to yell?" he asks, shocked. I cant help but laugh at the look on his face.

"Not right now" I say once I have sobered enough.

"This is going to come back in two years and bite me in the butt" he mutters into his eggs, devouring his food as quickly as his mouth and hands will let him.

"Probably, yes" I reply with a smirk.

"All right, enough fun at my expense. Let's pack up and hit the road… figuratively of course" he quips, raising and spelling the dishes clean.

"Yes, sir" I gripe, pulling a mock pout until he leans forward to kiss it away, tenderly brushing our lips together briefly and flashing me a smile that lightens his eyes beautifully.

"Get a move on" he smirks, giving my arse a good swat as I pass him. Squawking about abuse, I pack up all the loose things and I eventually get the tent down and packed away while Sirius cleanses the area of our presence. Finally ready to leave, Sirius grabs me around the waist and Disapparates with a crack.

After the fantastic feeling of being squeezed within an inch of my life, we arrive outside a little cove by the ocean. The waves are crashing behind us, rain pounding down from above us but the concave structure itself looks dry and perfect. I grin up at Sirius and nod my approval.

"Come on, you know the drill" Sirius says, moving to cast his enchantments around us while I get the tent up again. The tedium is a bit comforting in the face of all these changes, and I welcome this mundane task in favor of stewing in the stinging comments made last night that I am sure will haunt my nightmares for a while.

I am unable to hide it from myself: Ron was right. Dumbledore had left me with virtually nothing. We have discovered one Horcrux, but we have no means of destroying it: The others were as unattainable as they had ever been. Hopelessness is swimming around, waiting to consume me. I am staggered now to think of my own presumption in accepting my friend's offers to accompany me on this meandering, pointless journey. I know nothing, have no new ideas, and am constantly, painfully on the alert for any indication that Sirius too was about to tell me that he had had enough, that he was leaving.

We spent the afternoon in near silence, Sirius hunched over Hermione's copy of The Tales of Beetle the Bard with Spellman's Syllabary lying open on the arm of the chair. I try to busy myself with a few of the books we had from the Black library and crossing my fingers in a weak attempt to coax luck in our favor. I don't know why on earth Sirius is reading that silly book, its just a children's story book – like The Brothers Grimm for muggles. I grew tired of the books before evening drew in and I busied myself with transfiguring the purple clutch into something a tick more manly. Maybe a nice masculine briefcase…

"What in Godric's name are you doing?" Sirius asks with a chuckle, lifting his head to look at me in amusement.

"Just fiddling around" I mumble, feeling my face flush sheepishly.

"Have you given up on those?" he inquires, pointing to the discarded books next to me on the settee.

"Er… for now, at least" I reply, shrugging. Ok, a small twinge of guilt… Sirius slaving over books while I sit and fiddle with making a clutch not so girly.

"Well, come over here and sit with me while I finish reading one last story before dinner" he suggests, squirming in his chair to make a more discernable lap. I let the smile steal across my face and wiggle myself into his lap with a small sigh of satisfaction. "See now, isn't this much better than sitting all by yourself and looking at me every thirty seconds?" he stage-whispers, wrapping an arm around me.

"I wasn't looking at – "

"Yes you were. You were feeling left out" he teases, pressing a kiss to my temple to hide his smirk.

"I was not!" I squawk, swatting at his arm playfully.

"Mhm, course not. Now, settle in for a story" he chuckles, maneuvering me into a more comfortable position so that I can rest my cheek on his shoulder. I huff dramatically but otherwise allow him to do what he wants with me. Sirius deemed it worth his efforts to read me the entire 'Babbitty Rabbitty and her Cackling Stump'. Apparently every wizarding child had been read these stories growing up and it was nice to experience the tradition – even if it was 17 years too late.

As he finished his story, he went to shut the book when he stopped short and frowned, looking down on the next page. His face was twisted with a new idea as he stared at what looked to be the first page of a story called 'The Tale of Three Brothers'.

"Look at that symbol," he said, pointing to the top of a page. Above what I assume is the title of the story (being unable to read runes, I can't be sure), there was a picture of what looked like a triangular eye, its pupil crossed with a vertical line. "I've been trying to figure it out all afternoon".

"I never took Ancient Runes, Siri."

"I know that, but it isn't a rune and it's not in the syllabary, either. At first I thought it was a picture of an eye, but I don't think it is. It's been inked in, look, somebody's drawn it there, it isn't really part of the book. Think, have you ever seen it before?"

"No … No, wait a moment." I say as I looked closer. "Isn't it the same symbol Luna's dad was wearing round his neck?"

"Well, I couldn't tell you, Harry. When did you see Luna's dad?"

"Oh, at Bill and Flur's wedding this summer. Sorry, I… well. He was wearing it around his neck. Krum got really upset about it and told me about how it was disrespectful to be wearing it" I say, the gears turning in my head to summon the conversation again.

"Disrespectful? Hmm. Did he tell you what the symbol meant?" he asks, eyebrows drawing together.

"He said that it's Grindelwald's mark."

Sirius stared at me, openmouthed.

"_What_?"

"Krum told me …"

I recounted the story that Viktor Krum had told me at the wedding. Sirius looked astonished.

"_Grindelwald's _mark?"

He looked from me to the weird symbol and back again. "I've never heard that Grindelwald had a mark. There's no mention of it in anything I've ever read or was taught about him."

"Since when do you read?" I ask with a smirk

"I too went to school where I had to occasionally do my own work… when Moony wouldn't do it for me" he exclaims with an afflicted expression, trailing off at my raised eyebrow. I smile in victory.

"Well, like I say, Krum reckoned that symbol was carved on a wall at Durmstrang, and Grindelwald put it there."

He leaned into the back of the old armchair, frowning.

"That's very odd. If it's a symbol of Dark Magic, what's it doing in a book of children's stories?" he muses, rubbing little circles on my back absentmindedly.

"Well, that was Dumbledore's book. He left it to Hermione when he…died" I force out, pushing down the lump that wanted to crawl in my throat at the mention of Dumbledore's death. "Maybe he drew it in."

"But you just said that Krum – and probably all of Durmstrang – thinks that's Grindelwald's mark. Why would Albus draw in the mark of someone he…defeated?" Sirius just stops, looking for all the world as though he were deeply unsettled. That would make two of us.

"I don't know" I whisper needlessly. I feel another surge of anger at the reminder of our situation. Dumbledore left me with no clues, barely any knowledge and even less hope. I have nothing to go on, and even armed with the knowledge that he might have left the sword somewhere for us to find, I've no idea where he would have left it. Sometimes when I think about it too hard, I can barely keep myself from hating him.

"Hey, don't worry. Everything's going to work out, I just know it" Sirius coos, automatically recognizing my stiff posture for distress.

"I didn't know you were such an optimist" I say sarcastically, but as soon as the words are out, I wish I could take them back. Way to go Potter, push away the only person who is actually still here. But Sirius has never reacted to things like normal people; he throws his head back and barks a laugh, tugging me tighter against his chest and kissing my cheek.

"It's my deep dark secret. It wasn't just turning into a dog that kept me from losing my mind in Azkaban – it was my stunning optimism" he says, still chortling in to my hair.

"I wonder how I could have missed that all these years" I snark, tracing his jaw line with little kisses. I can feel the deep vibrations of his laugh cut through my skin and sizzle along my nerve endings.

There is poetry written in the pink slash of his smile, the faint lines around his eyes when he laughs, the fleeting glance of tattoos above the collar of his shirt and I have to firmly suppress the urge to lick, kiss and otherwise molest every inch of him.

"You were much too busy to spend any time with your poor godfather" bemoaned Sirius, clutching at his heart with a pained expression.

"Sirius, you were never poor and it was more like you were too busy for me" I tease, pinching his arm affectionately. He laughs then and I cant help but think how young he looks when a smile brightens his normally somber features. I can see the man who stood up as best man at my parents wedding, the man who knows more about me than I do, the strongest man I know. Holy Merlin, I love him.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" Sirius asks, frowning as he brings a hand up to check if he has anything on his face. I cant help the giggle that breaks free and his frown deepens as a small smile plays on his lips. "What?" He finishes with a whine.

"I love you so much" I whisper, winding my arms about his shoulders and pressing my face into the silken curls playing around his shoulders.

"Love you too, Harry" he croaks. He hugs me tightly to him and I think I might have heard a sniffle but I could have been wrong.

"I think it might be time for dinner" I say at last, breaking the hug after a few minutes. He grins crookedly and nods eagerly. I feel myself smile at his antics and I push him firmly into the chair and promise him that I will make dinner tonight.

Frying a bit of ground beef, vegetables and a minuscule amount of potato, I try to imagine each and every place that Dumbledore might have hidden the sword. I get all through making dinner without any new ideas at all. I don't know how on earth I am supposed to defeat Voldemort when I cant even muster enough knowledge to be with someone I love properly. My knowledge of relationships is notably vague but add in the fact that this is a relationship with a man who has probably been with countless men and women and you get a very daunting reality.

"I can't imagine that needing anymore time on the fire, love" Sirius interjects softly, twining his arms around my waist and placing a kiss on the side of my throat. For a brief moment I lean back into him, simply to breathe his presence in, before turning the burner off and dishing up the humble meal.

We chatter through our mouthfuls of scarce pickings and let the conversation drift to our next possible locations. While I cant think of anywhere else I would rather go than Godric's Hollow, I attempt to kick my higher thinking into gear and suggest some places as I muster the guts to ask him to go to the place where my parents died. I don't find the courage to bring it up, though, for I know just how much he must not want those memories to resurface. It must be horrible enough to live with those memories, let alone have someone come prancing along and make you go back to the place that your nightmares feed on. He notices the apprehension written plainly on my face, but bless him, he doesn't say anything about it.

"What do you think?" he asks suddenly, and for a few moments I don't realize that he is asking me a question. Oops.

"Pardon?" I squeak, blinking at him in confusion. What was the question… Think, damn it!

"I asked you what you thought would be the best place to camp tomorrow" he explains with a small frown. I must be worrying him with my lack of focus.

"It doesn't matter to me, Siri. You can pick" I mutter, fighting at the blush that is creeping up my neck.

"Ok, let's have it" Sirius demands, throwing down his napkin on the table and leaning back in his chair in preparation to hear my newest problem. Merlin, I am so fucked up. Why cant I just let myself be moderately happy for once? I mean, I have Sirius back, we are alone on a sort of camping trip which in some circles could be considered a romantic get-away… you know if we weren't being hunted down my a mass murderer… and all I can think about is going to see my parent's graves.

"I think we should go to Godric's Hollow" I blurt, squeezing my eyes shut for the oncoming shouting and emotional display.

"Yes, yes I really think we'll have to" he sighs, drawing a weary hand over his face in exhaustion.

"Did you hear me right?" I say incredulously, my eyebrows climbing into my hairline in surprise.

"Of course I did. You want to go to Godric's Hollow, I agree. It'll be dangerous but the more I think about it the more I really think that its there" he elaborates, voice low and estranged as though he were actively keeping his tone clinical.

"Er – what's there?" I inquire, completely put off by his apathy and the apparent location of a random object that I didn't even know we were talking about.

"The sword, Harry" he says with a slight quirk of his lips.

"Gryffindor's sword?" I exclaim, eyes widening comically.

"Well, that is where Godric Gryffindor was born, and Dumbledore must have known that you'd want to go there" he prods gently with a sad smile.

"We don't have to… I don't want you to have to… Sirius,…" I babble helplessly, my eyes pleading with him to understand what I am unable to say.

"Come over here, kitten" he croons thickly, and there is a deep sadness in his swirling gray depths that seems to radiate out of him in slacking waves. My feet carry me to the other side of the table without my express permission to do so and he opens his arms and enfolds me within them as I straddle the chair and his legs.

"Siri – " I start, only to be cut off as he sweeps a gentle kiss over my lips. Oh Merlin, that's cheating! A person is just wiped clean of thought whenever Sirius Black kisses them… and he knows it. He pulls back much too quickly for my liking, giving me only teasing brushes of his mouth until I am about to fly into a million pieces with a pulsing need for him to kiss me properly.

"I always knew I would have to go back eventually and there is no one I would rather go with than someone who it means just as much to" he whispers hoarsely, his lips brushing against mine with every word. I gaze into his eyes unwaveringly, trying with all my might to see any sign of apprehension flittering across his dazzling orbs.

"It wont be easy" I breathe once I see the clear determined set to his shoulders and jaw. When Sirius gets that look, there is no talking him out of it.

"That's alright, what's life without a little risk?" he quotes, wry smile playing about his lips tantalizingly. Would it be an appropriate time to kiss him within an inch of his life? Probably not. Bugger.

"We'll have to use the Polyjuice and the cloak and quite possibly fight through some heavy defensive enchantments…" I ramble off, counting each obstacle off on my fingers and growing more anxious every second.

"Shush. We'll do alright, I know it" he sooths, rubbing my hipbone with his thumbs in little circles.

"We have to plan – "

"Harry, I don't think you've drawn proper breath since I said we could go, so just breathe deep and tomorrow we'll plan the whole thing out to a tee. I promise. Now, go sit down and relax while I clean up" He directs, pushing me gently out of his lap so that he can get at the dirty plates on the table.

"Ok" I mumble, shuffling to the couch with a forlorn expression. I really want to be concerned about visiting Godric's Hollow, about Voldemort, about my friends that are suffering at Hogwarts with Snape as Headmaster but all I can think to worry about is why Sirius won't kiss me for more than three seconds at a time.

He did say that he wanted to practice restraint, that he didn't want to rush, but that doesn't exactly make me feel any better about the whole thing. Well, if he won't kiss me the way I want him to, then I will have to take the initiative and do it myself.

"What are you thinking so hard on?" Sirius asks, plopping down on the cushion next to me with an air of casual elegance that he has always seemed to possess.

"You" I say simply, the corners of my lips turning up at the confusion and the well hidden spark of worry that flashes in his eyes.

"What about me?" he prods with a forced relaxed expression. Poor man, I cant torture him like this. Yes, I am a big softie. I scoot over on the couch to lay my head on his shoulder and sigh dramatically.

"The best way to seduce you, of course" I reply with a falsely confident smirk. At once, the strange concern drains from him to be replaced with his normal, agonizingly sexy self-assurance.

"Ah, that is a tricky subject. There are so many options, so many things that you could try. It could take you ages to riddle it out" he comments, smoldering at me from under his lashes.

"Your right, I should just give up" I pout, flopping back into the head rest.

"You little minx" he rasps, grabbing me around the waist and lifting me into his lap as though I were as light as a feather. His eyes are burning blue sapphires, glowing from behind his long hair like stars, as he presses his hands on my back to cause me to lean on his chest.

He leans in and ghosts his lips across my temple. I press into the kiss and tilt my face up, feeling those soft lips vibrate against my cheek, my nose, my chin. I hadn't consciously meant to kiss Sirius back, but our lips met regardless, a soft whisper of flesh on flesh. We both froze at the contact and remained motionless; mouths open slightly, barely touching, as we panted into one another. I felt a renewed surge of arousal spike through my body, threatening to overtake me, and I _keened._

With a thick growl, Sirius surges forward and seizes my lips in a sizzling, toe curling, mind-reeling kiss that forces a whimper from my throat and my eyes to clench in pleasure. His lips are like flowing silk as he dominates my mouth with his. He licks and nibbles at my lower lip and I cant help but open my mouth to accept him. I submit willingly, eagerly, and am rewarded as he plunders my mouth with his tongue. Sirius is groaning and growling, his hands clenching around my hips, and fucking my mouth with his tongue as though he has wanted me all his life.

The world tilts, slanting on its axis, as the heady sensations roll over me and threaten to overwhelm everything I have ever known except Sirius Black. This is so much different than any kiss I have ever had, and its not just the fact that I love him desperately or that it's a man I'm kissing, it's the pure experience that bleeds through every movement he makes. The raw sexual energy that quakes and trembles into me and straight to my groin.

He rips his mouth from mine abruptly, pants fluttering against the skin on my face, and leaning the side of his head against my temple.

"You've done it now" he rumbles darkly, pulling back to look into my eyes. I whine pathetically at the unadulterated lust that pulses from his eyes, his lips, the tightness of the muscles under my hands and he makes a choked noise in the back of his throat as he crushes our mouths together again.

* * *

A/N: Hi everyone! I struggled with this chapter for three days and I have to say that I am still not completely satisfied with it, but I have posted it for you none the less. I hope you don't hate it too much. PLEASE REVIEW!!! I am desperate, guys, and I will result to bribes and coercion to get you all to drop me a little line. I NEED REVIEWS TO POWER THE UPDATES!!!

Oceans of Love,

~Kitty


	12. Chapter 12

Misery Loves Company  
Rating: MA – Smut ahoy!!  
Authors Notes: Jeepers! We've made it to chapter twelve already! I am sure most of you have noticed that we still have quite a ways to go before we're complete but I think we're moving along splendidly. If you would like to drop me a line with requests, suggestions or comments please feel free to do so. I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far. Thanks for reading!  
Warnings: This chapter will contain graphic descriptions of M/M sex.

"Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping... waiting... and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us, guides us; passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments; The joy of love, the clarity of hatred and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion maybe we'd know some kind of peace... but we would be hollow... Empty rooms shuttered and dank. Without passion we'd be truly dead." – Joss Whedon

**Misery Loves Company  
Chapter Twelve  
**By: Kitty

Sirius's hands are desperate as they clutch and grab at me, leaning forward so much that my back arcs and bows to keep us pressed together. His mouth is liquid fire, searing the kisses into my skin as though to fuse us together permanently by the force of his will alone. I tangle my fingers in his hair and whine piteously, pressing our lips together properly and letting his tongue dominate my mouth. He is everywhere at once, filling my entire functioning system with nothing but thoughts of him and how perfectly we fit together like this. Dancing, pulsing, convulsing electricity flows between us, mingling and spinning over every nerve ending, forcing our bodies to bend to its will, and we move in a graceful wave; twisting and surging frantically to get closer to each other.

I don't know how long we writhed together, a flurry of lips and hands and hips, but after an eternity he wrenches his mouth from mine with a coarse groan. He tangles his hands in my hair and keeps my face inches from his, staring at me with enough intensity to turn my bones to mush right here in his lap. There is nothing for it, this racing fire beating its way through my bloodstream, howling at me to set it loose, to give in to the primal ache that has settled in my lower abdomen.

"Enough" Sirius rumbles; his voice is just a whisper, a breath of grated tone, but the power the word has over me is pronounced – He said no. Alright, don't cry like a little girl, just suck it up and go to the bathroom for your breakdown.

"I'm sor – " I squeak, only to be cut off by his finger pressing on my lips to silence me.

"I just don't… We cant rush this, Harry. Right now, you have a lot of stress and pressure and other emotions that I can't really think of at the moment. But you have a lot going on and I don't want you to regret any decisions that you make out here – with me." Sirius croaks, shutting his eyes as though he were in great pain. I can practically feel the currents of sadness that emanate from him.

"So you're saying that we need to stop because you're concerned about me regretting this?" I ask incredulously, tugging at the hand that had crept up to rub at his forehead and threading our fingers together. Unable to meet my eyes, he nods in response and squeezes my fingers tightly.

"Sirius, do you want this?" I whisper, eyes pricking with the onset of tears and for the first time since we sat outside the tent together, my stomach rolled and clenched in fear. I don't know what I would do if he said that he didn't want me. How could I have deluded myself into believing that he would want me forever? Sooner or later, he is going to want someone else and I will be left here – crumbling into dust as he leaves me.

"Merlin's Balls! Of course I want this, love. You mustn't think that I don't want to… that I don't want you. I do! So bloody much that I cant see straight" he exclaims, tugging me into his arms for a rather tight hug. Again with the hugs. I want to go back to the kissing and the grinding now that I know that the day of his departure isn't today after all.

"Do you remember when you said that you would need to show me how much you love me?" I ask in my most seductive tone, pressing my lips directly next to his ear so he can feel the puffs of my breath on his skin.

"Yes" He replies with a shudder, convulsively clutching me tighter against his chest.

"Well, you do show me. Every day, in fact. So… I think its time that I show you" I purr, combing my fingers through the sashaying black curls at his temples. He makes that choked sound again and swallows a few times before pulling back enough to look in my eyes.

"I – rather, well, its been a very long time since I've had anyone… and I'm not entirely sure that I will be – " he stumbles, looking a bit lost and quite nervous. How presumptuous of him. Still, it's a strange sight, Sirius Black - nervous about sex. I never thought I would live to see the day.

"Stop talking" I demand, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, locking our eyes together and stroking the flesh on the back of his neck with my fingertips. Ok, don't mess this up. You are going to tell him to fuck you into the mattress and that's final!

"Alright" he relents, blinking owlishly at me as the hands rubbing the sides of my hipbone clench involuntarily.

"I love you, I trust you" I begin, speaking slowly to allow the words to sink into his mind and to gather up any and all Gryffindor courage lying around in order to actually say what needs saying. "I want you to fuck me."

For agonizing moments, he remains still and silent. His breath had caught in his throat and his fingers have ceased their petting. Then at last, he swallows, blinks a few times and then frowns handsomely.

"I've no intention of fucking you, Harry" he says steadily, tone even and deep, still deathly still. I can feel my heart shatter into a million pieces, my blood freeze in my veins, the synapses seize in my brain and I wish I could throw myself off of his lap and run as far away from him as I can right now.

Suddenly, without warning or preamble, he stands up and grips my arse to keep me fully wrapped around him. I'm too numb to even make a noise of protest as he begins to walk… somewhere with me. Probably outside the tent, so that he can drop me off a cliff. That is the kindest approach, after all. It would be better than living with this agonizing, gaping hole in my chest.

Instead, he places me firmly on the end of the bed and kneels between my splayed thighs and grabs my arms from around his shoulders and grips my hands tightly in his larger ones.

"I will never fuck you, Harry. 'Fucking' is what you do when you don't care about someone" he elaborates, smiling gently as if I wasn't just torn open and bleeding a moment ago. It takes me a few seconds to piece together just what he's saying. He wants to have sex with me… he wont fuck me… because he loves me. Oh. I feel like a complete wanker.

"What do you call it when you do care?" I whisper, feeling the weight of his eyes as they rest on my face. He wants me to look at him when he says it… Oh Merlin. I lock our eyes together with bravery I don't feel and let the swirling gray pierce into me.

"There aren't words enough, kitten. I'd much rather show you" he says so very softly that I have to strain to hear him. I can see his throat move as he swallows again and he leans in closer to me, placing his knee between my legs and using one arm to support his weight while the other buries itself in my hair. I notice myself leaning back, arching towards the mattress as he closes the distance, and letting me just inhale his breath for endless eons while he aligns our bodies flat on the bed.

"Let me show you how good we can be together" he sighs, brushing my lips with each word, and I shudder deeply. It's a declaration, a promise, a question and I know he's waiting for an answer.

"Yess" I hiss, arching my back and whining while he gazes at my face. I'm so bloody turned on that I can't see straight, my shirt is rucked up around my waist and Sirius smells like heaven and he isn't even kissing me yet! "Please."

Sirius trembles, his breath hitching in his chest, and his eyes raking my face as though he was checking to make sure I wasn't an illusion. With a guttural growl, he lunges forward and takes my mouth in a white-hot explosion of teeth and lips and tongues and hands everywhere and the notion that kissing was ever only about lips becomes absurd. He is thrusting, twisting, curling his tongue in my mouth and I whimper and yowl wantonly, not even bothering to be embarrassed about the noises that are coming out of my mouth.

Before I even become aware that we are moving, he has abandoned my mouth and is pulling my sweater over my head and throwing it onto the floor with a grunt. He attacks my neck, biting hard enough to bruise before soothing it with his tongue gently. I can't speak, can't think, can't even bring myself to start taking his shirt off. It's so good; his mouth is made for sin. He brings his hips down onto mine, grinding into my aching hardness once, twice, three times before twisting to grasp behind my left knee, and bringing my thigh up to cradle his hips. The rubbing is driving me insane, my toes are curling and my teeth are clenching tight in his shoulder but he seems to like it, want more, because he keeps making these scratchy growly noises in the back of his throat and writhing against my body.

I find my arms again, and I fumble to undo all the fastenings on his button up shirt and tear it from his torso with a snarl. I have to feel him, touch him, take him into me deep enough so that he can never leave. His skin feels like hot velvet against mine and I can't help but run my fingers over every tattoo, every scar. Touch, taste, feel, want. They all bleed together, overriding any nervousness or trepidation to be replaced by absolute need.

His mouth is doing things that I never even knew I wanted. Pinching, licking, biting at my nipples, nipping on each available area of skin and he is steadily working downward. Oh Merlin, that's so bloody good. As much as I would like him to suck me off, I don't think I would last nearly long enough to really enjoy it so I grab his hair and wrench him back up to my face and mash our lips together ferociously, letting the other hand grapple with the release of his trousers. Eventually, he has to help me, ripping the little button from its home and wiggling his hips to get the offending garment off. I try to push them off with my foot, flicking them past his ankles and onto the floor with the rest of our clothing. He tears my own clasp open and wrenches my pants off in under twenty seconds, and without any pause we are naked, frantically thrusting against bare skin and nothing has ever felt this good before, not ever, and I cant breathe again but I don't care at all because this is where I want to be for the rest of my life.

"Need. Lube." He pants between kisses, fingers bruising on my ribs but it's not nearly enough so I whine and groan beneath him, not listening to the words that he says. It's too good, too powerful to stop and all I can do is claw at his back and rub against his thigh helplessly. "Fuck it. _Lubricus_."

I feel a distinct wetness, a cold goopy feeling inside me. Not unpleasant, just different. I pause, needing to collect myself. He is just so addicting, influencing, wonderful. I have to calm down. I realize that he used a lubrication spell and that's why I have the slickness inside me.

"Sirius" I moan, curling the fingers of both my hands into his hair and yanking him back from the nipple he was torturing.

"Hm?" he asks, blinking to get me into focus. His eyes are glowing in the semi-darkness of the tent, cerulean spheres behind curtains of black curls.

"Please. I need…" I whimper, scratching lightly at his scalp and praying that he gets what I mean because I don't know if I can say it.

"Hush, love. I know what you need" he coos, raising my other leg and letting my foot rest on the bed. He is still leaning over my face and I cant resist kissing him sweet and slow as one finger circles my entrance gently. Oh Merlin, that feels so good.

"Please" I plead again, trying to push back onto the finger. He chuckles and slides the finger in to the second knuckle before stopping and making progressively bigger swirls. Fuck! I look down and the first thing I notice isn't the torturous digit or the collection of tattoos on his chest. I see his long, angry erection jutting from coarse pubic hair and I want to touch, taste, feel every inch of him. Later, I promise myself.

Sirius twirls his finger inside me as though he were searchi – FUCKING HELL! Oh FUCK. That must be what everyone is making a fuss about. Using the moment to his advantage, he plunges a second finger in and kisses me as a distraction. It works, he fucks my mouth with his tongue as he fucks my ass with his fingers. The dual sensations are overwhelming and mortifying noises spill constantly from my throat. He keeps spinning, twisting and scissoring his fingers inside me, hitting That Spot over and over before he finally adds a third finger and thrusts his digits in and out of me for endless moments.

"Sirius, FUCK, please" I whine, following the finger's movements with my hips.

"Say it, kitten. Tell me what you want" he croons softly, sliding the fingers out and using the clinging wetness to slick his cock. He places the blunt head against my opening, curling my legs around his waist and gripping one of my hands in his own, kissing me tenderly, sweeping my tongue in long, delicate swipes with his own.

"I need you inside me" I whisper against his lips, blushing brightly, and leaning back in to kiss him again. He growls again, tightening his fingers around mine, and kisses me briefly but pulls back to gaze into my eyes intensely.

He eases inside with languid, shallow thrusts, stretching me open tenderly and it feels like an eternity before he is buried to the hilt. It burns, stretching and pulling, but I ignore it, choosing instead to focus on Sirius's face as he pushes inside me for the first time

"Harry. Oh god, _Harry_" he breaths, fully seated and still, letting me adjust to the intrusion. I think that might be the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. His face is filled with awe, and love and I cant help the flood of emotion that hits me as I look at him. Sirius is inside me and this is it. This is the reason all those terrible things have happened to me. This is what I get for suffering all these years. I get Sirius.

"Siriusss" I hiss, almost slipping into parsletongue and arching into him, clutching at his hand like a life line. I grip my thighs around him tighter, wanting him deeper, wanting him closer, wanting to merge together at the seams until we were one person. Sirius is shaking, the muscles in his legs trembling under my calves. Closer, closer… until we were touching everywhere. Eyes open, breathing hitched, and I feel as if I was caught in that swirling blue-gray gaze and as he began to move, he never once took his eyes from mine.

We rocked together gently for a very long time, until I was shaking, moaning with the intensity of it. Sirius' girth slid in and out of me so softly that I wanted to cry. My orgasm built slowly and I hovered on the edge, unable to fall, for an eternity.

"I love you so" I whispered, pushing my hips up softly on Sirius' downward thrusts, showing him with my eyes how very much I meant it.

"Harry…" he growled, and pressed in as deep as he could go. I can feel his cock jerk and spasm inside of me, followed by heat and wetness. Sirius continued to thrust, moaning my name, and I fell hard, my own cock untouched. I trembled and quaked as pleasure unlike anything I have ever known rushed over me and I _writhed _up against him, spreading my legs involuntarily, as my own cock sputtered its release.

Sirius took long moments to kiss me, softly and lovingly, but all too soon he slipped from inside me and pulled me across his chest for a good snuggle.

"I love you" he croaks, carding his fingers through my hair and pressing little kisses at my temples.

"I love you too" I reply, keeping the tears at bay and the lump out of my throat as I stroked my fingers over his tattoos.

"Rest now, kitten" he sooths. "I'll be here in the morning"

"You'd better be" I snark, clutching him tighter against me and letting my eyes fall shut at last. Sleep came almost immedietly.

* * *

A/N: Well here is the long awaited sex scene. I found it terribly difficult to write, to add in all the longing and desperation, but I think it turned out all right. I'm sorry that there wasnt a lot of plot development in this chapter but I felt that the emotional levels that the characters were at deserved some sort of release at this point. I really hope you all liked it, I really cant tell if its any good because I always hate my own work but this is for you guys more than it is for me. PLEASE REVIEW! I will simply die if no one gives me any feedback on this chapter. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!!!

Oceans of Love  
~Kitty


	13. Chapter 13

Misery Loves Company  
Rating: MA – Smut ahoy!!  
Authors Notes: I am in serious need of a beta, so if you're interested, please contact me at If you would like to drop me a line with requests, suggestions or comments please feel free to do so. I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far. Thanks for reading!  
Warnings: This chapter will contain graphic descriptions of M/M sex.

"Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping... waiting... and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us, guides us; passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments; The joy of love, the clarity of hatred and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion maybe we'd know some kind of peace... but we would be hollow... Empty rooms shuttered and dank. Without passion we'd be truly dead." – Joss Whedon

**Misery Loves Company  
Chapter Thirteen  
**By: Kitty

Sunlight streams through the canvas walls, banishing shadows and the clinging frost. I woke sometime before dawn and simply watched Sirius sleep. His face is just so relaxed and open while he sleeps that I couldn't tear my eyes from him. He really is stunning; soft pink lips, wild black curls, dark lashes against ivory cheekbones, black symbols sprawled across his chest, flat hard stomach littered with scars and muscles. Right now, I know without a doubt that I want to spend the rest of my life lounging in bed with Sirius after making love with him.

Have you ever had one of those moments where you wish the entire world would freeze right then so that you could simply live within that moment forever? Making love with Sirius Black was that moment for me. When I felt him move inside me, my entire universe was moving too and every breath I drew was Sirius. A month ago, Sirius had fallen behind the veil and I was so sure that I would never see him again. It was devastating, crippling and I had all these feelings inside me that I just couldn't understand, couldn't reconcile with the reality of my life. I couldn't understand how I could have such an intense longing for a person, such a deep aching hole inside my chest and have nothing to soothe the agony. Why would the 'Powers That Be' have me love someone, need someone, crave someone like I loved, needed, craved Sirius only to kill him when I needed him most. But now I have him back.

I got Sirius back, despite everything I had to go through – all that I have left to do. That would have been enough to live on for me. Just to have him with me would have given me enough strength to carry on… but now I seem to have gotten everything I have ever wanted even though I didn't particularly know what I wanted until recently. I just can't help wondering when the other shoe will drop. It's not as though I am used to having anything relatively good happen to me.

Sparking sapphire eyes flutter open and lock onto me with a sort of apprehension and clarity that one wouldn't expect just after a person wakes up. I wonder why he is looking at me like that. I do believe that I am the one who should be concerned about him running away screaming. I mean, I was a virgin who is considered the number one fugitive and we're living in a tent going from place to place and he is this enigmatic, handsome, funny, smart man who could have anyone he wants… as soon as his name is cleared anyway. I am most certainly not someone who the majority if men would want.

"Good morning" I whisper, a bit exasperated by the high, scratchy note of my voice. It's bad enough that I have no idea what's going to happen from here… I just had to go make a fool out of myself first thing in the morning.

"Mm, it most certainly is" he says, voice only a rasping growl. Oh Merlin, that's hot. "Come 'ere".

It is with startling speed that I attach my mouth to his and nibble at his bottom lip. Holy Mother of Salazar Slytherin, I don't think I have felt such relief in quite a while. With his lips pleasantly occupied he can't tell me how bad I was or how he thinks we'd be better off as friends… as is more likely. I've never known Sirius to be mean to me. This is really the best plan, I'll keep his mouth occupied until he either realizes how perfect we are together or he passes out from lack of oxygen… or I do. Unfortunately, I didn't count on him pulling back, which he managed after only a minute of blissful disregard to everything outside this bed.

"No fair" I whine, scoring my nails lightly down the center of his chest.

"Terribly sorry, kitten" he chuckles with a smirk. "I'll be right back."

I manage a grumble of displeasure as he drags himself out of bed and into the washroom. My grumble turned into a whimper when I realize that he is still very naked and I have been treated to the vision of his bare arse strutting away to the bathroom. _I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you walk away._

"What do you feel like for breakfast this morning?" Sirius yells from the bathroom, completely bypassing the awkward morning after conversation. Merlin bless and keep him.

"Do we have any eggs left?" I shout back, folding my arms behind my head and reclining in the bed. A small twinge of pain echoes but I push it away and focus on simply listening to Sirius bustle around the bathroom. Its not pain exactly but rather a telling ache, comforting in a way to know that I have something to remember the night by. Especially if it was only a one-off.

"We should, I got a dozen yesterday. I bet I could manage fried eggs and hash if you wanted to lounge in bed…" he suggests, trailing off at my confused expression. Ok, is he trying to shake me off or is he being sweet? It's hard to tell in my current befuddled, dazed and slightly aroused state. I mean, it is rather distracting to have a naked Sirius Black parading around and offering to make breakfast.

"Is my cooking that bad?" he inquires with a rather transparently fake smile. His eyes have clouded slightly and his eyebrows have drawn together a bit.

"Huh? Oh, no! Its just that I'm… er… not entirely sure what's going on at the moment" I bumble, flushing with my inadequacy. Merlin, why can't I just be normal around him? It's like I have perfectly coherent thoughts until he asks me a direct question and then my tongue swells to twice its normal size and nothing appropriate comes out. You know those trashy romance novels where the heroine gets all faint and loses all capacity for proper speech and her knees get all weak whenever the guy even looks at her? Yeah, that's me.

"Oh. I just thought that you might like breakfast in bed. You know… 'cause you might be a bit sore and I don't want you to have to scramble about when I could be doing these things and I am really freaking out right now" he rambles back, frowning handsomely and shuffling anxiously to stand at the foot of the bed.

"Yes, well, that would be lovely. Thanks" I mumble, valiantly fighting the blush that wanted to creep up my neck. I try an encouraging smile but I think it came out as more of a grimace so I dropped it as soon as it flickered about my lips.

"Yeah, that didn't help me. I think that I've ballsed this up terribly" he sighs, rubbing a hand over his face tiredly.

"No, it was me. I'm … and you… we… I should just not say words" I try only to bury the idiocy when it became apparent that I would be unable to speak appropriately again.

"Let's start again" he says, crawling up the bed to lie next to me on his side. My eyes flicker across his face and attempt to make myself seem less terrified than I actually am. Slowly, giving me plenty of time to turn away, he brushes the tips of his fingers up my cheekbone. My eyes close instinctively and I let out a breathy sigh, leaning into the touch.

"Mmk" I whisper.

"Good morning, Lover. Did you sleep well?" he coos, sweeping his lips against my mine with each utterance and sealing the sentence with a deep kiss that might have stopped my heart for a moment. Men like Sirius should never call someone 'lover'. It is extremely detrimental to ones health.

"Oh yeah" I mutter as soon as he pulls back, smiling stupidly. "You?"

"Definitely" he replies, bestowing another kiss to my smiling mouth before turning to nuzzle the fleshy part behind my ear. Godric's Girdle, not helping at all. I had just recovered from the whole 'lover' induced cardio-pulmonary incident and now with the nuzzling.

" 'M glad" I croak, baring my neck to give him better access and wordlessly encouraging further action.

"Are you? How wonderful. Have I mentioned lately how beautiful you are?" he whispers against my ear, playfully nipping the lobe as soon as he stopped speaking.

"Er… no. I don't believe so" I say, attempting a nonchalant tone as I am subjected to little nibbles and licks to my neck and jaw line. Beautiful? Me?

"Mm, you are absurdly beautiful. I am so very grateful that you're mine" he croons, planting little kisses against my lips every other word.

"Huh?" I groan, trying (and failing) to focus on what he's saying rather than the sinful things his fingertips are doing to my bare back. Did he just say that I was his?

"Oh yes, kitten. Did I forget to mention that bit? I don't intend to share you with anyone ever again, Lover. You're mine, now" he growls, claiming my mouth in a sizzling kiss that might just kill me. Not that I particularly care at the moment. Sirius just told me, in his own special way, that we're together and he doesn't want to just forget about it, or pretend that it never happened, or fuck some other guy as soon as we get out of this mess. He wants me… not just for sex, but ME! Harry. Just Harry.

"Yesss" I hiss, fingers going into claws on his back and clinging to him desperately.

"Hm, is that what you wanted, kitten? Do you want to be mine?" he asks, tongue diving into the dips and curves of my collarbone obscenely. I hope that the undignified noise that just came out of me was affirmative because I think I have actually lost the ability to form words at the moment.

"I'm going to need more than that, petal" he reproaches, nipping sharply at my shoulder.

"Ngah. Yes, yours. Just yours" I squeak, eyes practically rolling into the back of my head with all the distracting stimulus.

"Very good, Harry" he sooths, running his tongue back up my throat to lap delicately at my lips before pulling back entirely, ignoring my yelp of irritation. "Now just lie right here while I fix breakfast."

"You do not play nice" I whine piteously, pouting my lower lip. He takes the opportunity to nip at the protruding lip before springing from the mattress and practically bouncing to the stove to start the food on the burner.

"I don't, do I? I thought I was playing _very_ nice" he teases, his voice dropping to that scratchy growly tone that I believe might just be a gift from the devil himself. No one else would dare give a voice like that to someone like Sirius.

"Prat" I mutter, burying my face into his pillow petulantly.

"You love me" he boasts, lifting his chin proudly and smirking.

I mumble to myself about the ego of Blacks and teasing poor, innocent godsons into a frenzy only to make eggs instead of finishing what was started. Sirius just snickers, the bastard. After a few minutes, Sirius returns to the bed with two plates of eggs and hash browns. We sit with our backs against the headboard, eating in comfortable silence. The food is surprisingly good and I find myself hungrier than I thought I was.

"So, Godric's Hollow" I blurt, trying to take my mind off the rather distracting arousal I am currently trying to dispel. Sirius looks at me sideways, arching an elegant brow at my randomness.

"Yes, Godric's Hollow. I was thinking that we should use Polyjuice and probably the cloak just to be sure that we're not spotted. What do you think?" he replies, taking one last bite of his breakfast before banishing the dishes.

"I agree. We should use both just to be safe. I mean, as far as we know, no one knows your alive so a sighting right now would be really unfortunate" I state, looking at him intensely. He is looking at me with a little smile playing about his lips and an unknown glint in his simmering blue depths.

"Good, we've come to a decision, then?" he asks, visibly leering.

"I would say so" I say, unable to drag my eyes from the feast of black ink and creamy white skin that is peeking out of the sheets. Get a grip, Potter! Its not like I've never seen him without a shirt before. I've just never seen him without a shirt in bed, after we had sex…

"Excellent. Now we just need to decide when we're going and where we'll start" he muses, flopping onto his side to look at me. Frick! He still wants to talk.

"Sirius…" I whine, pouting my lower lip and scooting closer to him.

"I'm sorry, kitten. Did you want something?" he chuckles, wrapping an arm around my waist, blue eyes sparkling with mischief.

"I think you know very well what I want" I gripe, trying to wrestle him on top of me with my hands on his shoulders.

"Of course. You want to talk about where we should visit first once we get to Godric's Hollow" he says, smirking widely at my obvious attempts. It's not as though I don't care about all this, it's just that its not everyday that I get a naked, willing Sirius in my bed. Let me tell you, it's very distracting.

"Right" I sigh, looking crestfallen. It's alright, talk now and play later. I can handle this; I just need to think of something really dull and un-arousing. Like Snape. No, not Snape… I'll just get mad and sulky. Molly Weasley naked? Excellent, just the desired response.

So, it was rather grudgingly that I agreed to discuss each and every piece of the journey to Godric's Hollow in intricate detail that left me sadly unsatisfied and with a slightly sour twinge in my stomach. Sirius was speaking about going to the place where he not only lost his friends and family to a madman and a trusted friend, but somewhere he swore to me that he would never return to again as though it was just another place – another stop on our seemingly endless journey to discover a way to defeat Voldemort. It was disconcerting at best to witness the usually passionate man reduced to clinical detachment. All that is besides the fact that he hasn't so much as made one lewd comment since we woke up together and started this whole process. He gave sweet, brief kisses, let me sit on his lap and held my hand but never allowed us to progress further than that.

I would gladly have set out for Godric's Hollow the following day, but Sirius had other ideas. Convinced as he was that Voldemort would expect me to return to the scene of my parents' deaths, he was determined that we would set off only after we had ensured that we had the best disguises possible. It was therefore a full week later — once we had surreptitiously obtained hairs from innocent Muggles who were Christmas shopping, and had practiced Apparating and Disapparating while underneath the Invisibility Cloak together — that he agreed to make the journey.

We were to leave for the village under the cover of darkness, so it was mid-afternoon by the time we swallowed the Polyjuice potion. Sirius transforming into a slightly balding, middle aged man with brown eyes and hair and I transformed into his slightly more unfortunate looking brother. The beaded bag containing all of our possessions (apart from the Horcrux, which I was wearing around my neck) was tucked into an inside pocket of Sirius's buttoned-up coat. I lowered the Invisibility Cloak over us, and then we turned into the suffocating darkness once again.

Heart beating in my throat, I open my eyes. We were standing hand in hand in a snowy lane under a dark blue sky, in which the night's first stars were already glimmering feebly. Cottages stood on either side of the narrow road, Christmas decorations twinkling in their windows. A short way ahead of them, a glow of golden streetlights indicated the center of the village.

"All this snow!" Sirius whispered beneath the cloak. "Why didn't we think of snow? Now we'll leave prints! We'll just have to get rid of them — you go in front, I'll do it "

I really did not want to enter the village like a pantomime horse, trying to keep ourselves concealed while magically covering our tracks.

"Let's take off the Cloak," I say, to which he looked anxious, "Oh, come on, we don't look like us and there's no one around."

I stowed the Cloak under my jacket and we made our way forward unhampered, the icy air stinging our faces as we passed more cottages: Any one of them might have been the one where my parents had once lived. I gazed at all the front doors, their snow-burdened roofs, and their front porches, and I cant help but wonder if I remember any of them. I know it's impossible, I was only a year old when I was taken from this majestic place forever. To be completely honest, I wasn't even sure whether I would be able to see the cottage at all. I don't know what happens to a dwelling when the subjects of a Fidelius Charm die.

The little lane on which we were walking curved strangely to the left and the heart of the village, a small village square, was revealed. Strung all around with colored lights, there was what looked like a war memorial in the middle, partially obscured by a windblown Christmas tree. There were several shops, a post office, a pub, and a little church whose stained-glass windows were glowing jewel-bright across the square.

The snow here had become impacted: It was hard and slippery where people had trodden on it all day. Villagers were crisscrossing in front of us, their figures briefly illuminated by streetlamps. I can hear a snatch of laughter and pop music as the pub door opened and closed; a carol starting up inside the little church.

"Harry, I think it's Christmas Eve!" Sirius exclaims, clenching my hand in his larger one and bouncing slightly as he walked.

"Is it?" I ask, frowning at him briefly. We hadn't seen a newspaper in weeks and I find that I have lost track of the date.

"I'm sure it is," Sirius replies, his eyes now fixed upon the church. "They. . . they'll be in there, kitten. I can see the graveyard behind it."

An awkward feeling passes through me with one look at the old graveyard; a thrill of something that was beyond excitement, more like fear. Now that I was so near, I don't know if I want to see after all. That's where their… bodies are. When they died, they were placed in the ground in that little graveyard in this little town where no one visited them and the people who should be visiting were too otherwise occupied. The guilt hits me like a wave, tugging me under and crushing the breath from my lungs. If I feel this bad, I cant even imagine how terrible Sirius must feel.

As if reading my mind, he squeezes my hand again in what I suppose should have felt soothing; it didn't. It was as though fear had frozen me in my place and I couldn't do anything but stare at the little churchyard where my parents are laid to rest. Sirius clenches my hand tighter but this time he pulled me forward, leading the way. Halfway through the square, however, he stopped dead.

"Harry, look" he wheezes, pointing with his unoccupied hand to the memorial. As we passed it, it had transformed. Instead of an obelisk covered in names, there was a statue of three people: a man with untidy hair and glasses, a woman with long hair and a kind, pretty face, and a baby boy sitting in his mother's arms. Snow lay upon all their heads, like fluffy white caps.

I drew closer, gazing up into my parents' faces. I had never imagined that there would be a statue. . . . How strange it was to see myself represented in stone, a happy baby without a scar on my forehead. . . .

"C'mon," I say, turning towards Sirius when I had looked my fill, and we turned again toward the church. As we crossed the road, I glanced over my shoulder; the statue had turned back into the war memorial.

There was a kissing gate at the entrance to the graveyard. Sirius pushed it open as quietly as possible and we edged through it. On either side of the slippery path to the church doors, the snow lay deep and untouched. We moved off through the snow, carving deep trenches behind us as we walked around the building, keeping to the shadows beneath the brilliant windows. Behind the church, row upon row of snowy tombstones protruded from a blanket of pale blue that was flecked with dazzling red, gold, and green wherever the reflections from the stained glass hit the snow. Keeping my hand closed tightly on the wand in my jacket pocket, I moved toward the nearest grave.

"Look at this, it's an Abbott, could be some long-lost relation of Hannah's!" I exclaim, pointing enthusiastically down at the inscription.

"Keep your voice down," Sirius hissed, locking his fingers around my hand in a death grip.

We waded deeper and deeper into the graveyard, gouging dark tracks into the snow behind us, stooping to peer at the words on old headstones, every now and then squinting into the surrounding darkness to make absolutely sure that we were unaccompanied.

"Harry, here!" Sirius barks, only a few tombstones ahead of me. My heart was positively banging in my chest as I made my way to him with sluggish movements.

"Is it — ?" I croak though my clenched jaw.

"No, but look!" He pointed to the dark stone. I stooped down and saw, upon the frozen, lichen-spotted granite, the words Kendra Dumbledore and, a short way below her dates of birth and death, and Her Daughter Ariana. There was also a quotation: Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

So Rita Skeeter and Muriel had got some of their facts right. The Dumbledore family had indeed lived here, and part of it had died here. Seeing the grave was worse than hearing about it. I couldn't help thinking that Dumbledore, Sirius and I had deep roots in this graveyard, and that Dumbledore ought to have mentioned it to me. Maybe during those 'private lessons' we had last year. It would have been nice to bond over a shared… experience of loss. But it seemed to Dumbledore that the fact that our families laid side by side in the same graveyard had been an unimportant coincidence, irrelevant, perhaps to the job he wanted me to do.

I wanted to ask Sirius if he ever came here, if he even thought about it but something told me that I shouldn't bring it up. Not only did he specifically tell me that he never came here but this seemed to be a quiet moment; one that I shouldn't ruin by opening my big mouth and letting the questions fly. There would be time for that later. So, we both wandered through the old, frozen tombstones silently, looking for the inevitable grave of the people who meant so much to us.

"Sirius, look at this" I say, squatting besides a particularly old stone and gazing intently at the strange marking near the top. It was the mark from the book, the one we were trying to figure out earlier. The same mark from Dumbledore's book.

Sirius ambled over, looking worn and tired, and knelt beside me. He frowned intently, running his fingers over the mark.

"It says Ig — Ignotus, I think. . . ." he says, tracing the faded lettering softly.

"Yeah, it could be…" I mutter, getting to my feet and brushing snow from my knees. "I'm going to keep looking, alright?"

"Alright" he whispers, standing as well and threading our fingers together, smiling at me encouragingly.

Every now and then I recognized a surname that, like Abbott, I had met at Hogwarts. Sometimes there were several generations of the same Wizarding family represented in the graveyard: I could tell from the dates that it had either died out, or the current members had moved away from Godric's Hollow. Deeper and deeper amongst the graves we went, and every time I reached a new headstone I felt a little lurch of apprehension and anticipation. The darkness and the silence seemed to become, all of a sudden, much deeper. I looked around, worried, thinking of dementors, then realized that the carols had finished, that the chatter and flurry of churchgoers were fading away as they made their way back into the square. Somebody inside the church had just turned off the lights.

"Harry, they're here" Sirius calls out, voice echoing in the darkness eerily. I could tell from the chocked quality of his voice that he had finally located the grave in question. I moved towards him, feeling as though something heavy were pressing down on my chest, the same sensation that I had right after Dumbledore died, this crushing grief that actually weighed down on my heart and lungs.

The headstone was only two rows behind Kendra and Adriana's. It was made of marble, just like Dumbledore's and the contrast between the blinding white marble and the black lettering etched into it made the words very easy to read. I did not have to kneel or even get very close to read the names engraved in the flawless white stone.

**James Potter Lily Potter**

Born 27th March 1960 Born 30th January 1960

Died 31st October 1981 Died 31st October 1981

**_The last enemy that shall be destroyed is Death_**

I read the words slowly, as though I would never again get the chance to soak them in. I don't know how long I stood and simply ran the words over in my mind, but sometime after the eighth time, Sirius had stepped up beside me and wrapped an arm around my waist. I cant seem to focus on anything other than the words at the bottom of the stone, rereading it again and again, the last time out loud.

"The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death…" I mutter softly, churning my mind over the sentence. A horrible thought occurred to me, and with it a kind of panic. "Isn't that a Death Eater idea? Why is that here?"

"It doesn't mean defeating death in the way the Death Eaters mean it, Harry," Sirius says, his voice gentle. "It means . . . you know . . . living beyond death. Living after death."

But they were not living: They were gone. The empty words could not disguise the fact that my parents' moldering remains lay beneath snow and stone, indifferent, unknowing. And tears came before I could stop them, boiling hot then instantly freezing on my face, and what was the point in wiping them off or pretending? It was just Sirius and I, standing in the snow and grieving again for the people who gave their lives for me. I let the tears fall, lips pressed hard together, looking down at the thick snow hiding the place where the last of Lily and James lay, bones now, surely, or dust, not knowing or caring that their living son stood so near, my heart still beating, alive because of their sacrifice and close to wishing, at this moment, that I was sleeping under the snow with them. I squashed that thought quickly, instantly guilty for thinking it at all. Sirius had taken my hand again and was gripping it tightly, stroking the flash on the back sweetly. I could not look at him, but returned the pressure, now taking deep, sharp gulps of the night air, trying to steady myself, trying to regain control.

I should have brought something to give them, and I had not thought of it, and every plant in the graveyard was leafless and frozen. But Sirius raised his wand, moved it in a circle through the air, and a wreath of Christmas roses blossomed before them. I caught it and laid it on my parents' grave. As soon as I blinked hard to stave off the flow of tears, I wanted to leave: I did not think I could stand another moment there. He put his arm around Sirius's waist, and he put his around my waist, and we turned in silence and walked away through the snow, past Dumbledore's mother and sister, back toward the dark church and the out-of-sight kissing gate.

* * *

A/N: So so so sorry for the delay! I was seriously blocked and it took just a huge effort to get this out to you all. I have over come the issue though, so I should be back on scheduel now. Hope I havent lost any of you! I need more REVIEWS, people! They truely do inspire me and I could really use a bit of that. So, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!

Oceans of Love,  
~Kitty


	14. Chapter 14

Misery Loves Company  
Rating: MA  
Authors Notes: I am in serious need of a beta, so if you're interested, please contact me at **_Kcorder23(AT)yahoo(DOT)com_** If you would like to drop me a line with requests, suggestions or comments please feel free to do so. I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far. Thanks for reading!  
Warnings: Not really any for this chapter.

"Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping... waiting... and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us, guides us; passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments; The joy of love, the clarity of hatred and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion maybe we'd know some kind of peace... but we would be hollow... Empty rooms shuttered and dank. Without passion we'd be truly dead." - Joss Whedon

**Misery Loves Company**

**Chapter fourteen**

By: Kitty

"Harry, wait." Sirius hisses, yanking me behind him protectively, squinting off into the blackness intently.

"What is it?" I whisper, clutching his arm and attempting to peer around his shoulders. We've only just passed the grave of the unknown Abbott, not even out of the cemetery yet.

"There's someone there. Someone's watching us, I can tell. There, over by the bushes," he replies, turning his head just a little to direct his voice towards me. We stand quite still, Sirius still in front of me and I keep an iron grip on his arm while attempting to look around him. Bloody hell, I can't see anything with Sirius's rather tall mass standing in the ruddy way!

Erm… are you sure?" I ask skeptically. There seems to be nothing there to me.

"I saw something move. I could have sworn I did…," he says, taking his wand from the pocket of his jacket and holding it loosely in his fingers.

"We look like Muggles," I point out gently, rising up on my tiptoes to rest my chin on his shoulder.

"Muggles who have just been laying flowers on James and Lily's grave. Kitten, I am sure there's someone over there," he insists, swiveling his head around slowly.

"If it was a Death Eater, we'd be dead by now. It's probably just a cat or a bird. Come on, Siri, we should probably move on," I gush out, tugging on his arm and casting furtive glances towards the shadows surrounding us. No matter how confident I just sounded, there was still the possibility that someone could be watching us.

"You're probably right. Should we head to the cabin?" he sighs, wrapping a defensive arm around my waist and steering us the rest of the way out of the cemetery and onto the street.

"Yeah, might as well" I reply, feet dragging slightly. As we pass the square, I notice that the pub is fuller than before: Many voices inside it were now singing the carol that we had heard as we approached the church. For a moment I consider suggesting we take refuge inside it, but before I could say anything Sirius pulled me down a side street.

"It's this way," he clarifies and pulls me down the dark street leading out of the village in the opposite direction from which we had entered.

I can make out the point where the cottages end and the lane turns into open country again. We walk as quickly as we dare, past more windows sparkling with multicolored lights, the outlines of Christmas trees dark through the curtains. The road is quite long, with many twists and turns and I find myself wondering if this truly is a good idea. On one hand, Dumbledore might have left the sword here in the place he was confident that I would want to go. On the other hand, Death Eaters could be lurking behind almost every tree or bush just waiting for us to pass. If Dumbledore could guess that I would come here, then so could Voldemort.

"Are we close?" I ask after what felt like an eternity of walking. If I'm going to be forced to trudge through the snow, I'm damn well going to talk to my lover while we do it.

"It's there," he croaks, pointing a little way in the distance with his unoccupied hand. Oh Merlin, there it is. I can see it, looming out in front of us at the very end of the row of cottages. As we draw closer, I can see that the hedge has grown wild in the sixteen years since Hagrid had taken me from the rubble that lay scattered amongst the waist-high grass. Most of the cottage is still standing, though entirely covered in dark ivy and snow, but the right side of the top floor had been blown apart; that, I am sure, was where the curse had backfired. Sirius and I stand at the gate, gazing up at the wreck of what once had been a cottage just like those that flanked it.

Sirius is deathly still beside me, barely daring to draw proper breath through his nose and pinching his lips together. His fingers are clenched around my hand almost painfully and I want so much to bring him to me and hug him until the look of anguish passed from his face. I don't even know what to say, what to do to help – I was always pants at comforting people but never have I ever felt so useless before. I should be able to know what he needs, what he wants me to do, but I just have no clue. So, I stay silent and let Sirius handle this all on his own until I either figure out what I should do or the moment of grief passes. This place has always seemed so intangible and unreal, like something from a dream that I could never remember. I can't ever remember being here, and all I have ever heard is stories about my first birthday and flying around on a toy broom from my father… but nothing that I could actually relate to the life I have been living for as long as I can remember. Even now, the cottage doesn't seem real, so I place my fingers over the gate in an attempt to solidify this place to my boggled mind.

My touch on the gate seems to have done it. A sign is rising out of the ground in front of us, up through the tangles of nettles and weeds, like some bizarre, fast-growing flower, and in golden letters upon the wood it said:

_On this spot, on the night of 31 October 1981,  
__Lily and James Potter lost their lives.  
__Their son, Harry, remains the only wizard__  
ever to have survived the Killing Curse.  
__This house, invisible to Muggles,  
has been left__in its ruined state as a monument to the Potters  
__and as a reminder of the violence  
that tore apart their family._

And all around these neatly lettered words; scribbles have been added by other witches and wizards who had come to see the place where the Boy Who Lived had escaped. Some had merely signed their names in Everlasting Ink; others had carved their initials into the wood, still others had left messages. The most recent of these, shining brightly over sixteen years' worth of magical graffiti, all said similar things.

Good luck, Harry, wherever you are.

If you read this, Harry, we're all behind you!

Long live Harry Potter.

Sirius lets out a light chuckle, squeezing my waist and pressing a little kiss to my temple. I feel this strange sensation of relief course through me. Sirius is starting to act like himself again and here, written on this little sign, was proof that some people didn't think that I had deserted them all.

"Its brilliant" I say, leaning into Sirius's side with a little smile for the sign.

"It is at that – " he replies, stopping short and squinting at something in the darkened cottage in front of us. "Something just moved inside."

"It did? Are you sure?" I whisper, trying (yet again) to see something that only Sirius had seen. It's hard to know if Sirius is just being a bit paranoid or if there really might be a threat inside the ruined house. If forced to make a decision, I think it would be best to trust his instincts. He spent over a decade in the dark and can probably see a lot better than I can in these conditions.

"This time, I'm positive" he says, a wry smile playing around his mouth. With a quick movement, he removes his wand from his pocket again and grips the handle tightly; hand steady as he reaches for the latch on the gate.

"Are you mad? We're not going in there!" I hiss, grabbing his hand back from the latch and looking up at him in alarm.

"There's someone inside, love," he repeats, looking at me pointedly.

"All the more reason not to go in! Sirius, for Merlin's sake, stop for a second and think! The place looks ready to crash down and now there's someone inside. Those are both very good reasons to stay here," I urge, pleading in a pathetically whiny voice.

"The sword, Harry! We cant let Voldemort get the bloody sword! We have to go in," he insists, pressing a kiss to my shock-slack mouth and disentangling our fingers to grope again at the latch.

"Sirius! Please, I need a second to think!" I exclaim, holding his waist tightly and allowing myself to be dragged through the gate. This is going, very quickly, from bad to worse.

"In that second, the Death Eater inside could get away with the only thing we know can destroy Horcruxes," he whispers, lips pressed close to my ear to prevent anyone else from hearing.

"We don't even know if the sword is in there! Siri, just listen to me! This is a bad idea, we should absolutely not go in there!" I hiss back, being dragged across the overgrown yard towards the front door.

"Hush now, love. Let me take care of this," he placates, kissing my lips quickly again and striding faster to the door, towing me reluctantly behind him. The way he just talked to me has me seeing red, my blood boiling in anger. How dare he presume he knows best for me! I have a perfectly good brain in my head and I am quite capable of using it to decide whether or not to go traipsing into a death trap.

"Don't talk to me like I'm a bloody child! Sirius, for the love of – JUST STOP! Think about what you are doing for once!" I bellow, clutching on to him desperately and tugging with all my strength to slow his momentum down long enough to think of some sort of plan. Needless to say, Sirius is much stronger than I am and I'm not having much of an effect on his pace. Reaching the porch, he turns, clearly fuming and clenching his hand around his wand.

"Do not even try to pull that card on me. I am not leaving you out here just so a waiting Death Eater can ambush you while I'm inside …and I _am_ going inside. So you're coming with me so that I can keep you safe," he thunders, turning his head to pierce me with his burning eyes.

"Fuck, Sirius. Do you at least have a plan?" I sigh, clearly admitting defeat by slumping my shoulders and averting my eyes.

"Hex them before they bloody well hex me!" he growls, taking my hand in a death grip, opening the door and yanking me inside with him. The door creaked closed ominously, the air is chocked with dust and the floorboards feel gritty under my worn trainers.

"Yes, wonderful plan," I huff, shuffling along after him as he checks each room for intruders.

I can't even bring myself to look around fully; I don't want to look around. I have no desire to see everything I could have had, everything I did have until some psychopath came after my entire family. I don't want to see the pictures on the mantel, the pressure indents on the sofa from too many years of use, the scuff marks on the wall that I can't remember making, Sirius's stricken face as he wanders through each memory delicately. I just want this all to be a dream, something that my mind conjured up to comfort me in the night, because being here and seeing all these things makes me want to throw up and rage and cry until I pass out.

"It must be upstairs," he comments, giving me a pointed look and bringing his forefinger to his lips to ensure that I don't go stomping around. I roll my eyes, nodding, and follow him up the decrepit stairs to the second floor landing while attempting to keep the bile from rising in my throat.

As we glance fleetingly into my parent's old bedroom, a small scuffling noise alerts us to movement in the blown-out nursery. I might have made a small whimper, clung to Sirius's side and completely embarrassed myself but I can't be sure because the next moment Sirius was dragging me through the corridor and stopped just outside the doorway.

There is a shadowed figure standing directly in the middle of the room, shrouded completely by the darkness of the platform and facing the open field that once served as my nursery. Sirius's arm is rigid with anxiety where it is slithered around my waist and his jaw is clenched, making the tendon jump in tension. His wand is straight out in front of him and steady, curses sitting on the tip of his tongue for the first sign of violence from the figure.

"Looking for us?" he bites, tilting his head to the side. The figure turns sideways, bathed in the light from Sirius's wand, and nods slightly; the movement more of a bobble than a nod but I assume that it was an affirmative gesture due to the timing of the spastic ripple.

"Good, 'cause we're looking for you. Now, turn around slowly – no sudden movements, eh?" he orders, flicking his wrist to demonstrate his wand-wielding position. The figure nods again and turns to face us fully; hands limp by the plush hips and making no move towards a wand or any other form of defense.

"Very good – I think we're getting along famously so far," he quips, smirking at the lump of person standing like a statue in my old room.

The illumination from Sirius's wand is glaringly bright against the pallid, molted skin that stretched unevenly over a petite bone structure; dark, sunken eyes peer apathetically at Sirius from under a curtain of matted hair that falls all over its face; a distinct slumping encumbers its shoulders and forces the spine to curve disturbingly. A quick glance at Sirius and I feel a large stone settle in my stomach; he looks concerned and not a little shocked – he knows this muffled person.

"Sirius?" I question, nibbling my bottom lip anxiously.

"Its Bathilda Bagshot…," he mumbles, barely moving his mouth enough for the words to seep out, eyebrows drawn together in a drawn-out wince. "What happened to you, Bathilda?"

She doesn't answer, just shrugs one pitted shoulder listlessly and stares at Sirius intently.

"Who?" I ask, confusion and unease making my voice edgier that I intended it to be. The name sounds familiar, as though I've heard it before, but I just can't remember where I could have been exposed to this person.

"Bathilda Bagshot, she wrote Hogwarts: A History, she had tea with your parents on your first birthday – she knew Dumbledore when he was young," he explains, pallor growing with each word as he searches for a way to explain his rather intense emotional response. Yes, I remember Ron's Great Aunt Muriel mentioning her… something about her being nuttier than squirrel poop. Great, that's just wonderful, she's a crazy old bitty and wont be able to help us at all… unless…. SHE KNEW DUMBLEDORE! He could have given her the sword to give to me!

"Ms. Bagshot, my name is Harry Potter… is there something you're supposed to give me?" I say, moving a bit from behind Sirius's hip and stepping into the room.

Bathilda nods again, her head lolling around her shoulders as though barely attached, her face remaining passive and vague. Holy Merlin, how on earth did Rita Skeeter unlock this woman's memories when she won't even speak? This is really getting absurd.

"Well, do you have it?" I prod, feeling a headache coming on. Sirius's hand is twitching impatiently around my arm and I can tell that he is getting just as irritated as I am.

Again, Bathilda nods vaguely, making no move to actively participate in the exchange she seems to be in charge of. A soft growl comes from Sirius and he squeezes his eyes shut in an attempt to ward off the inevitable throbbing migraine that seems to be afflicting both of us at this point.

"Where is it?" Sirius pushes, letting his eyes open to look at Bathilda expectantly.

Bathilda gestures vaguely towards a trunk stationed near the ruined crib and then points one molted finger towards herself, turns her hand to point at me and then back to the trunk, keeping her sunken eyes trained on me.

"You can only give it to me?" I question, craning my neck forward and making an unattractively focused face.

She nods yet again, but this time the gesture is even more uncontrolled as her head seems incapable of stopping the bobbling motion. A gnawing suspicion settles in my stomach, making me glance to Sirius for some sort of input or direction but he is simply standing next to me looking mystified. Fabulous, looks like I am not going to get anything from him at the moment.

I take two steps further into the room but am stopped short by Sirius's hand yanking on my arm where his fingers are still firmly grasping at me. I turn back to him and give him a little smile of reassurance; he looks so terribly concerned, his eyes sparking with unease. He nods at me, saying without words to be cautious, and releases my arm to allow me to walk forward.

Bathilda turns and hobbles to the trunk and pauses with her back to me and whispers hoarsely and very softly, "You are Potter?"

"Yes, I am," I reply, following her to stand beside the chest.

As soon as the words are out of my mouth, several things happen at once: my scar prickles painfully, throbbing in a tangent rhythm to match my heartbeat; the Horcrux twitches so hard that the front of my sweater actually moves with the force of it; the dark, fetid room dissolves momentarily. I feel an external leap of joy and spoke in a high, cold voice: _Hold him!_

I notice myself swaying on the spot: the dark, debris-ridden room seems to close around me again; I don't exactly know what happened but I know that it was only perceptible to me.

"Where is the sword?" I croak, attempting to gather my equilibrium before Sirius catches on to my recent lapse of Occlumency shields.

"In there," she rasps quietly, pointing to the chest again. I bend down, grasping the latch between my fingers and pulling the lid open to reveal a trunk full of children's toys and just as I reach forward to attempt to move some of the toys out of my way, she moved weirdly: I see it from the corner of my eye; panic makes me stand to face her and horror paralyzes me as I see the old body collapsing and the great snake, Nagini, pouring from the place where her neck had just been.

The snake strikes as I grapple in my pocket for my wand, the fangs tearing violently into the flesh of my shoulder before I can roll away and the force of the impact sends my wand spiraling away from me and clattering to the floor. I can hear Sirius shouting my name and a strange crunching sound followed by an enraged howl that resonated oddly through the floorboards and into my chest as I lay face-down on the ground. The hot, wet blood pulses from the puncture wounds on my shoulder, just above my collarbone, and I know without even looking that Nagini had gotten my sub-clavian artery and the flow of sticky, red liquid would be very heavy if I were to look down. Which I have no intention of doing.

"Accio… Accio Wand…" I force, but nothing happens and I need my hands to push off the dusty floor to help Sirius battle the great snake. I struggle to my knees and glace about, watching in shock as Padfoot snarled and chewed at the body of the snake as Nagini attempts to get her tail around the huge grim and invariably squeeze the breath from him. Well, that's not happening! I scramble my hand on the ground and locate my wand without much trouble but the room was now filled with the snake, its tail thrashing around wildly; Sirius was nowhere in sight and for one moment I allow myself to think the worst…but then there is a loud band and a flash of red light and the snake flies up into the air with a wretched shriek, smacking hard into the remains of the crib, coil after heavy coil colliding with a sickening thud against the remains of wood. I raise my wand but as I do so, my scar seared more painfully, more painfully than it has in years.

"He's coming! Sirius, he's coming!" I roar, surging forwards to stand beside him as he faces Nagini. The huge snake is still, raised up on its tail to nearly Sirius's height, and hissing wildly. It was chaos, things were smashing off the shelves splintered china rains down as the giant tail suddenly thrashes all around, and I grab on to Sirius's hand tightly to prevent separation. He must have changed back into his human form some time after I went down and I can honestly say that I have never been so happy to see him.

I yank Sirius over the rubble of a crib and the snake reared again, but I know that something far worse than the snake is coming, maybe already at the gate, my head is going to split open any second with the shear agony from my scar –

The snake lunged as I take a running leap, dragging Sirius with me as it struck, Sirius yelled, "Confringo!" and his spell explodes the wardrobe mirror and ricocheted back towards us, bouncing from floor to ceiling; I can feel the heat of it sear the back of my hand. Glass cuts my cheek as Sirius pulls me back across the ruined crib to the broken wardrobe and then straight out the smashed window into nothingness, my scream reverberating through the night as we twist in midair…

And then my scar bursts open and I am Volvemort and I am running across the fetid bedroom, my long white hands clutching at the windowsill as I glimpse the two middle-aged, balding men twist and vanish, and I scream with rage, a scream that mingled with the shorter of the two men's, that echoes across the dark gardens over the church bells ringing in Christmas Day…

And his scream is my scream, his pain is my pain… that it could have happened here, where it happened before… here, within the house that I came so close to knowing what it was to die… to die… The pain was so terrible… ripped from my body… but I have no body, why does my head hurt so badly; if I was dead, how can I feel so unbearably, didn't pain cease with death, didn't it go…

_The night wet and windy, two children dressed as pumpkins waddling across the square, and the shop windows covered in paper spiders, all the tawdry Muggle trappings of a world in which they did not believe. . . . And I was gliding along, that sense of purpose and power and rightness in me that I always knew on these occasions. . . . Not anger . . . that was for weaker souls than I . . . but triumph, yes. . . . I had waited for this, I had hoped for it. . . ._

"_Nice costume, mister!"_

_I saw the small boy's smile falter as he ran near enough to see beneath the hood of the cloak, saw the fear cloud his painted face: Then the child turned and ran away. . . . Beneath the robe I fingered the handle of my wand. . . . One simple movement and the child would never reach his mother . . . but unnecessary, quite unnecessary. . . . And along a new and darker street I moved, and now my destination was in sight at last, the Fidelius Charm broken, though they did not know it yet. . . . And I made less noise than the dead leaves slithering along the pavement as I drew level with the dark hedge, and stared over it. . . ._

_They had not drawn the curtains; I saw them quite clearly in their little sitting room, the tall black-haired man in his glasses, making puffs of colored smoke erupt from his wand for the amusement of the small black-haired boy in his blue pajamas. The child was laughing and trying to catch the smoke, to grab it in his small fist. . . _.

_A door opened and the mother entered, saying words I could not hear, her long dark-red hair falling over her face. Now the father scooped up the son and handed him to the mother. He threw his wand down upon the sofa and stretched, yawning. . . ._

_The gate creaked a little as I pushed it open, but James Potter did not hear. My white hand pulled out the wand beneath my cloak and pointed it at the door, which burst open._

_I was over the threshold as James came sprinting into the hall. It was easy, too easy, he had not even picked up his wand. . . ._

"_Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off!" Hold him off, without a wand in his hand! . . . I laughed before casting the curse. . . ._

"_Avada Kedavra!"_

_The green light filled the cramped hallway, it lit the pram pushed against the wall, it made the banisters glare like lightning rods, and James Potter fell like a marionette whose strings were cut. . . ._

_I could hear her screaming from the upper floor, trapped, but as long as she was sensible, she, at least, had nothing to fear. . . . I climbed the steps, listening with faint amusement to her attempts to barricade herself in. . . . She had no wand upon her either… How stupid they were, and how trusting, thinking that their safety lay in friends, that weapons could be discarded even for moments. . . ._

_I forced the door open, cast aside the chair and boxes hastily piled against it with one lazy wave of my wand . . . and there she stood, the child in her arms. At the sight of me, she dropped her son into the crib behind her and threw her arms wide, as if this would help, as if in shielding him from sight she hoped to be chosen instead. . . ._

"_Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!"_

"_Stand aside, you silly girl . . . stand aside, now."_

"_Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead _—"

"_This is my last warning _—"

"_Not Harry! Please . . . have mercy . . . have mercy. . . . Not Harry!_

_Not Harry! Please _— _I'll do anything _—"

"_Stand aside. Stand aside, girl!"_

_I could have forced her away from the crib, but it seemed more prudent to finish them all…_

_The green light flashed around the room and she dropped like her husband. The child had not cried all this time: He could stand, clutching the bars of his crib, and he looked up into the intruder's face with a kind of bright interest, perhaps thinking that it was his father who hid beneath the cloak, making more pretty lights, and his mother would pop up any moment, laughing _—

_I pointed the wand very carefully into the boy's face: I wanted to see it happen, the destruction of this one, inexplicable danger. The child began to cry: It had seen that I was not James. I did not like it crying, I had never been able to stomach the small ones whining in the orphanage _—

"_Avada Kedavra!"_

_And then I broke: I was nothing, nothing but pain and terror, and I must hide myself, not here in the rubble of the ruined house, where the child was trapped and screaming, but far away . . . far away. . . ._

"No," I moan.

_The snake rustled on the filthy, cluttered floor, and I had killed the boy, and yet I __am_ _the boy. . . ._

"No . . ."

_And now I stood at the broken window of the Potter's house, immersed in memories of my greatest loss, and at my feet the great snake slithered over broken china and glass. . . . I looked down and saw something . . . _

"No . . ."

"Harry, it's all right, you're going to be all right!"

_I stooped down and picked up something… I can't see it clearly… Something important…._

"Harry, it's going to be okay, wake up, wake up!"

I am Harry. . . . Harry, not Voldemort . . . and the thing that's rustling is not a snake. . . . I open my eyes.

Sirius is kneeling above me, looking rumpled and tired but his eyes are shining feverishly bright and he is rummaging through the purple clutch that has everything we own inside it while his other hand is putting pressure on the gushing puncture wounds on my shoulder.

"Sirius…" I groan, a small smile fluttering around my mouth at the sight of him. My knight in shining armor.

"Merlin, Harry, I am so bloody sorry. Please, please, please forgive me. Hold on, Kitten, I'm trying to find the Essence of Dittany but I'm shaking and you're bleeding a lot and I'm falling apart here and I just need you to stay with me," he rambles, running a hand over his face and smearing a bit of my blood over his skin as he does.

" 'S alright. Summon…" I croak, snatching the blood-soaked hand in one of my own and clutching it desperately to my chest. I can feel my strength waning, seeping out of me through the slow pulse of blood from my shoulder but Sirius eyes are so intense and focused and I just want to look at them forever. So blue…

"Oh, right… Accio Dittany," he says, holding his wand hand out to catch the little vial whizzing from the bag. His hand is shaking but he manages to pour a bit of the powder onto my wound all the same. Smoke billows up from my shoulder and I can imagine the new, pink skin sealing over the puncture marks. "_Accio_ Blood Replenishing Potion." This time the red bottle flies directly into his now stable hand and he lifts my head enough to be able to swallow the vile mixture down.

I must have lost consciousness when I blinked because the next time I open my eyes Sirius is sitting in a chair beside the bed and the sun has risen a bit in the sky to illuminate the room in orange light. Sirius looks terrible, pale and clammy, and he is slumped in the chair oddly.

"Sirius" I say, trying to sit up in the lumpy bed and failing horribly. Sirius jumps up from the chair, startled, and rushes to my side.

"Let me help you" he whispers. Placing his hand behind my back, he lifts me forward and holds me up with one hand while he rearranges the pillows and eases me back down gently into a sitting position.

"We got away" I say needlessly, but he seems to know that I want some explanations because he nods wearily and sits down on the side of the bed.

"Yes, we're inside Bathilda's… the real Bathilda's house. I had to use a Point Me spell but I got us here before Voldemort could give chase. You've been… well you haven't been quite…," he stammers, looking anxious again.

"What? Awake?" I prod gently, taking up his hand in mine. I notice that he has deep shadows under his eyes and a sponge in his other hand; he has been wiping my face, I realize.

"You've been ill… quite ill," he croaks, looking away from my face briefly but raising his eyes back determinately.

"How long ago did we leave?" I ask, looking around the decaying bedroom.

"Hours ago, you slept the night away," he chuckles darkly and I smile at him gratefully. One can always count on Sirius to make jokes about life-threatening situations.

"And I was unconscious the whole time?"

"Not exactly. You've been shouting and moaning and… things," he replies uncomfortably. I wonder what I did. Cursed like Voldemort, cried like the baby in the crib?

"I couldn't get the Horcrux off you," he adds, looking like he would much rather change the topic but was plowing on for my sake. "It was stuck, stuck to your chest. You've got a mark; I'm sorry, I had to use a Severing Charm to get it away. The snake bite was by far the worse, though. I've bandaged it up the best I can and cleaned it…"

"Thank you," I whisper, pulling at the sweaty shirt and looking at the scarlet oval over my heart where the locket burned me.

"It was the least I could do. Gods, I am so… This is all my fault. You told me not to go in there and I made you and now look at us! No sword, the snake is still alive, you're wounded terribly and…," he rants, pulling at his hair in upset once he dropped the sponge into the vat of water on the bedside table.

"Its going to be alright, Sirius. We're both alive and we got away clean," I soothe, rubbing my thumb across the back of his hand.

"Listen Harry, there's something else I need to tell you. Your wand…" he starts, swallowing thickly but unable to continue.

"What about my wand?" I coo, gentling my voice to encourage him to continue. This must be bad if Sirius can't tell me, he's just one of those people who can tell anyone anything.

Instead of speaking, he reaches down and brings the two jagged pieces of the holly and phoenix feather wand and holding it in front of me sadly.

"What… oh Mer… Repair it," I stumble, grabbing the pieces into my two hands and staring at them in horror.

"I don't think that I'll be able to," he whispers but gathers his wand in his hand none the less.

"Just try," I whisper back, aligning the two halves and presenting them to Sirius forlornly.

"R-_Repairo_" he says and the top portion reattaches itself to the body of the handle. I held it up gently.

"_Lumos_" I try, the wand sparking feebly before going out. I point it desperately at Sirius. "_Expelliarmus!_"

Sirius's wand gave a little jerk, but didn't leave his hand. The feeble attempt at magic was too much for my wand, which split into two again. I stare at it, aghast, unable to take in what I'm seeing… the wand that had survived so much…

"Harry, I'm so, so sorry. I think it was me. As we were leaving, you know, the snake was coming for us, and I cast a Blasting Curse, and it rebounded everywhere, and it must have – must have hit – "

"It was an accident, Sirius. We'll find a way to repair it," I say mechanically. Sirius looks unconvinced but nods dutifully anyway. I can't help but let my mind wander to Ollivander, kidnapped and held hostage by Voldemort; of Gregorovitch who is dead. How am I supposed to find myself a new wand if I can't repair this one?

"Can I… that is to say… Merlin, I was so scared that I lost you. That bitch started twitching and the huge snake came out of her… and it bloody well bit you and I was so pissed and I couldn't go to you and I just… I don't know what I would have done if you didn't get up," he blurts, surging forward to rest his head on my chest and bunch my shirt in his fists.

"Hush, we're fine. I'm alive and I love you and we're going to be fine," I croon, carding my fingers through his curls and nuzzling the silky strands.

"I love you so much it hurts," he mumbles, lifting his head from my chest and kissing my lips forcefully. His mouth is demanding and desperate on mine, all lips and teeth and tongue pushing into me as though this was the last time he'd be able to.

We stay curled into each other in the moth-eaten bed for endless hours, kissing and caressing and reaffirming the other's existence. It was euphoria in the heart of chaos and death and I have never been so grateful to have Sirius with me as I do right now.

* * *

A/N: *cringes away from rotten tomatoes* I hope no one hated this one too much, I tried really hard to make this as genuine as I could. Huge thanks to Parseltonguepen for the once-over and the massive amounts of plotting. I NEED REVIEWS TO SURVIVE!! Make a starving writers day and REVIEW!!!!!

Oceans of Love,

~Kitty


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